The Pact
by The Kerl
Summary: Long ago, three wolf cubs made a pact to stay together, no matter what. Fell survived an icy grave. Kar made it out of the fire alive. And Larka? She never truly died. An alternate sequel to The Sight.
1. Prologue

**So I read ****The Sight**** about eight years ago, and I absolutely hated the ending. It was wrong. I mean, Larka dying was one thing, but you can't leave Kar all alone! Ideas for sequels kept popping up in my mind, and I wrote a bit. I found the floppy disc (I know, it was a while ago) that the file was saved on, and decided I needed to do something with it. I may post that original after this. I was convinced at the end of ****The Sight ****that "Larka never truly died." My friend laughed at me for being in denial, and that quote became an inside joke with us. Although now I have shared it with you, so it is not quite so inside anymore.**

**Anywho, I just wanted to clarify that this story is in NO WAY an angry response to my favorite book of all-time. If you have not yet read ****Fell****, then I suggest you do so. It came out about two years ago. It clears some things up, makes you angry and happy all at the same time. I think I may have cried. Yes, I did. This story is just an idea that needed to meet the world, not a story in which I attempt to correct a delusional author. I greatly respect DCD and his genius.**

**Aside from the fact that I couldn't stop screaming about Larka's death for a week after I read ****Fell****.**

**As much as I wish that I had created the Varg, I didn't. Mr. Clement-Davies minded up the wolfies, so there you go. Yup, I think that's it.**

**But really, Kar is all mine. I'll fight you for him. *growls in threatening manner*

* * *

**

**Prologue**

"_If you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave_

'_Cause your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone._

_These wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real._

_There's just too much that time cannot erase."_

– _**My Immortal**_**, Evanescence**

A soft sigh escaped my mouth, the hot air rolling across my tongue and passing between my lips. I lie there with my head on my paws; the rest of my body sprawled out behind me dejectedly. My eyes rolled up in my sockets to survey the heavens above me, taking in the beauty of the cloudless night. Since Larka's…passing, night was becoming my favorite time of the day. It was the one time of the day that I could truly be alone. I knew that my family meant well when they tried to comfort me, but moving on was simply not an option for me.

Another sigh again escaped my body as I wondered if she had joined Sita in the heavens. Was she was watching me at this very moment? Sometimes when the pain surpassed comprehension I liked to pretend that Larka was watching over me. That she was checking in on me. At these times I would talk to her…but not out loud. I was sure that Huttser would banish me from the pack if he caught me telling his dead daughter about how much I missed her. He already thought I was a head case.

_I think he may not be too far off of the mark_.

My eyes closed involuntarily as an image began to form in my mind. It was Larka, of course. My Larka. Not the new Larka, the little grey one that Palla and Huttser had tried to replace mine with. My Larka was far more beautiful, with her flowing snowy coat and her soft yellow eyes. Her silky tail billowed behind her like a marker. It let everyone know she was _my _Larka. _My Larka_.

But she wasn't my Larka anymore. She was gone. My eyes clenched tighter, wetness building behind the lids. No matter how long I padded the earth I was sure to never forget the look on her face as she leapt from the crumbling bridge; the dropping of my gut as she fell. I would never forget the deafening silence that followed the tumbling of the boulders. I couldn't.

I shook my head to try to rid my mind of the images that were flooding my senses. I stared into the forest in front of me, trying in vain to think of _anything_ other than that night. I thought of the blackness in the trees. The sound of the crickets in the tall grass. The sleeping pups inside the den at my back. _Anything_.

That's when my mind started playing tricks on me.

Mean, awful, tricks.

The breeze picked up, carrying with it a familiar scent from the direction of the tree line. It was a scent that I hoped I would never forget, even into my ancient years. When the pack first returned from Harja, I had found myself catching that scent everywhere. I wasn't alarmed by my delusions now, and since I was more than likely imagining it, I decided to enjoy it. I lowered my head back to my paws and slowly closed my eyes, inhaling deeply. I sighed for the third time this evening, this time in contentment. Quickly I inhaled again, so that I would catch whatever had stimulated the memory of her scent before it faded once more.

It was there again, though this time it was stronger. My tail thumped behind me for the first time in what felt like forever. My rear end would surely be sore the following day from using the long unused muscles. A soft whimper escaped my lips and my eyes shot open at the unexpected sound. I looked around to see if anyone had noticed, but the pack was sleeping inside the den. I was the only one crazy enough to sleep alone outside on a night as cold as this. Aside from Fell, that is. Fenris only knows where he went off to.

In the forest a twig snapped, catching my attention. Ears shot forward and muzzle in the air, nose twitching. Still, all I could I smell was _her_. But that couldn't be right…

I got to my feet, ready to investigate. Stiff from lying so long, I stretched my muscles. My shoulders popped and my back cracked as my tongue lolled out in a giant yawn. I padded forward cautiously in the direction of the noise. I paused after about fifteen yards, though, as a shape emerged from the tree line.

I froze in place as the scent overpowered me. I knew it was her as soon as the tip of her nose left the shelter of the shadows of the forest. My first instinct was to turn around and run back to the safety of the den, but then why should I be scared? I wanted to take a step forward, to see how the apparition would react to my presence, but I simply could not move. The only alternative was to stand there, staring at each other.

Finally, after a few long moments had passed, a cautious step forward and a shaky, "Kar?" broke the silence before Larka collapsed to the ground.


	2. Ch 1

**WOW. I was not expecting the response that the first chapter received. I know, it was only 7 reviews, but still. Think of all of the people you know who have read ****The Sight****. I personally know four, and none of them read my story. I'm trying out something new in this chapter, so please, no flames. Kar very much appreciates it.**

**Danielovitch: Congrats on being the first review!**

**As always, I don't own the Varg. They are running free, but for the fact that DCD brained 'em up one day. Kar visits me in my dreams, though.**

**The Kerl~

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**

**Chapter 1**

_"I see you standing here, but you're so far away_

_Starving for your attention; you don't even know my name._

_You're going through so much but I know that I_

_Could be the one to hold you."_

_**- Yours to Hold, **_**Skillet**

**Larka**

I was not sure how I first became aware of the body lying next to my side. I was awakened from my deep sleep by something, perhaps by the intense ache in my belly. I sensed that it was still dark out, but that morning was quickly approaching. The air was sweet with the dew that covered the ground, along with myself and my companion. A trickle of moisture ran down the length of my snout, tickling me in the process. I tried to shake my head to rid myself of the feeling only to find that another head was pressing mine to the ground.

I inhaled, trying to match the scent of the fur at my nose with something from my past. It was a heavy, musky scent. It reminded me of fallen leaves in the early autumn, just after a rain instead of the mildewy scent that tended to linger in the damp places. This scent reminded me of the way that you could smell the crushed pine needles and damp grass on the moisture that hung in the air. It was not an unpleasant smell, but for the fact that I was so overwhelmed by it that I could barely detect my own scent. My heart began to beat faster as my instincts began to take over. Lips slowly curled up over long canines as my eyelids finally pried apart.

All I could see before me was a wall of grey fur. My head was trapped between ground, chest, and a head. I could feel the snarl work its way through my body long before I heard it with my sensitive ears. It started in my tail—which was trapped underneath the other wolf's hind leg—and worked its way through my gut and out into the morning air. I knew the instant that the other wolf was awake by the change in his breathing. It took longer than I would have liked for him to realize that I was more than displeased with our current position, but you know how males can be.

As soon as he was off of me I was on my feet, ready to fight if the need came. I really did not want to fight, especially because I had no idea who this was. Or where I was. I had this feeling that fighting would not bode well with me later. I was sick of fighting, and I did not have any idea as to why. However, I would fight if I was attacked. This male had invaded my personal space already, so who knew what else he wanted from me.

"Larka?" questioned the male. He shook the sleep away and his eyes widened, taking in my aggressive demeanor. "Larka! It's alright! It's just me," spoke the male. He was not off-put by my response, for some reason. Was I supposed to know him? His eyes told me that I should. I tried to calm myself. Not that it worked much.

"Tell me who you are," I all but growled through my teeth at the male. For some reason my behavior startled him. He seemed shocked that, having found a strange male on top of me in a strange place early in the morning, I should be a tad bit upset.

"Larka, it's me," he spoke as if that should mean something to me. "What's the matter? What's going on?" _Tor knows that's what I want to know_. The odd grey male still appeared relaxed, so I glanced behind me. No, there was no one else there. He was speaking to me.

"Who is Larka?"

I paused as he sent me a strange look. "I…I am not sure what is going on here." He looked back over his shoulder to a rise in the ground. Taking a better look, I could see that we were standing near the entrance of what I assumed to be a den. If this was a pack, then I had absolutely no idea why I was here. I couldn't remember ever having been part of a pack. The male turned his attention back to me and I fixed my eyes over his head, right between his ears. _Best not to make eye contact with him yet._

"Larka, do you really not remember who you are…how you _got here_ last night?" I offered him the briefest of head shakes to show him that I had absolutely no recollection of anything. His ears lowered the smallest amount that had I not been staring at them I would not have noticed. "So then, you don't remember me, do you?" I cocked my head to the side, confused. If I didn't remember myself, why did he expect me to remember him? Was he so special? _Just because he laid on top of me for one night—_

"This is, well, that is…" He was stumbling over his words like a cub caught sneaking out of the den. "Larka, I don't know what to say. I thought I would never see you again, and then you show up here and you don't remember…anything? At all?" I would be lying to myself if I did not admit that the intensity he spoke with did not frighten me. I made the mistake of making eye contact with him and found that he had been looking into my eyes the entire time. My hackles rose on instinct. In the back of my mind I knew that he was not challenging me by making eye contact. But this strange wolf was, well, I suppose I could say unlike any that I had ever met. It was as if he was staring into my soul. For some reason I felt that my soul needed gaurding.

"Please, Larka. I don't know what happened, but I swear to you that I will not harm you. You must realize that." He had not made any move towards me yet, and I doubted that I could win a fair fight against this male anyway. The way he was built, and the way he carried himself, he could very well be a dragga. _Is this his pack?_ The hardness that I expected to find in his eyes, though, was absent. In its place was a sadness that startled me. There was a kindness looking out at me that comforted me and my fear of this new place, but what incident had caused this wolf so much grief? His words were meant to calm me, and I had no reason to fear him, but then he moved. I tensed immediately.

To the left of where we were standing lie a pair of bodies. He padded over and gently picked one up in his giant mouth, followed by the other. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I saw the meat before me. My stomach made a sound similar to the one that escaped my jaws as I watched the male trot closer to me with the meal. When he was as close to me as I could stand him, four feet from me, he dropped the dead Lera to the ground. With a slight dip of his head in my direction he made his way into the den.

* * *

**Kar**

I slumped to ground, ignoring the questioning eyes of my adoptive family. I wanted nothing more than to race back to Larka's side and tell her everything that she had forgotten. I wanted to tell her everything that had happened. What there was between us. What there could be. I wanted to travel back to when we were cubs. It had been just the three of us, with our parents and our pack. The pack had passed since then, and we had grown and gone our separate ways. Kipcha slowly approached me, her tail between her legs, ears back, eyes large. I was sorry for wakening the rest of the pack so early with our…misunderstanding, but how else was I supposed to react to that sort of information?

I smiled to myself as I heard Larka begin feasting upon her much needed meal. The primal sounds she was making sounded as if the lera were still alive. Kipcha's eyes widened in fear.

"Come here, Kipcha. Everything is alright." I tried to keep my voice as steady as possible in order to coax her to me. The young cub made her way towards me and nestled down between my front paws, snug against my chest. Her siblings looked eager to see what was going on outside. I licked the cub's head in a comforting manner, as much for her benefit as for my own. I needed to calm myself before I addressed my family. The cubs had slept through the night, but Huttser had known that something was happening. He had found me dragging Larka's limp form back to the den. He had waited with his daughter while I hunted for her. I hadn't wanted to leave her, but judging by her gaunt state I was sure that she would be hungry when she woke. _And besides, it was better than sitting there and going mad, waiting for her to wake up._ I assumed by Palla's anxious demeanor that she knew her dead daughter had returned as well.

I took a deep breath and finally turned my attention to my family. I looked to Huttser for guidance, not knowing where to begin. "Do they all know?" I asked in a small voice. He slowly nodded his head. "Well, I'm not sure how much you heard, but she…" _You can do this. You can do this, Kar._ "She does not remember who she is. She may remember you, but she does not remember me…" My voice trailed off by the end. I would have turned away towards the wall had Kipcha not still been curled up against me. The cubs seemed confused by this information. Palla looked as if she would burst into tears any moment, and Huttser looked like he was going to kill something. That look used to frighten me when I was younger, but now that I knew that the anger was the Dragga's natural defense against bad news, or _different_, I had learned to look past it.

Palla's voice shook as she spoke. "You mean, she does not remember any of it? Morgra, or Harja, or anything?" I thought I saw a tear glisten in the darkness. If I had been wary of Larka overhearing us there was no need. The ravenous sounds she made as she tore into the Lera drowned out our quiet conversation.

"I did not ask her. She was very upset when she awoke this morning. I think I startled her. She's eating now…I think the best thing is for her to regain her strength. Then we can talk with her about what—"

"Kar," interrupted Huttser in a rather condescending tone. "We all know that you care very deeply for Larka." He was referring to my solitude these past months when we had all thought that she was dead. "But think of this—she does not remember _anything_." The look in my Dragga's eyes told me what his words did not.

"You mean the Sight. But—"

"No. Don't talk about it. If she cannot remember, then she finally has a chance to lead a normal life. Think of it, Kar—a life without that gods-forsaken curse." I did think of it. I thought about it all of the time. I had thought of it ever since I had become a member of this pack. But Larka and the Sight were one and the same. I could not think about one without thinking of the other. A world without the Sight was a world without Larka. "What if—"was a long and treacherous path of thought, one that could drive a wolf crazy. I avoided it whenever possible now. I did not need to experience _that_ again.

"Huttser, she cannot just forget who she is. The Sight is a part of her. What will happen when she bends down to drink and she sees Morgra's face instead of her own reflection, or Bran's?" Huttser growled as I continued. "She could be out hunting and things will start happening like they did when she first discovered. She might even—"

Huttser was very angry now. I had forgotten how much he really detested the Sight. After we had told the new cubs the tale of our pack, Huttser had been more than happy to forget about it. The Sight was foreign to him, something he could not fathom. It frightened him. "Kar! You _will not_ speak of this in front of my family! Am I clear?" And there it was. _His_ family. I was back to being an outsider again. We all saw the slip the moment it happened, but nobody said anything. I really wasn't upset about it. After all, Huttser was angry, and when Huttser was angry he said things that he did not mean.

What did upset me was the way that he was dismissing _my_ chance at a normal life. If Larka never remembered her past, how could she remember me? _Are we to never be together?_

"Huttser," growled Palla. "We do not need to have this discussion _now_." She threw a pointed glance towards the cubs who were huddled together at my left. They had never before witnessed the full extent of their father's temper. _If only they knew_, I thought to myself darkly. Palla raised her head in dominance, showing that there would be no arguing with her. "We will continue later. For now, Kar, I think that it would be best if you would try to make Larka feel as comfortable as possible. If she needs her space, give it to her." The look she gave me made my head lower to the ground over of Kipcha's frail body. My heart sank for some unknown reason. "And _you_," now glaring at her children, "will say nothing to her of the story that we told you. Alright?"

The children nodded their heads as one eager ball of fluff. Then Larka spoke up. Not _my_ Larka, the beautiful white one outside that I could not wait to rejoin. The grey Larka spoke. "Mother, but what about…" The little one trailed off suggestively, as if she had a point but was unsure of how to make it.

"What about, what, Lar—oh, I see," mumbled Huttser. "Yes well this does pose a problem."

"Huttser, we just won't acknowledge her as our daughter. She is grown anyways, and would be off with her own pack. We've let her go before." Huttser's head snapped back towards his mate in surprise. Her eyes held all of the strength and sadness that came with being Drappa. "This time we will at least be near her."

"Then why is she here?" I asked. The family turned their questioning gazes on me in silence (Larka must have finished eating). I tried again.

"She wants to know why she is here, and for that matter what _here_ is. If she is not a birth-member of this pack, then why do we tell her she is here?"

Huttser left his place at Palla's side and padded towards me until he was standing directly over me. Looking up at him made me feel like a cub again. He chose his words very carefully and spoke quietly. There was no need, though, for I could tell from the slow and steady breaths coming from outside of the den entrance that Larka had fallen asleep again. I would always know what she was doing…

"You, Kar, are her mate. I am sure that you can come up with an acceptable story for her."

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**I wanted this chapter to be longer, but I need to cut it here. I hope you liked it and let me know what you think. If you are freaking out about what I am doing to the story, please don't. It will make sense to you later. All I can say is that Larka can't be Larka without her memories.**


	3. Ch 2

**Chapter 2**

_"Sometimes you picture me; I'm walking too far ahead_

_You're calling to me; I can't hear just what you've said_

_You say go slow; I fall behind_

_The second hand unwinds._

_If you're lost, you can look and you will find me_

_Time after time."_

_**- Time After Time, **_**Quietdrive**

**Larka**

This time there was no doubt in my mind what woke me late in the night.

Meat.

My eyes shot open at the prospect of another meal. Not three feet away was what I can only describe as half of a deer. The latter half, too.

_My favorite part_, I thought to myself. I slowly got to my paws, shifting my weight onto my back legs until my lolling tongue came in contact with the ground. Shifting forward I raised first my left, then my right leg straight out behind me. Fully satisfied with the condition of my joints I tottered over to the carcass. I was more than ready to eat.

It's not that I was ungrateful for my earlier meal. I would have gladly eaten a garden snake had one slithered by, but in my condition I'm not sure I could have caught one. No, I could not complain about the two fat hare I had devoured earlier. Although in my mind the strange male had some explaining to do. For instance: why in the name of Tor, Fenris, and Sita was I here? I deserved an explanation. Didn't I? Especially after that little _incident _yesterday—today…whenever. He really could not expect to have placated me with a few measly Lera. Right?

Shaking my head for allowing myself to become so easily distracted from my meal when I still knew nothing about what was going on, I turned my attention back to the herla. It was fresh. The pool of blood on the ground just barely steamed in the chill night air. I sniffed it and found that the strange male from before—what was his name? Rar? That name sounded familiar—had not felled the creature. There were two distinct scents mingling with the smell of the meat, but I decided that they had obviously left the kill for me. I may as well enjoy it. After all, why else would you leave half a herla beside a starving varg?

I really did try to hold myself back this time. The hare had not held me over for as long as I would have liked, and it would have been nice to savor the tender meat. However, as soon as teeth met loin and those savory juices began caressing my pallet, I am pretty sure I was once again lost to the bloodlust. I tore into that carcass as if there were no tomorrow. _But really, who knows when it comes to me_.

That thought was enough to put a halt to my actions. Why had I thought such a thing? And where was this deep sense of foreboding and dread stemming from?

Quickly realizing my mistake I scanned the area, searching for the presence that must be provoking my natural fighting instinct. I sneezed tiny bits of herla from my nose in an attempt to better clear my senses. That was when I spotted him. He was to my right, lying in wait for me on the other side of the den entrance. Sleeping.

A long minute slid by, the only sound the soft gurgle of the stream that ran near the den. When I finally resumed eating I began at a much slower pace. All I had left was to strip the powerful hind legs of the fleshy meat. Lying down with a flank between my forepaws I kept a steady gaze fixed upon the male. I watched his every movement. Any time he so much as twitched an ear I noticed. Not a hair on his tail stirred and was not caught by my keen sight.

By the time I had finished eating I was in great need of water. I felt as if my throat were on fire. As satisfying as a fresh kill is, a proper meal cannot be eaten without a nice long lap from a cool stream. Blood is just too salty. I padded down to the stream and lowered my blood-stained muzzle to the shallow surface. I looked at the water expectantly, as if waiting for something to jump out at me. When nothing did, I lapped at the cool water until my belly ached. Once I had finished I padded back up the hill towards the den. I found a tree not far off to lie under and plopped myself down, snorting any remaining herla bits from my snout.

I may not have known who I was in the past, but really, what more did I need than this? To have the freedom of the Varg and a full belly—that was more than enough for the present. Setting my questions aside for the moment I raised my head to the wind and inhaled deeply. I allowed my mind to piece together the bits of information that it was receiving from the world around me. More prevalent now, without the distraction of food, was the scent of more wolves close by. Their scent practically enveloped the air, it was so strong. My first instinct was to be alarmed at the fact that I was trespassing on another pact's territory. Then I remembered the meat. It had smelled of other wolves as well. Yes, the scents were similar. They both had a…domestic taste to them? Was that it? There were more scents there too, that I did not recognize.

With my eyes still closed, I could smell that pleasant aromatic mixture that I had come to recognize as the male. He snorted in his sleep. A smirk crept across my features as I thought of how easily it would be for me to slink off into the darkness, right now, and leave this strange pack behind without a second thought. _But no. First, I need answers. Perhaps they can give them to me. I can at least wait until my strength returns before I leave._ Yes. That was a good plan.

The male had called me…_Larka?_ Was that right? An image of a grey cub standing in the snow flashed before my mind's eye. _Well, I am white. I suppose that makes sense._ Opening my eyes, I refocused my attention on the male. He was where I had left him, but now he was between me and the den, faced away from me. His ear twitched.

It was time for some remembering. Hopefully something about this place would re-awaken something from my past. I studied the den entrance. There was a tail hanging out from under a log that hung over the opening, and I briefly wondered if it was one of the wolves who had hunted for me. My head shook in exasperation. _How can you not remember_ anything_? Something has to make sense!_

I growled my frustration and decided to take a different approach. Getting to my feet I took stock of my body. Varg are built for speed, stealth, endurance, and power—everything necessary for survival in the wild. A wolf can last many days without food. By the way that my ribs were prodding at my sides it seems that I had gone quite some time without eating. I stretched each of my limbs, testing them for any signs of weakness. My left rear leg was slightly stiffer than the rest, suggesting that I had somehow injured and healed it. I coiled myself and leapt as far as I could. Yes, my leg pained me a bit, but it was nothing I could not manage.

I looked back to the male, frightened that I had awakened him. No, it would take me howling in his ear to do that. He had not woken up when I was gorging myself earlier, why would he now?

Needing to stretch my legs for a bit, I padded around the area, sniffing at rocks and clumps grass and dirt, desperately hoping that _something_ would stir some memory within me. Nothing. I returned to my comfortable spot beneath the tree and proceeded to bathe myself. I was quite proud of pure-white coat, but it got dirty very easily and was anything but white at the moment. While I was far from being vain about my appearance, I was sure I looked awful. An image of a battered she-wolf flitted through my mind. She was white, like me, but old and scarred from a rough life. I crossed my eyes to get a better look at my muzzle. _No. No scars. Surely I don't look _that_ bad_. When I had finished cleaning the flecks of red from my coat I raised my head and looked around.

The curiosity was killing me, driving me insane. I knew that these other wolves knew who I was, or else they would not have accepted my presence here so readily. Enough was enough.

I padded up to the male, still fast asleep. Deep down I felt that I could trust him, however unorthodox his initial behavior had been. He was lying flat on his back, pawing at the air like a cub. It was sort of sweet to watch, but I needed my answers. I gently nudged his shoulder with my paw. He let out a whine. I bumped him with my muzzle. He whimpered. I flipped him over onto his side and he let out a startled yelp. He jumped to his paws in surprise while I stood there grinning at him.

* * *

**Kar**

"Oh, Larka. It's you." She was standing there, smiling at me, and I am sure that she could hear my heart pounding in my chest. I had been dreaming about the night when the flames had separated us in the forest. This time I escaped unharmed, but had been unable to find Larka.

"So you keep telling me. What did you say your name was again?" I sighed. _She hasn't remembered anything, then._

"Kar. My name is Kar." I looked back over my shoulder to see if she had eaten the meal that her parents had brought back earlier. Yes, it had been reduced to a pile of bones. Good, she needed to get her strength back. I could almost see her ribs sticking out from under her fur. I turned back to Larka and studied her face as I spoke. I was going to need to tread carefully from now on. "I see you finished the deer."

"Yes." Her gaze momentarily flickered towards the den, then back to me. "Who caught it?" I couldn't help but notice that she seemed so much more relaxed than when she had woken the first time. For that, at least, I could be grateful. Deep down, although I tried to tell myself that I was not, I could not help but be hopeful.

"Huttser and Palla went hunting earlier today. They thought that you would be hungry when you woke up," I edged. Huttser and I had spoken privately once we had safely guided the curious cubs away from the den (and their sister) to the Meeting Place that day. He had taken some convincing, but in the end the Dragga and I came to an understanding: we would not tell Larka anything. If she asked us a question then we would answer truthfully, but ultimately regaining her memory was going to be up to her. This way Huttser and Palla would still be able to claim Larka as their daughter, allowing us to avoid lying as little as possible. As would it negate the need for me to claim her as my mate, no matter how much I may want to.

"Who are they? Please, tell me why I am here." The pleading in her voice pained my heart. "I remember things, things I must have learned when I was younger, but I don't know who taught them to me. I have no memory of you, and yet I feel safe here," she stopped herself, as if she had said something that she not meant to. Larka felt safe here? With me? _Well why shouldn't she? We are her family, after all_. My heart was pounding again. She lay down where she was standing and I followed suit. This was going to take a while.

"I suppose I should just tell you everything." But I couldn't. Huttser and I had agreed that we would NOT tell her everything, and especially not _that _everything. This was getting to be too much for me to handle. Setting those thoughts aside, I recalled the answer that I had carefully rehearsed while she was sleeping. "I was brought to your pack as a cub. Your parents, Huttser and Palla, took me in and raised me alongside you and your brother, Fell. We used to play together, the three of us." I could see that she was trying very hard to remember, and it hurt a little that she couldn't. "The rest of that pack is gone now, but for your parents, Fell, and the two of us. Fell went off on his own a few moons ago to live the life of a Kerl," I tried to hide the shudder that threatened to surface as I recalled my own time spent in that manner. A pack life was much more to my liking.

"Palla has given birth to four fine, healthy cubs since you've been…gone." Larka tilted her head and cocked her ears, showing that she had caught my slip-up. I continued in hopes that she would quickly forget. "They're still young, though. I think that you will like them. You always liked children." I kept the 'human' part to myself.

"What are their names? The cubs?" she asked thoughtfully. I really needed to distract her. Well, this would do it.

"They were named for the lost members of our pack. Skop, Khaz, Kipcha and," I paused. I really didn't know how to say this to her. But someone had to do it. It may as well be me. "And Larka."

She yelped her surprise. "Larka? But I thought that—"

There was no stopping how utterly remorseful I sounded when I spoke."Yes. We thought you were dead." I allowed her time to process what I told her. This had to be difficult for her, but this was so much harder on me. My heart was breaking. I longed only to leap to her side and rub my nose into the sensitive area under her jaw as I once had—to tell her everything was alright. To lick her strong muzzle and calm her nerves. A whimper escaped my jaws. "You were gone for so long, and…" What else could I say, without revealing anything about Harja, about her gift? 'I'm sorry,' seemed a bit out of place. I felt as if I were being torn in two, the way my loyalties were pulling me.

"How long was I away?"

I thought back to those last few days I was able to spend with her before the world turned upside-down. "It feels like so many years have passed. The last time we were all together was towards the end of last summer, nearly a year ago.

Larka shook her head. "But if I was gone so long, where was I?"

This question I could answer truthfully. "Honestly, I've no idea. I can only assume that after you were hurt you took time to heal yourself, and the rest of the time was spent returning here. Although I'm not sure how you did return, if you can't even remember where here is."

She was nodding along with me. "That makes sense, though. My leg is a little stiff, so I must have broken it. How did it happen?" I winced before I could stop myself, and Larka noticed. It was if she was trying to memorize every hair on my body, she was watching me so closely. I was unsure how to react under her intense scrutiny.

"You fell. There was no way to get down to your body, and there was so much blood that we just assumed…I'm sorry. That I wasn't there for you," I tried my best to convey my sincerity. Apparently I was successful because Larka's eyes smiled back at me.

"It's alright. I'm fine now. I just wish that I could remember. I feel bad not knowing you all while you take care of me." Again her gaze turned to the den. It lingered on Huttser's tail, which was hanging out of the opening. We had enlarged the badger set to fit five adults, but the Dragga slept at the entrance to protect the rest of his family. To him, my being right outside was not enough to protect the cubs from their sister. Her head whipped back around and those yellow eyes that I loved so much fixed upon mine. "Would you tell me something?" she asked in a hopeful voice.

"Tell you what?" I would tell her anything she wanted to know, she must know that by now.

"I don't know. You said that we played together as cubs. Tell me something about when we were younger. I keep hoping that I'll remember something important enough to trigger the rest of my memories, but all I can see is darkness. Maybe if you tell me things that we did l will remember." The excitement shining in her eyes nearly made me forget her question. Everything she did, every look she gave me, every flick of her tail, drew me in. Surely I could grant her this request. It was within Huttser's rules—she had simply asked me to tell her a story of when we were cubs. He would not begrudge her that.

"I can do that." Larka looked delighted. I stood up and padded over to her side and began to settle in next to her when I caught a glimpse of her face. She was looking at me with a startled expression, probably wondering why I had closed the distance between us so quickly. While I was more than comfortable lying next to her, Larka still had her boundaries. I was sinking back into our old ways, forgetting that things were different now.

If I got too close too fast, Larka may _attack_ me. Like the other morning. How I had forgotten that escaped me completely.

I started to move away when Larka stopped me. "Wait. It's alright, I just…This is different for me." I stared down into her torn face and had to tell myself that she would bite me if I gave her beautiful muzzle an affectionate lick right then. I lay down in the cool grass, curling my body towards hers. I remained far enough away that we were not touching, hoping to at least please her this way.

"Firstly I should apologize for startling you the other morning. When you arrived the night before, you said my name. I had assumed that you knew who I was. If I had known that you didn't, I would have given you your space."

Larka appeared confused again. "I don't remember that. Under the circumstances, though, I think that I overreacted. I'm sorry." Why was she apologizing? She had no idea who she was, for Fenris' sake!

Wracking my brain, I tried to think of a good story to tell her. Unfortunately, they were few and far between. Whatever I told her would have happened after I arrived and before Brassa died. It could not be about our first hunt, when Larka first used her power, nor could it involve the countless conversations we had plotting against her seemingly mythical aunt. This left the three of us playing very childish games that soon became very repetitive and dull. And even those were very scarce. I turned to the beautiful she-wolf on my left and scrunched up my brow.

She startled me out of my concentrated thought, however. "We were close, weren't we."

I sneezed unexpectedly and looked deep into those yellow eyes that saw so much more than any other varg. How do I answer this one? I shot a glance at Huttser's tail, thumping in his sleep.

"Yes. We were very close. Both as cubs and later on. We've always cared very much for each other." That was not the whole truth, and it was not a lie, either. We _have _always cared very deeply for each other. And it wasn't as if we had ever discussed starting a family before. Outside of my own heart, Huttser was the only one who considered me Larka's mate.

* * *

**Larka**

"Cared…how much?" He had to know that he was making me nervous with all of this talk of closeness. Had I left behind a mate that I was unaware of? I watched him closely as he pieced together his answer.

"Whenever I needed an ear to howl into, you always offered two. I believe I recall you howling into mine a few times, as well." He offered me a sad smile. I wasn't quite sure where the sadness was stemming from, but he had answered my question. _Though what did he mean by that? Were we really only close friends?_

My head lowered to my paws and I realized just how tired I was. Kar had given me a lot to think about, and in the morning I would be meeting the rest of my family. If I tilted my head I could see Kar out of the corner of my eye. He was staring at me.

"What?"

"I'm sorry. It's nothing. You should get some more sleep. You have to meet the cubs tomorrow, and they've been like Fren, keeping them away from you." I chuckled at that. I could only imagine what it would be like to keep four young cubs from disturbing their recently un-dead sister. Kar lowered his head and settled in to sleep right where he was, by my side. Oddly enough, I was now comforted by the fact. First and foremost, wolves are pack creatures and so hate to be alone. Up to that point I had been alone in my mind. Now it seems I had Kar. That cheered me a little.

"Kar?"

He opened the eye nearest me. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry." Barely a whisper in the surrounding darkness, but I knew he heard it. His brow furrowed and his ears went back as if he had smelled something unpleasant. He huffed out a heavy breath before speaking to me in a firm tone, urging me to recognize his seriousness.

"Larka, it's not your fault. Many…_unnatural _events have taken place in our lifetime, and I know that you cannot remember them, but that is not the point. What _is_ important is that you are here, now, and you are with those who love you and will keep you safe. There is nothing to be afraid of anymore. You are home." By this point both eyes were boring into mine, willing me to believe him. His words hypnotized me, and I couldn't help but trust him. I trusted that he would protect me from whatever unknown dangers existed in the world. I trusted that he would help me remember who I was.

This fine grey male, a fitting dragga if never remembered what a dragga should be, took on a whole new light in my eyes. I had studied him before, but I had not had not seen _him_. I had not witnessed his true character. Why he had not yet taken a mate yet was a mystery to me. These thoughts all ran through my mind as I drifted off to sleep.

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"Larka, really, there is nothing to worry about. The cubs are going to adore you," Kar told me in what I assumed was supposed to be a reassuring voice. But really, the cubs were the last thing on my mind. As of yet, I still had to be introduced to our Dragga and Drappa, who just happened to be my parents. I knew that I shouldn't be worried—they had tolerated my presence thus far, and they had hunted for me. Honestly, there was nothing to worry about…

I sniffed the air for what seemed like the millionth time that morning. Kar had felt it would be best if I were to be introduced to the cubs on somewhat neutral ground. He had woken me early and shown me to the Meeting Place, which was a good sprint from the den. Now all we had to do was wait for the Drag – Huttser and Palla to bring the cubs here.

_Ugh. Waiting._

Glancing over toward Kar, who looked perfectly at ease, I shook my head. "I'm sorry, Kar, but it really is not that simple."

His head tilted to the side in confusion. "It's not? What is so complicated about meeting your brothers and sisters?" Oh. He thought I was talking about the cubs.

"The cubs aren't the issue." I paused for a moment, thinking. "Actually, I am looking forward to meeting them. But please try to see this from my perspective: I am going to be re-introduced to the wolves who raised me. Here I am, and I remember nothing about them. At the very least, it is inconsiderate of me. It makes me feel…cold, not remembering anything. They will probably hate me." _In fact, I wonder why you don't hate me…_I looked over to see Kar's reaction.

He was chuckling. _He thought this was amusing?_ How on earth was this funny? I glared at him and a low growl escaped my throat. That caught his attention. He tried to appear guilty.

"Larka, there is something that you must understand about –. " The nearby clamor of excited yips caught our attention. The pack was coming. "Just know that your parents have been waiting a long time to have you back in their lives again…we all have." He said the last part in a low voice, and the excitement of the approaching cubs nearly drowned it out. I cast another nervous glance his way before the cubs arrived. He was wearing that expression again, the one that hinted we had been closer than he had let on. The one where his ears and his tail were raised ever-so-slightly in expectation and his golden eyes stared deep into some unseen part of me.

_That_ look.

Three cubs mounted the hill and cried out in unison, "Uncle Kar!" A fourth cub trailed along behind the others, only raising her head when the others called out. Kar was smiling fondly at the cubs as they planted themselves in a half-circle at his feet. I was sitting off to the side and slowly padded over to the group when Kar beckoned me. Huttser and Palla must have been trying to make this as easy on me as possible by waiting to speak with me until after I had met…my siblings. The cubs looked at me with a mixture of enthusiasm and apprehension written upon their young faces.

Once again I was grateful for Kar's presence.

"Children, this is your elder sister Larka whom you've all heard so much about. Larka, these are your younger brothers and sisters: Khaz, Skop, Larka, and Kipcha." Kar nodded to each cub in turn. My stomach flipped a little when I met Larka's mournful gaze—she had been the straggler of the bunch. Was I the cause of her sorrow?

They were still young, probably just passed their second moon. Therefore they were inquisitive of anything and everything. I would certainly spike their interest.

One of the males, the one with the muddy-brown forepaw, spoke first. "Sister, were you really dead? Mother said that you were." Before I could even think of a proper response, another question was asked.

"Did Tor call you back from the Red Meadows, like Sita?" queried the smallest cub in a timid voice. Her tone suggested she was both excited and frightened by the prospect. I looked to Kar for help.

"Or did Fenris send you back with a message for the living, warning us to mend our naughty ways." _Really, where _did_ they get such ideas?_

Kar came to my rescue just then. He reprimanded them with a soft but firm growl. "What did your parents tell you?" The cubs all lowered their heads dolefully. I looked to Kar, upset that I had been the cause of any familial upset. He winked at me, assuring me that everything was all right. His golden eyes twinkled with amusement. "Actually, you were all wrong. Larka, why she fell from the heavens." We all shot questioning looks at the older wolf, mine more amused than anything. I noticed the other Larka seemed a bit upset by the comment.

"Really, Larka? Did you fall from the heavens?" The other male, the one with the red-tipped ears and tail, seemed somewhat skeptical.

"I don't think so. Although, it would explain how I broke my leg." They laughed at this, and the tension that had been in the atmosphere a moment ago seemed to vanish. Then Kar spoke again.

His face in all seriousness, "Truly, Larka _did_ fall from the heavens." I rolled my eyes at him. He in turn snorted back at me. I resisted the urge to nip at him, instead settling for another glare. "What? Have you never heard the tale of the _first _Larka?"It did not escape my notice how he placed emphasis on the word 'first.' I had no memory of this story, but this did not surprise me. I shook my head 'No' and noticed that the cubs were doing the same.

Kar gasped in mock astonishment. As if our ignorance were too much for him, he shook his head and collapsed to the ground. The cubs, picking up on the signal, all made themselves comfortable as well. Kar looked up at me and a deep rumbling sound began within his chest, gradually increasing in intensity. _Oh! He wants me to join in for the story, too. _For added effect I took my place opposite him, curling up behind the cubs. Our storyteller took a deep breath as he readied himself for his tale.

"Before I begin, I must ask you lot to _be quiet_ while I am talking, so that I don't lose my place." He cast very pointed glances at the more inquisitive of the males, the one with the paw-mark, and at the smaller female. The cubs all giggled, and I even found myself smiling. It made me happy, seeing how much this family got along together. It was something that I had once been a part of, that I wanted to be a part of.

_If only I could remember_.

"It was in the beginning, when the wolf gods Fenris and Tor created the world and so brought light out of darkness. It was after Tor had fashioned the stars to keep her company at night while she hung in the sky to watch over the Varg while they slept. There were more stars than you can imagine, yet Tor knew each of them by name, and was their friend. This was when Varg and human need not fear each other. This was when the great Fren," the cubs grew excited at the name and squirmed where they lie. A stern look from Kar silenced them. He smiled back at me and continued as I silently recalled something of a golden deer pelt.

"…when the great Fren had caught a rain cloud from the sky and disguised himself as a fluffy white sheep. Man had come to the area and food was scare—Fren needed a new way to feed his family. He went into one of the human villages and began stealing from their flocks, bringing the many carcasses home to feed his many cubs. The humans knew that their sheep were going missing, but they did not know why, though, because so clever was Fren's disguise. That was when his luck ran out." He paused and took in the cubs expressions, excited that he had drawn each of them into his story.

"All that day the sky had been bright and cheerful, the only cloud in the sky having been the one that Fren wore on his back. On one of Fren's trips back to the pasture where the humans kept the sheep, the air grew thick and the sky turned black. It began to rain. The cloud that was Fren's disguise turned to rain and melted away, leaving him exposed to the humans. They saw that it was a wolf in their pasture and chased him from the village, vowing to hunt him down for stealing their food. The humans, becoming filled with thoughts of anger and revenge, killed any wolf they saw. This served to remind the wolves that they were not to come near the human dwellings, less they want to be skinned and staked to one." The cubs all cried out at the very thought.

"Uncle Kar? Humans would never really do that to the Varg, would they?" asked the smaller of the females.

"Of course they would, Kipcha. Man is a ruthless creature that loves only to harm the Lera. Now be quiet and listen to the story." He closed his eyes and thought back to where he had left off. While he was thinking his tongue peaked out from his mouth and I could not help but think how very comical he looked at that moment. A gust of air escaped my nose as I laughed, and Kar heard it. He opened his eyes and scowled at me before continuing on with the story.

"Needless to say the Varg became angry with Fren for what he had done. Before, man and wolf had minded their own ways. Now man hunted wolf. Fren was driven from the safety of the forest into a vast desert. Here there were few Lera to hunt and even less water to drink…" I watched as the cubs became caught up with Kar's story. By this point I was quite sure that he was making it up as he went. The way he would pause every so often for "dramatic effect" gave him away.

I knew that I should be frightened, or at least worried, of the fact that I had no recall of my past with this family. It only made sense that I should have some sort of misgivings of feeling so calm and at peace. That was the problem, though. I _did _feel peaceful. Sitting here with the cubs, listening to Kar tell this ridiculous story of a wolf wearing a cloud, I felt _safe_. There was nothing to be worried about. It didn't matter that my past consisted of only a pawful of conscious hours. I was content.

My eyes focused themselves upon Kar as he continued with the story, and I truly studied his features for the first time. I'd been wrong, before, when I had described him as having a grey coat. Compared to me he was grey, but really his fur was more than that. Grey was the color of the sky before a storm. _Larka _was grey. Kar, though, was many colors. He was silver like the small stream fish, with flecks of black that shimmered in the early sunlight. His lower face was a light cream color, and the bridge of his nose was a dark tan. Bits of brown coursed through his fur in small areas near his ears and tail, which would flick from side-to-side when he became excited. Seeing how much he enjoyed the children caused me to wonder why Kar had not yet taken a mate. He was certainly attractive enough…

As soon as I realized that my focus had drifted from the story to the storyteller, I scolded myself and tried once more to pay attention.

"…But Tor took pity on Fren, for though he was indeed a naughty Varg, she knew that his intentions had been pure. She had seen how man had been hunting and making it difficult for her children to find food. Tor felt that what Fren had done had not been completely bad. She thought that he had suffered enough for his actions. One night, while Fren was sleeping, Tor called to the her friends among the stars and threw them to the earth. They burst apart in the sky as they fell, blanketing the ground in a thin, cool layer of white in the night." When I realized where the story was headed, I knew that I would have to thank Kar later.

"When Fren awoke in the morning, he was covered in tiny white flakes. Though the sun beat down upon them, he felt only coolness. When he licked them, he discovered that the flakes melted in his mouth and that his thirst was quenched. In every direction he looked, he saw the whiteness and it was beautiful to him, for he had never seen snow before. He rolled and played in the soft flakes like a cub, and indeed he did feel young again. While he was playing, Tor approached him. In a voice that was gentle like wind in the trees, Tor spoke. 'Fren, I have given this gift not only to you, but to all of my children. This is but the first of many times that you shall have a snowfall, for that is what this is called. But remember this: with each blessing comes its curses.' Fren was so overjoyed that he ran straight home, marveling at the flakes that continued to pour from the sky."

The red-tipped male piped in. "What did Tor mean by a curse, Uncle Kar?"

"I will tell you _after_ I have finished the story. Now stop interrupting!" He winked at me again, to show that he really was not upset.

"When the other dumbstruck wolves greeted Fren, they told him of their hardships while he had been gone. Man hunted them day and night, tracking them wherever they went, making hunting impossible. Fren told of what had transpired while he was in the desert. He told them how the snow would cover their tracks, and mask their shapes so they could hunt."

Kar smiled down at the cubs again. "Fren lead the wolves on a great many hunts, and their bellies were full all winter, thanks to Tor's kindness. In remembrance of that first snow that saved Fren, each first snowfall was named after Tor's favorite star. Larka." He grinned at Larka, who's tail thumped enthusiastically, but the smile he gave me made my heart stop. Not dropping my gaze he addressed the others. "So you see: Larka _did_ fall from the heavens."

"No, I am quite sure that _I _know where Larka came from." Startled by the addition of a new voice, my head whipped around to see two larger wolves standing slightly behind me. We all got to our feet, and the cubs raced in front of me to thei – our parents. I felt Kar come up beside me. Palla chuckled.

"Oh really? And just where did she come from, then?" _Yes, that's what I want to know. _She looked to her mate. By this point I was unsure about which Larka they were discussing.

"Well, I'm pretty sure I know where she came from," Huttser growled as he affectionately licked his mate's muzzle. He pulled back suddenly. "Unless you have something to tell me?" Palla leaned over to playfully nip one of Huttser's ears. He dodged her and began to address me for the first time.

And was interrupted.

Muddy-paw—I really did need to learn their names—spoke up again. "Mother, didn't you say that –. "

"Skop, wait until we are done talking to ask your questions. Why don't you four go play with Kar for a bit?" There was no arguing with the look in Huttser's eyes. It was easy to see why he was Dragga. He had an unmistakable fierceness about him that was clearly defined, yet it was easy to see how much his family meant to him. Palla, on the other hand, was a perfect match for Huttser. She appeared docile, yet the intensity with which she was watching her cubs—with which she was watching me—spoke of a deep-rooted maternal instinct, something that only a fool would dare test.

"Come children, and I will tell you what Tor meant about snow being both a curse and a blessing." He turned to walk away and the cubs raced about in front of him. I smiled happily as I watched them go.

When Kar had gone off a ways with the cubs, Huttser approached me. I was unsure if I was to be received as daughter or stranger. My body stiffened as he raised his head above mine and gave me an affectionate lick between the ears. Palla did the same. I allowed my body to relax some, but I could not erase the bewildered look from my face. Palla noticed this and commented.

"We understand that you must feel…awkward, at best. Kar told us that you do not remember anything of your life before…of us." She offered a sad smile, which I returned. _They seem nice enough. How can I not remember having parents as gentle and caring as these? _I turned to Huttser. It was time to say something.

"Thank you both for hunting for me. It was very thoughtful of you. I was very hungry." _Sure, that was at least a start, _I thought to myself.

Huttser tilted in his head in confusion at my words. "Larka. You may not remember, but we _are _your parents. It is the duty of a parent to care for their cubs." At this he chuckled. "You may not be a cub anymore, but that does not mean that we must forget about you. After all that you have been through, you deserve to be taken care of." What was he saying? That I was incapable of taking care of myself? Surely I was not such a Sikla. My head rose in defiance, and Palla picked up on my mood.

"That is not to say that you need us to, of course. We just want you to know that you should feel welcome here. You have a have a home here. Unless you wish to leave…" She trailed off, obviously saddened by the idea of my leaving. _But where would I go? _These wolves knew me, and seemed to care for my well-being. It only made sense that I should stay.

I shook my head. "No, I will stay." Palla brightened immediately. She must have been worrying about this for some time before she brought it up. "I am hoping that being here, with you, my memory will return sooner."

"How much has Kar told you?" Huttser asked. He seemed strangely anxious.

"He told me about our old pack. That I have a brother who has recently chosen the life of a Kerl. He told me that I was thought to be dead…and that I have come here, nearly a year later. Is there anything else I should know?" Palla cast a nervous glance at her mate, who kept his eyes focused on me, his brow furrowed.

"Those are the important things that you should know. The rest will come with time," Huttser appeared upset about something, but what I could not be sure.

Palla's weary eyes caught my attention. "Is there really nothing that you can remember?" Just as I expected she was hurt by my memory loss. _I should leave to prevent them from feeling more pain, _I thought guiltily.

"Some things are still with me. I can remember lessons that I learned, that you must have taught me when I was a cub. Stories of Tor and Fenris…but beyond that I'm afraid this is all new to me." I looked them both in the eye, trying to convey to them how utterly regretful I felt for not being able to recall the wolves who raised me.

Huttser caught me off guard by growling his approval. "You know the important things, then. You can still hunt and fend for yourself." I nodded my head, silently wondering at draggas and their practicality. "Good. Palla and I need to hunt for the cubs. Do you feel up to joining us?"

He was inviting me hunt with them. While it would be nice to spend time with—I forced myself to think it—my parents, my nerves were running rather thin right now. More importantly, I would probably just slow them down in my current state. No, hunting would be a bad idea. I needed rest.

"Actually, I was hoping that I could spend more time with the cubs. Kar told us a story this morning and I did not have much time to properly answer their questions. I could stay and watch them, and Kar could go with you, if that's all right?" I did not really want to get rid of Kar as well, but thought I would be slightly more comfortable that way. It would also be unfair of me to deny them another hunting partner.

Huttser and Palla engaged in a silent discussion. I was not hurt by their indecision. Although I was their daughter, I still was not the daughter they knew. The cubs were young, and Palla was still extremely protective of them. She was asking if Huttser felt that they would be safe with only me to protect them. It seemed that he did.

"That sounds fine. We caught the scent of a wildcat not far from here a few days before you came. We won't be long." With that Huttser made his way over to Kar and to tell him they would be leaving. I watched them speaking to the cubs, and every so often a head would turn my way. Palla came up beside me.

"How are you doing?" The question confused me. I had not really given it much thought, the fact that anyone else may care. I was more concerned with being a nuisance than anything. Had I given myself away? As I saw the concern reflecting from Palla's eyes I was struck with the idea that this pack – my family – may truly care for my well-being.

Deciding honesty was best, "A little overwhelmed, actually. I hadn't expected things to turn out like this."

"What do you mean?"

"When I first woke up and realized that I had no memory of my past, my first thought was that I was in another pack's boundaries. I thought I needed to get away before I ended up fighting with anyone. I was scared. Then I was so readily welcomed by the pack I had feared. None of you have treated me as an outsider." My head lowered with the weight of it all.

"Larka – you're family! Of course you are welcome here!"

"But Kar told me that I was gone for over a year. You thought I was dead, for Tor's sake! And now it's as if nothing has happened, but for the fact that I can't recall a Wolfbane-cursed thing!" Palla's eyes widened with my cursing, but then she calmly smiled at me with all the love and patience of a mother. It made me want to cry.

"Larka, we don't expect anything of you. None of us do. Your life has been…burdened, by unnecessary hardships." There it was again, that talk of _something _that happened before. Kar had mentioned it while Huttser had avoided it altogether. "Perhaps this is a chance for you to start over, to lead a normal life. Your brother, Fell, is still troubled by all that he has seen. He has left us because of it. I fear that his heart may never heal, so great is his pain. But now you are back. I don't want to lose you again." Palla's eyes were pleading with me to understand what she wouldn't tell me.

Huttser called to Palla then, and the cubs raced back to where I was standing. I could hear them bombarding me with questions, but my attention was focused on the three wolves fading into the tree line. My eyes met with a golden pair that winked just before they turned and ran to catch up with their companions. My heart fluttered a bit before I realized that I was neglecting my duties.

"Larka! Are you listening to us?"

"I'm sorry. Now, you said you would like to go to the stream?" The cubs all nodded their heads enthusiastically and turned to race off ahead of me. I snorted angrily, catching their attention. "And just where do you think you are going?"

The four of them looked at each other in confusion. Larka spoke to me for the first time. "You said that we could go to the stream…"

"Did I say that? I thought I remember thinking that I was going to walk to the stream first and check that it was safe. Then I was going to get a drink myself before you all stampede down and suck it dry." Larka and Kipcha giggled while Skop snorted, unamused. "Skop? Do you have a problem with my plan?"

The young cub nodded. "We are Varg. We do not dash about like silly herla. We are swift, and bold, and cunning. We can steal water from the stream, if we have to." The other cubs nodded their heads vigorously in agreement with their brother. It seemed he was the leader of the bunch.

This gave me an idea. "Really? Well then, you shall have to show me how clever you are. I propose a game of stealing water."

"How do we steal water, sister?" I looked fondly at the cub. Khaz. _Sister_, he had called me. Perhaps I really could belong here. The idea was an appealing one.

"You cubs must sneak past the river guardian in order to drink from the stream," I told them in a low voice.

"Will the river guardian gobble us up if she catches us?" Kipcha whispered to her sister. Larka hushed her and turned her attention back to me, eager to begin the game.

I led them down to the stream, sniffing the air for danger as we went. When we arrived I ordered the cubs back up the bank while I curled myself into a tight ball at the water's edge, my tail just barely covering my eyes. This way I could choose whether or not to spy them coming. While I waited for one of them to approach, I thought of how easy it was to just _be_ with the cubs. I did not have to live up to any expectations, meet any ideals with them. I had no idea of who I was, of how I used to behave. With the cubs, I almost felt like a cub again. It was as if I were starting over.

Just as I suspected, Skop was the first to make his way down to the water. I did not worry about playing so near the stream because it was shallow. I'm sure the cubs would be able to stand and the water would just brush their bellies. Skop was followed by Larka, who was much more cautious than her brother. As a result, she was also quieter. I allowed Skop to come within a yard of me before I 'caught' him. Flicking my tail from my face and opening my eyes wide, I cried out in a deep voice, "Away with you, Skop ThunderPaws!" Startled, both he and Larka turned and ran up the embankment.

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We carried on with the game until the cubs were in desperate need of a rest. As none of them had managed to sneak past me, they were worn out and thirsty. And my throat was beginning to ache from shouting so much, as well.

While we were dipping our heads and lapping up the refreshing water, the strangest thing happened.

_Three cubs—one white, one grey, one black—were lying together in the sun. The white cub seemed to be having a nightmare, for it was thrashing about. It woke the grey cub sleeping next to her. After discovering the source of the commotion, the cub nuzzled his friend awake._

"_Larka, are you alright? You were having another nightmare." The grey cub was worried for his companion. It had been some time since she had slept without having some sort of strange dream. Larka never liked to tell him what they were about, though._

"_Yes, I'm alright Kar." She shook her head to erase the images of the nightmare. The other cub snuggled closer to comfort her._

"_What were you dreaming about?" Larka laid her head down on her paws and closed her eyes. Kar placed his head over top of hers, trying his best to protect her from her dreams._

"_It was Morgra."_

The memory ended, if it had even been a memory at all. The strangest part about it was that I could have sworn that I had seen all of that in the water, not my mind. _But was that even possible? Seeing things in water?_ I glanced left and right to the cubs to see if they had noticed anything unusual. They'd already finished drinking and were lying in the grass behind me, waiting for me to finish.

"Morgra," I whispered to myself. I would have to ask Kar about that name later. And had the third cub been my brother, Fell?

"What is it Larka?" called one of the cubs.

"Leave her alone. You know what Father said," reprimanded another.

Someone growled. "Why is it always, 'Leave him alone,' or 'Leave her alone?' We were always told to give Fell his space. Then Uncle Kar, and now Larka!"

"Hush! That isn't fair. They had their right to be upset, and they don't need us bothering them." That was it. _The cubs know! _I spun around, startling Kipcha. I tried to calm myself.

"What were they upset about?" Khaz—who must have been the one reprimanding everyone—gave me a puzzled look, as if I should know. Larka lowered her head, yet she spoke to me.

"Mother and Father told us not to speak of it." She raised her head then, and in her eyes burned a light that I had not seen before. So _this_ was why she was so upset. They had all been told not to speak of what had happened to me, of her namesake. Now it made sense.

"That's alright. If you were told not to, then you shouldn't. Forget that I asked." I tried to smile reassuringly at them, and they seemed to get my message. We made our way back to the Meeting Place. The cubs, tired from the game, all decided it was time for a nap. I relished the peace and quiet. I still needed time to think things over. Here in the quiet spring afternoon under the shade of the oak tree seemed to be the perfect opportunity.

Palla and Huttser had been more than I had hoped for. They really did want me to stay with them. I couldn't understand why they would want me, broken like I was. But then it was never a Varg's place to understand everything.

I enjoyed my time with the cubs. They allowed me to forget that I had no past, because with them it was true. They did not know this 'Larka' that was both friend and daughter to the wolves here. To them…I was simply _me_.

That led me to my memory – my vision – whatever it was. It had to have happened at some point. What Kar had said was true. We were close, but this memory did not hint at our relationship before I disappeared. I wanted to learn more of Fell, but each time he was mentioned a heavy sadness filled the air. _Why was that?_

Lastly, I needed to find out who 'Morgra' was, and why I had been so terrified of her. I was anxious for Kar to return so I could ask him my questions. _Kar._ Why on earth was I so drawn to him? It seemed like he was paying me special attention, but then I was in a special position and really needed a friend at the moment. He also said that we had been _very close_, but what did that mean? Had we been closer than I thought? The way he kept winking at me was leading me to believe so. Perhaps he had always treated me like this, and I was the one ignoring him. I would ask Palla later. She seemed to be on my side about this whole memory ordeal.

I caught their scent coming back through the trees. Waking the cubs, I looked up just in time to see three wolves breaking free from the shadows. The cubs yipped and barked as they bowled over each other on their race toward Palla, who grinned down at them as she began to bring back her earlier kill. Kar was at my side in an instant, the leg of a wildcat dangling from his mouth. He placed it on the ground before me.

"I wasn't sure if you would be hungry or not." As soon as I smelled the meat my mouth began to salivate. "Yes, I thought so. Honestly, are you ever _not_ hungry?" I knew he meant it jokingly, but I glared at him anyways before I tore into my meal. When I had exposed the thigh bone I ripped it away from the rest of the leg with a crack of my powerful jaws and tossed it in Kar's direction. _I don't want him just sitting there and watching me eat. He's giving me that _look _again_. He deftly caught the bone in mid air and began gnawing on it as I finished.

Once I had cleaned myself up I discovered that Kar had fallen fast asleep. _I suppose my questions will have to wait until tomorrow, then_. I settled myself in for the night and silently thanked Tor for my family.

* * *

**Squee! for the long chapter. I hope you liked it.**

**Let me know what you think about swapping POVs. Normally I don't like it, but I don't think I can do this story right without swaps. I will try to keep them at a minimum, though.**

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	4. Ch 3

**A much needed chat between Kar and Huttser, among other things. Thanks for waiting! As always, let me know what you think! Comments are very much appreciated.**

**I'm glad that you all agree that Kar and Larka should be together (or else you probably would not be reading this). Thanks for all of the suggestions, and YES, Fell will be entering the story very soon. I won't say when, though. Only two wolves know when that will be...**

_**wolfgirlnowandforever**_**: You have a very long name! Props for reviewins more than anyone else, you make me smile.**

_**DarkGrayWolf**_**: I read your comment and I very much appreciated it. I'm glad to find a fellow wolf-lover. Fell is pretty awesome (I mean he did get his own book and everything), but I'm still going to have to stick with Kar. He holds a special place in my heart.**

_**mistofulie**_**: Morgra probably won't come back, just to keep my own sanity in tact. Plus, I like the idea of Morgra being DEAD. No offense, but she just needed to die. Although I will keep that idea in mind...**

_**Dragonachu**_**: I really like your name :D Just wanted to say. It just roles off the tongue so well. Oh, and thanks for your comment.**

**The Kerl~

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**Chapter 3**

"_It's foreign on this side,_

_But it feels like I'm home again._

_There's no place to hide_

_But I don't think I'm scared."_

_**- This Side, **_**Nickel Creek**

**Kar**

"She's beginning to remember." I glanced over at the old dragga sitting on my left to gauge his reaction. We were watching Larka play with the cubs as Palla rested. Huttser shook his head, as if this would allow him to forget the conversation we were having. "No, Huttser, you need to listen to me. Larka has been asking questions. We knew this was going to happen. So far she's only wanted to know about Fell, but there are names that she remembers." I caught Huttser's reluctant gaze, willing him to see the seriousness of the situation. "Huttser, she asked me about Morgra."

His eyes sprang open before instincts took over. Growling erupted from the back of his throat. I growled back softly, hoping that he would stop before drawing Larka's attention. "What did you tell her?" he asked once he calmed himself enough to speak.

"I told her that Morgra was Palla's sister, and that she was thrown from the pack after killing a pair of cubs. Larka only remembers fearing her, so this seemed enough…for now. Huttser, what's going to happen when more memories come back? I won't lie to her."

His head drooped. He knew I was right, but he was too stubborn to accept it. "Kar, I don't want to lie to Larka either, but we talked about this. We agreed that this was best for everyone."

"No Huttser. This was your idea. While we agreed with you to an extent, Palla and I wanted to tell her everything the moment she came back. _You_ are the one who said that we needed to keep her in the dark." He wanted to interrupt me, but I would have none of it. I was too angry to listen. "Huttser, please. Larka is your daughter. Can you meet my gaze and tell me that seeing her this way does not bother you in the slightest?"

He snorted in annoyance and turned to glare at me. "How could you think that I would enjoy seeing her like this? She's barely spoken five words to me since that first day, and that was nearly a week ago. She is pleasant enough, but it's as if she's frightened of me. You of anyone should know that I would give anything to have prevented any of this from happening. Larka has seen enough darkness in her life. And to have Fell back…" Huttser's shoulders drooped under the weight of his sigh. "But the truth is, Kar, that there is nothing we can do now to fix the past – not you, nor I, not even Fenris himself. The past is the past. From it we learn how to live our futures." The Dragga's head rose proudly as he spoke of the Varg lore. "We cannot allow ourselves to be enslaved by the past, Kar." He looked to me with knowing, pleading eyes, but there was still something wrong with his argument.

"What you said is true, Huttser. Though I wonder how Larka is to learn from her past while we continue to shield her from it." He turned his head towards me and looked me over, searching for ulterior motives.

"Kar, what are you saying?" _As if I haven't been telling him since Larka arrived!_ "Do you really want Larka to remember everything that she went through?"

"Please, Huttser!" I growled out. "At least call it by name – Larka has the Sight, and you are frightened by it."

"I am not frightened of the Sight, Kar," he argued back. I raised my brow, intrigued. The old wolf shook his head before speaking in a quiet tone. "I am frightened of what it does to the Varg. Do you remember all of the destruction and terror our kind suffered at Morgra's teeth? Fell forgot who he was and began impersonating the Evil One, he was so far gone. And Larka! Larka tried to make herself into a martyr. I nearly lost both of my children to that thrice accursed 'gift.' If that does not give me reason to fear it, then I do not know what will."

Larka cried out suddenly, and both of our heads whipped around to see what the cause of her outburst had been. Skop stood behind Larka, her beautiful tail clamped firmly within his tiny maw. In the bright afternoon sunshine, I noticed how her coat was beginning to lose the sickly yellow color it had acquired before she returned to the pack. Her ribs were filling out, too. We heard her laugh as Kipcha tried to pin her, followed by Khaz and Larka. After the rocky introduction, I was pleased to see how well the Larkas were getting along.

"You see them, Kar? Do you see my children?" He waited until I nodded. "Can you hear their laughter?" I nodded again, focusing on how happy Larka and the cubs were with their game. "This is why I want this, Kar. There is no greater joy for a father than to see that his children are happy. Palla and I, we…" he trailed off as his tone became remorseful. "…We weren't there for you as we should have been. The three of you deserved so much more from us, and we realize that now, but," Huttser was struggling to say something, but what it was I had no idea. He was never particularly open with his emotions (especially not with me). Huttser was a fighter, like Skop had been. I had always admired how strong they both were. The fact that he was opening to me like this was somewhat disconcerting, actually.

"Kar, what I mean to say is that I want you and Larka to have a normal life. I want your cubs to have a normal life." My ears perked up and my eyes shot open. _He's not saying what I _think _he's saying._ "None of you should know of the pain that travels with curses, or Wolfbane, or...or the Sight. The world is hard enough for a wolf without all of this nonsense clouding his senses."

I sat there by my Dragga's side, trying to collect my thoughts. Unfortunately that took longer than I would have liked. Huttser seemed to have put the conversation from his mind by the time I was ready to speak to him on the rather painful subject. I had not found the courage to bring it up before as it was more than a little awkward. The older wolf started slightly when I finally spoke up.

"Huttser, I…you do know that…Larka is _not_ my mate." He jumped up from his sitting position and his eyes bored into mine, giving me to plenty of time to retract my statement. I couldn't lie to him, though. "It's true." I could feel the moisture building up behind my eyes and I had to look away.

"But I thought that –" he started in a quiet voice before I cut him off.

"Yes, we care – _cared_ – very deeply for each other. If you had asked us about our intentions when I came back from the mountains, I'm not sure what we would have said." I sighed as I caught sight of the quizzical look Huttser was giving me. He needed things howled out loud and clear. "We never told each other how we felt. Larka never did, does not, and probably never will know how I feel for her."

"So then you're not…" he hedged.

"No. I never claimed Larka as my mate, and I don't intend to do so any time soon," I answered dejectedly. I slumped to the ground in a broken heap, no longer able to contain my emotions. _Someone_ had to know how I felt. I watched Larka, my beautiful Larka, bounding in the sunshine. She was running from Kipcha at the moment. Part of me wanted to join in the game of chase and let go of the depression that had taken hold of me.

Then there was that broken, aching part. The one that Huttser could see plain as day at the moment. That part of me wanted to curl up in some dark part of the forest and hide from the joy that Larka brought to my life. Who was I to bask in the glow of her laughter when I was the one lying to her? I could never claim to care for her when I was the one preventing her from learning who she was.

"Kar." I ignored the voice and continued following Larka's movement with my eyes. "_Kar_." This time Huttser used his 'dragga voice,' as I liked to call it. He reserved it for reprimanding the cubs and for times when he needed to express his authority over his mate or me.

Huttser had used this voice on me plenty when I was a cub. I hated it.

"Kar _look at me_." There was no way to defy him. I tilted my head from its place on my paws to look up at his great grey muzzle. "What is the problem Kar?"

I am sure that I gave him the most pitiful look that has ever crossed my features. _Really, why do I feel this miserable? She is right there! Larka is safe! Why do I feel like she died all over again?_ I shook my head and tried to formulate a suitable reply. After a few minutes of silent thought, I hit upon my dilemma.

Looking him square in the eyes, "I love her."

He snorted at me in amusement. "I should think you do. Just look at you!" He shook his head, grinning down at me.

I growled my anger at his misunderstanding. "No, Huttser. You don't understand. I love _Larka_. _That_," I jerked my head in the direction of the white she-wolf, "is not Larka."

"What in the name of Fenris are you talking about? You are talking like Slavka before she left, rambling on in her old age! Do you think I do not know my own cub?" Huttser was a fine dragga, but he simply did not listen sometimes.

"Huttser!" I hadn't meant to raise my voice but my patience was wearing thin. I looked away and locked eyes with the white "cub" in question. She had heard our elevated conversation and looked our way in concern. My body acted of its own accord as she smirked in my direction and winked at me. My ears perked up as my heart started thumping in time with my tail. I was brought back to reality by a cough from Huttser. My sheepish grin was met by a smug one.

"You were saying?" he chuckled. I sighed dejectedly and decided to try something new.

"Huttser, I want you close your eyes." He raised his brow at me, but I waited until he complied. "I want you to tell me what you think of when you think of Larka." I needed for him to understand this one thing.

He grumbled. "Well, I suppose the first thing that comes to mind is the three of you playing as cubs, and Larka trying to prevent Fell from bullying you. She always did stick up for you." Yes, he would think of that, my dear adoptive father.

"What else?" I urged.

Huttser chuckled again, then scrunched his face in concentration. He suddenly opened his eyes and looked at me with a strange expression. "After…Harja," It pained us all to think of the stone citadel, even though Larka was standing just across the clearing. "After Harja, I always saw her with the human cub. I never could understand why she would protect it so fiercely, as if it were her own. He rode on her back, slept at her side. She never let him out of her sight. When she did…well, I suppose that was why she was so protective." He shook his head, overwhelmed by memories. When he met my eyes again I couldn't hold back my laugh. "What?"

"You do realize that your memory of Larka centers largely on the fact that she has the Sight?"

"What? No! I – I just never understood why she would keep a human so close…"

"And the reason the human was there in the first place was because of the –"

"Because of the prophecy, which had nothing to do with the Sight." At this I had to laugh. Huttser was still stuck in his backward thinking. Really, the prophecy had nothing to do with the Sight? _If only Tsinga were still here. She would put Huttser in his place._ She was the one who was finally able to convince our fearless leader of the truth and seriousness of the situation all those moons ago.

"Huttser, you don't truly believe that, do you? If not for the Sight, we would not have had a prophecy to deal with in the first place."

"Perhaps, but what does it matter what my memory of Larka is? What does it matter if I remember her for being different?"_ Finally!_ I sighed a breath of relief.

"That is exactly my point! The Sight is so much a part of who she is that we cannot think of her without the memory including an example of how her life was influenced by it. The same goes for Fell. We love them for who they are, not for who they could be if they did not have their gifts." Huttser snorted, but looked deep in thought. He was thinking my words over. _It's about time._

It wasn't like I did not care for Larka as she was. I wanted to show her even more affection in her current state. She needed comforting. The problem was that she only seemed comfortable around me when I was telling stories to the cubs. She would curl up behind them and get lost in her own thoughts. I don't think she ever listened to an entire story, which led me to wonder why she ever pretended to pay attention in the first place.

I decided that the only way for Larka to feel comfortable with herself again would be for her to regain her memory. All of it. Yes, it would be difficult, but I had no intention of leaving her side.

Ever.

Huttser expelled a deep breath and hung his head. "I won't tell you what to do, because I can see that you won't listen to me." I tried to say something, but he stopped me. "No, just let me get this out. I know I am an arrogant fool, stuck in my ways. I have made many poor decisions, for which we have all paid dearly. That night on the ice is the moment I regret the most. I failed my family that night as father, mate, and as Dragga." He met my eyes, and I could see the pain in them. "I am telling you this, Kar, because I do not want you making the same mistake. If you truly care for Larka, you will do the right thing." I watched as Huttser trotted over to his sleeping mate and curled up next to her. I thought I caught a smile cross his features before he drifted off to sleep.

_Well, Kar. What are you going to do now?

* * *

_

**Larka**

"Larka!" cried Kipcha. "Larka get up!" I glared playfully at her. When Kar first told me that there were two of us – two Larkas, that is – I had been worried that there would be some trouble distinguishing between the two of us. It was amazing how much you could learn from the tone of voice that was used when our names were said. As the case was now, Kipcha was annoyed with me. Her tone expressed her annoyance.

"Kipcha, please," I begged her. Skop appeared out of nowhere and, as I was already lying on the ground, lightly jumped on my back. "Children, honestly, I need a break." Kipcha eyed me suspiciously, trying to figure out whether or not I had any more play left in me or not.

"Do you think Mother would like to play?" asked Larka in a rather devious tone. Khaz, who appeared from where ever Skop had been hiding, thought this was a marvelous idea.

"Yes. She never plays with us anymore. She and Father are always off hunting together…" He trailed off, lost in thought. It was true, though. Huttser and Palla had gone out hunting far more often than necessary lately. All on my account, trying to get me healthy again. I was more than happy to watch the cubs, but I hadn't thought that they would be missing the time with their parents.

"No, Khaz. Your parents are resting. Wait until they wake up to ask them," I murmured through a large yawn.

Skop leapt off my back suddenly. "No. We should wake them up now and ask them to play. That way you can take a nap, Larka." He nodded to me and was off before I knew what was happening.

Springing to my feet I ran after him and pounced, trying my best not to flatten the little dragga. Larka was just behind him, so while I had Skop pinned between my back legs I was able to snatch Larka by the scruff of her neck as she ran by.

The problem was the two that I was unable to stop.

Kipcha pranced over to her – our mother's – still figure and was ready to leap upon her when she saw Khaz signal for her to stop. I could not call for them to come back, because I had a mouth full of Larka, doing her very best to free herself. Skop on the other paw was all but gnawing on my back legs in order to join his siblings. When I saw Kar's form shaking with laughter out of the corner of my eye I could not help but growl in frustration.

Khaz and Kipcha, now perfectly orchestrated, crept around the Dragga and Drappa until they were both positioned by an ear. My eyes widened as I saw that I was helpless to stop them. Catching each others' eyes, they opened their mouths as one and howled. As soon as they heard their littermates Larka and Skop quit struggling and joined in the ruckus.

Palla leapt to her feet at the sudden noise. Huttser's head shot up, and he looked around blearily until his eyes focused upon the cubs before him. His brows furrowed slightly, but was then was overcome with hilarity of the situation and burst into hysterics. Palla, better composed, merely chuckled at her cubs' first attempt at a group howl. It was rather amusing, the way the four of them were yipping rather than actually holding any sort of note. When Huttser calmed a bit he turned his head and caught sight of me, with Larka howling between my teeth and Skop's head poking out from underneath me. He lost it again. _That's it. Next time I let them all wake him up. No more favors._ I spat Larka out and jumped off of Skop. They kept making noise. My tail flipped up as I sniffed haughtily and walked off for some alone time.

I knew he would follow me.

Kar seemed to follow me everywhere. Whether or not he was aware of the fact was unimportant – the point was he did not want me to be alone. A shrinking portion of me wished for solitude for the sole purpose of piecing together my memories. I wasn't sure what was happening to me, but I did know that the images my mind was conjuring were real. I needed time to process what I was seeing. The other, _much_ larger part was grateful for Kar's presence. He provided me with answers that I didn't know how to ask for.

"Larka?" Ignoring his query I shook my head and padded down the slope to the stream. For some reason I did my best thinking there. When I stared into the crystal waters I relaxed and could remember things better. I would never tell anyone, but it was as if I could see things _in_ the water itself. The first time it happened I was sure that I had drifted off and dreamed everything. The fifth and seventh time I sought out Kar. He confirmed that what I was seeing were memories from my past. I conveniently left out the fact that the memories were coming to me from the stream. After all, he would think I was crazy!

When I found the lowest point on the bank I plopped down and stared deep into the water, hoping for another revelation. Kar, still silent, placed himself near my side. The water sloshed against large rocks in the streambed as it went by us. I could see minnows swimming about in the algae. I could hear a heron call far off. This was it, though. I turned to Kar and saw that he was once again scrutinizing my every move. _Can't he even try to hide the fact that he's been staring at me for the past ten minutes?_

"Larka?" he asked me in a fearful voice. Why was he always afraid of upsetting me?

"What?" I snapped. _Oh. That's why_, I reasoned to myself. _It's because you always get mad at him._ "I'm sorry. What is it?"

"I – It's just…You were looking into the water," he fumbled, "and then you became upset. Is everything alright? You didn't s – remember something, did you?" Kar seemed nervous, and Kar was never nervous. Well, except for when he was keeping that _thing_ from me.

He was keeping something from me again.

"No. Why?"

"No reason," he replied quickly. "I just wanted to know what was wrong. By the way, I thought what you did was very sweet, earlier, trying to keep the cubs from waking Huttser and Palla." His eyes twinkled at me, and just like that we both forgot that I was being kept in the dark about something. "They have been really worn out lately."

"I can imagine, what with you never staying at the den to cub watch…" I edged. I knew that Kar did his fair share with the cubs and loved them dearly. Lately, however, he had found something else to consume his time. I still was unsure about how I felt about being the object.

He snorted indignantly, but I interrupted before he could speak up. "No, don't worry; your secret is safe with me," I winked conspiratorially, causing him to laugh. I didn't know why he winked at me all of the time, but it had come to be a joke between the two of us. "I know that you are really just waiting to be left alone with them one day before you fill their minds with terrible tales."

"Oh really? Is that my plan?" he chuckled.

"Yes. Tales of Varg more powerful than ever before. Varg who can speak to the Lera, and who can fly as fast as…" I trailed off at the look that I was getting from Kar. It was a mix between the 'No, Larka, you shouldn't talk about _that_'–look and the 'How in Fenris name did she figure it out?'–look. "Kar? What did I say?"

His face blanked when he knew he'd been caught. _He really needs to work on being subtle if he wants to keep this up._ I pretended that I hadn't noticed his change in demeanor and waited for an answer. "Well, that's, wait…you said a flying Varg?" I nodded. "Why would Varg fly?" He looked confused, but I could see past the question.

"I wouldn't have the slightest idea. This is your story. You tell me."

He decided changing topics again would be best. _Whatever keeps his den dry_, I thought to myself. "Larka? When you remember things…What exactly do you see? In your mind, I mean," he added quickly. What was he getting at? _Does he know? He can't know! _I reigned in my panic and contorted my features to those of deep concentration. What could I tell him? "Do images pop into your mind…or is it different?" That was it! Kar thought I was crazy. My one friend, the one person I could tell anything to. He thought I was nutty as an acorn tree. _But how does he know I see things in water?_

"I-I, don't know. I suppose it's a mixture of both. Sometimes I see a face, and then I will remember where I saw that face. Usually I remember you or Fell, and I see myself talking to you…I suppose it is rather difficult to explain. They just, I don't know, happen." What more could I tell him without sounding insane?

He thought for a moment, then answered me. "That makes sense. I'm sorry, I just – You do most of your thinking down here, by the stream?" He waited for me to nod my head before he mumbled, "No, I must be seeing into this. Probably nothing."He sought my gaze again, as if he could find the answers in my eyes. _Perhaps if he would ask me a direct question. Would it be best to just get things out in the open?_ I wanted to confront Kar about what the pack was hiding from me. At the same time, though, I was comfortable here. The last thing we needed was another complication. _But if this would simplify things…_

Making up my mind to ask Kar what was going on, I took a deep a breath and collected my thoughts before voicing my suspicions. "Kar? What is it that you are not telling me?"

His face was impressively blank for once. "What do you mean?"

"I know that there is something about me – about my past that no one will talk about. I want to know what it is." Kar lie there before me, still as a boulder. He was never that motionless.

"What makes you think that we would hide anything from you, Larka?" he asked me in a cold voice. He sounded offended, but his voice was shaking. Was he really so upset with me? Or was he nervous I had found him out?

"Please Kar, I didn't mean to upset you. It is just that…well, the stories you tell me about the old pack are so carefree and pleasant. The things I remember, the things I see…" my voice trailed off as my mind wandered back to what I had seen in the stream the other day. What I had not told Kar about.

"Larka?"

I turned to face him, deciding once again that the truth was best. "Kar I see such terrible things. They are all jumbled together and I don't know what they mean. There is snow everywhere, so much I want to drown in it. I see fire burning everything in its path. And when I look into the stream," I paused, unsure of what to tell him.

"What, Larka? What do you see in the stream?" He was looking at me more intensely than before, hanging on my every word.

"I see Fell, in the water. He's trying to break through the surface, but he can't get out. Then he washes away with stream." I shook my head, trying to rid it of the scene of death that kept replaying over and over again. "What does it all mean, Kar? Why was I not told any of this?" I sniffed, trying to cover my sudden despair.

"You really see all of that?" he asked quietly. "When you look in the water?" I caught the slight difference in wording, and Kar noticed my change in expression.

"What – "

Kar turned his gaze towards the other side of the stream, shaking his head. "I – I don't know what I should tell you. I'm not sure what you should know." There was that hopeless look in his eyes again. I needed to help him.

"Please, Kar. I want to know what happened before I went missing – why I went missing. I need to know everything so that I can be myself again. With the few jumbled memories that I have, I feel more lost than I did before." He nodded, and I took this to be a good sign. Pushing my luck I crawled forward so that we were lying side-by-side. Giving him an affectionate lick on the paw, I urged him forward.

"Larka, before I say anything, I just want you to know that I – we – never meant to hurt you. We kept this from you in order to protect you. We wanted you to have a chance at a normal life…"

"What do you mean? Everyone keeps acting like there was something wrong with me before."

"No! Different, yes, but not wrong. Larka you, you…" I turned away, catching a glimpse of the clear stream again. The colors began to darken, as it did when I saw the images from my past. I concentrated hard upon the swirling blackness until I was met with the sight of my brother, Fell. I knew it was him by his black coat and the fleck of green in his eye, though something was different than the other times I had seen him. This Fell was older; no longer a cub. My eyes opened in wonder at the image before me. Never before had I seen something that had not already happened.

Suddenly Fell was running through the trees with all the speed and strength of the Putnar. He was searching for something, and he was getting closer to his goal.

The blackness swirled again and I saw two wolves lying along a shallow stream. The white one was easy enough to recognize. The grey wolf in the water leaned over licked the other's paw at the same moment that Kar leaned over and licked my paw to get my attention.

I leapt to my feet, growling, ready to fight Tor-knows-what. Looking around me I saw Kar, still on the ground, slightly taken aback by my actions. _I've done it again. Why do I always overreact like that?_

"Larka?" He asked slowly, trying to draw me out of my thoughts. "Larka, what did you see?"

"I – I…" I was trying to devise a cover story, but nothing came to mind. Kar was the story teller.

"I know you saw something in the water, Larka. I can see the truth of it in your eyes. Please, I want to help you."

"How…How did you know that I see things in water? Did you see it too?" I looked at him suspiciously.

"No. I didn't see anything. Only you are able to do that." I was surprised at his bluntness. I had thought that seeing moving pictures in streams was a tad bit abnormal and warranted more abrasive confrontation. "Well, you and Fell can." I nodded, but remained standing. I was too agitated to lie down. _Fell has this power as well?_ They really have been keeping me in the dark.

"So then, is that what everyone was _not_ talking about? I can, what, see the past? But no, that's not right. What I saw just now…"

"What did you see?" I didn't want to tell him, but when I looked into his eyes my doubts about him vanished. Kar would not laugh at me. Kar wanted what was best for me. Besides, how could our friendship continue when we were both keeping secrets from the other?

Taking a deep breath of preparation, I told Kar what I had seen. Everything. Starting with the first and ending with the two of us lying on the bank just then. His only source of commentary was the occasional nod when he knew what I was referring to. It was nice having someone to talk to.

* * *

**Kar**

"And then I saw you trying to get my attention…which you did. I'm sorry I jumped like that, but I was frightened."

"It wasn't my intention to frighten you. I've never actually seen you…you know, _seeing _things, and I guessed that it was happening. You just didn't know about it…"

"Are you going to tell me why I _see_ things?"

"Would you like the short or long version first?" She was going to hear all of it eventually, but I was unsure of how anxious she was to hear _everything_.

"Just…Tell me what you kept from me. What happened to me? Why can I look into the water and see the past?"

"I'll tell you, but I want you to sit down first. It will take some explaining, and, I don't want you to become upset again." Larka growled, but she sat down.

Thinking quickly, I tried to collect my thoughts. 'If you truly care for Larka, you will do the right thing.' That was it. I had to tell her everything. She needed to know. We had been unfair to her by shielding her from her own past, no matter our initial intentions. Looking into her sharp yellow eyes I could see that this was the only way to have my Larka back.

"I told you about Morgra. Have you remembered anything else about her?"

She shook her head. "No, just that any time her name was mentioned I was scared. I don't know why, though. You said she was a cub-killer."

"I also told you that your parents raised me from when I was a cub. Palla's brother Skop was a member of my pack, and he brought me here after…after Morgra destroyed my pack." Larka gasped, and I realized that what I said was wrong. Morgra had not actually been there. "Morgra was, I don't know, _collecting_ cubs, and she sent her Night Hunters after my pack. They killed my parents and took my brothers and sisters. I had wandered off from our Meeting Place. Skop found me and brought me here." Larka was shaking, but she had to hear this.

"When we got here, Morgra had already tried to join your pack. She 'cursed' you all because Huttser kept turning her away, and then the pack left to go find Brassa's sister the fortune teller. Tsinga told you that you had the Sight – that's why you can see things in water – and about the prophecy. After that was when – "

"Wait. A prophecy? About me?"

I nodded and crawled closer to Larka. When she did not object, I continued. "I don't know where it came from, but there has been a tale, a prophecy, handed down about a white she-wolf and a man-cub, and…"

"Bran," she whispered. This was the first time that Larka had mentioned the human since her return. She was silent, lost in thought. I waited for her to elaborate but nothing came.

"Do you remember Bran, then?"

"Bran was a member of our pack…and he was killed. But we called the man-cub Bran. I thought we should give him a name. He was more Sikla than Dragga. The poor thing couldn't even feed himself. We called him Bran because of that." She looked at me then. "Isn't that right?"

"Yes, that's right." _Time to press my luck._ "Do you remember how you came to be with Bran?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Yes! I remember! Tsarr and Jarla stole Bran from his home below the Stone Den. They took care of him until Skart helped me find them."

"And when was that?" My tail thumped; I was getting excited now. If she remembered this much, she may be close to fully recovering her memory.

"…After the fire…" She gave me a pained look and I felt a tightening in my chest. "Fell disappeared through the ice. I ran off when Mother and Father started fighting, and you followed me. We couldn't find food, but then you stole a pig for us. The humans came then and lit the forest on fire. That was when Skart found me and took me to Tsarr." Her eyes were wide and she was staring off into the distance again. We could hear Huttser playing with the cubs over the rise. Larka shaking her head brought me back to the present.

"What about after finding Tsarr?" Before was important, but the harsher events happened after that. She cringed at my words. "I guess I can take that as a yes. So then…"

"Yes. I can remember everything. Everything. Kar?" She spoke in hushed tones before meeting my eyes again. "Oh Kar!" she cried, overwhelmed by the onslaught of memories and emotions. Throwing herself to the ground Larka covered her face with her paws. I couldn't stand it any longer. I inched my way over to her side so that we were touching and gently licked between her ears. She whimpered and nuzzled up underneath me for comfort. I was bursting with uncontainable joy. _Finally, after all this time, I have my Larka back!_

Larka scooted closer to me until her side was flush with mine, our bodies drawing warmth from each other. I hugged my head around hers much like the night of her return, drawing her further under me. This time, however, she snuggled into me instead of fighting the closeness. _She knows who I am_, I thought happily. The last thing that I wanted to do right then was sleep, but as I heard her breathing deepen I knew that she deserved a rest. She had earned it after her full day. _Besides, there will be time to talk later. _Wishing her sweet dreams my tongue shot out and stroked the soft fur of her muzzle. I could feel rather than hear her contented sigh.

My own sigh rumbled out as my eyes closed. I allowed myself to succumb to the weariness I felt from the exertions of the day's hunt. The last thing I saw was the beautiful white fur of my Larka blurred in with the clear water of the stream. I was visited that night by dream-Larka, who had yet another message for me. This time around I was able to act on her advice, not that she came with much to offer.

"_Kar? Do you remember me?"_

"_Of course I do, Larka. How could I ever forget you?"_

_Dream-Larka snorted her amusement. "I should think it obvious. Don't you remember what I told you the last time we spoke?" I turned quickly to nibble an itch on my leg before nodding._

"_Yes. Every time I see the moon I think of you. It got to be quite depressing, actually. Maybe that's why Fell left…"_

_Larka chuckled. "No Kar, that isn't why Fell left. But do you remember what else I told you? What I told you for the next time around?" Suddenly Larka was a swirling mist _(I don't know how that happens, but it was a dream and she was mist) _and she surrounded me, but I could still hear her voice speaking to me, echoing one word. "Remember."_


	5. Ch 4

**Here's the little teaser – sorry it took so long. My computer is alive again, though! iTunes is still down for the count. Not important, but depressing nonetheless. What you really want to know is this – I had a question about Slavka, and I am glad that you caught that! I kind of, sort of, may have dismissed her presence in the pack in an earlier chapter by saying that she went crazy and left (.A.K.A. Slavka got old and went off on her own to die.)**

**Sorry about that.**

**This may have been premature, but she's been through a lot and quite frankly she just needed to go away. Alright? Anywho, I will address her departure again to further clarify for those of you who were a bit confused by this.**

**Happy Hunting!**

**The Kerl~

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**Chapter 4**

"_It's a beast,_

_He's got fangs – razor sharp ones;_

_Massive paws, killer claws for the feast._

_Hear him roar, see him foam,_

_But we're not coming home 'til he's dead,_

_Good and dead!_

_Kill the beast!"_

– _**The Mob Song,**_** Beauty and The Beast**

I lifted my head to the moon and cursed its very existence. How in the name of all that is Varg were we to track a ghost when this thrice accursed night-sun was proclaiming our position for all to see? Surely there must be at least one willing cloud in the sky who would keep our cover. Currently I was sitting alone in the largest shadow I could find, awaiting word from the pack. Three months had passed and yet still no sign of the fiend. The Balkar had reformed, adopting the old name once more.

After all, "Night Hunter" seemed a fitting title for one hunting Wolfbane.

We were no longer the fighters who had lived tooth and claw for Tratto, the poor devil. Nor were we the same pathetic fools we had been of late, drunk on Morgra's quest for dominion over the Lera. Having suffered heavy losses in the battles of the past year, our numbers were far fewer than when the crazed she-wolf managed to ascend to the top of our ranks. Some had decided to _domesticate_ themselves, as we liked to call it, and set about claiming the then unclaimed territory to begin packs of their own. To start families and protect the boundaries and other such nonsense. Of the six Balkar packs Morgra had taken control of, eight of us remained, finally committed to a true cause for the first time in our lives.

The Balkar were known throughout the mountains and forests alike as ruthless males, "The Fighting Dragga, First Among the Putnar." In the beginning this had not been the case. True, we had been granted entrance into the pack because of our thick hides and sharp teeth. We had each joined for our own individual reasons, though. Some were Kerl, seeking companionship; others were seeking revenge. Some simply found they had no other place in this world. Whatever our reasons for joining the Balkar, the black wolf was a threat to us all. We knew more than anyone just how awesome Wolfbane's wrath could be when provoked.

As a cub you are taught to send praise to Fenris and Tor. Your nurse tells you the stories of Sita when you are old enough to understand what her sacrifice meant to the Varg. As an adult it is your choice whether you remain devout in your prayers or shrug off the stories as merely that. Personally, faith never set well with me. When times were difficult I would find myself looking to sky, silently pleading with Fenris for guidance. When times were good I attributed my fortune to all that the well-honed body of a Putnar could bring me. Why believe in something you could not sink your teeth into? Then again, where was the harm in asking for help now and again?

Wolfbane was always a different matter, though. While Fenris and Tor had always seemed as if they _could_ exist, our demon god had never held any real credibility in my life. Wolfbane was only a story invented to scare cubs into obeying their parents and den mothers. He was not a real character.

Until Morgra.

Menduvlad had been of the opinion that this…this _thing_ had been a creature of our late leader's creation. When news of "Our Lord's" return became common knowledge, we looked to Morgra for an explanation. The Dark One would save us, lead us to victory against the white wolf. She had spun a web of falsehoods so tangled we had no choice but to lose ourselves in them.

It was safer that way, anyhow.

As when we were children, The Evil One lurked about in the darkness. We could sense him easily enough, but he remained silent as a shadow. Some spoke of Wolfbane's Winter – a Sikla's notion if I ever heard one. How in the name of all that is right with this world could one change the elements?

That was when he first came to the pack. Later, after we began to question his presence and his motives, odd…occurrences, I suppose one would say, began to happen. Whenever one of our number spoke ill of our overlord, we were immediately set upon by some severe form of punishment.

Wolves are simply not capable of perfect vision one moment, only to find themselves possessing eyes whiter than a cloud the next instant. It is unheard of.

It is not _normal_.

At Harja we finally came face-to-face with our tormentor. He who used us as mere playthings, as a cub would a squirrel. This wolf we had feared so was a figment of our fear and our imagination. We had allowed this sadistic demon such power over our emotions, he actually _believed_ himself to be the Evil One.

No more. Now we only wished for peace. Harja cleared our minds, allowed us to see what Morgra had done to us. We wanted fulfill our missive and protect the Varg from themselves. No one wolf should possess such power over others. The Greater Pack had been disbanded because of this. While so much of what we had believed in had been a lie, we knew one thing: this black wolf _did_ have power, and he was not afraid to use it to his advantage.

For this reason alone the remaining Balkar had assembled to find and destroy the wolf called Fell.

"Brak." I turned at my name, shaken from my musings. I stepped from the shadows into the moonlight as another approached cautiously. Hopefully he brought the news I had been so desperately awaiting.

"Yes, Vantr? What is it?" While I had been elected acting Dragga of our pack, I kept Vantr close to my side. He would be the first to challenge my authority and fight me for leadership.

"Brak, we found her." He shook his head solemnly at my suddenly interested expression. "I wouldn't get your hopes up. We haven't been able to understand a word she has said since we caught up with her." He shook his head again, as if he were trying to rid his mouth of a foul taste.

"Wait – you say that you found her? The others are unaware of your presence?" _This could turn out even better than expected._

"Yes," he sighed. "She was just wandering the forest on her own. It took us some time to track her. Her trail was all over the place, as if she had no destination. Which is why you should speak with her soon. Brak, she left the pack…" he trailed off suggestively. _Oh, the old warrior finally feels her time has come, has she? How interesting._

"Alright then, take me to her." We padded through the trees, sticking to the nearly non-existent shadows in an attempt to remain invisible in the darkness. We were Night Hunters – it's what we did best.

A few minutes' travel brought us to the rest of the pack. They were standing in a circle, guarding a huddled figure in the center. Their efforts were needless, however, for their charge was in no condition to escape her captors. She had the appearance of an emaciated deer, so sharp were her angles. A sickly yellow color had replaced her once radiant white pelt. How she had survived so long on her own was beyond me, but I did remind myself to send a quick prayer of thanks to _someone_ later for our good fortune at finding her alive.

"Don't take them…please don't take them from me," I heard her mumble. Vantr was right. She had lost her mind. I passed into the circle of wolves and stopped only when my muzzle was mere inches from her scarred one.

"Tell me, Slavka dearest, did you leave your pack in good health?"


	6. Ch 5

**I re-wrote this a few times, and I'm still not sure that I like it.**

**You, my readers, are awesome. Not only have you all read **_**The Sight**_**, but you are reading this story. If it makes you happy, then I am happy. Thanks for all of the reviews!**

**The Kerl~

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**Chapter 5**

"_Am I another slave now_

_To the screamin' in my head?_

_Or is it a little strange now_

_How the moment's gone and fled?_

_Oh brother I gotta tell ya_

_That something here is wrong._

_Oh brother I gotta tell ya_

_This place ain't a-what I thought."_

– _**Alien,**_** Thriving Ivory**

**Fell**

It's not that I that I _wanted_ to leave my family, but my leaving would hurt them far less than my staying.

The real truth of the matter is that I despise the life of the Kerl and all that they stand for. No varg in his right mind would choose to live on his own, completely without the comfort and peace comes with living in a pack. But what other choice did I have other than to lead a solitary existence? How unfair would it have been for me to subject my younger brothers and sisters to my unpredictable mood swings? I remained with the pack for as long as I possibly could, but this anger within me ultimately won the internal struggle and drove me away.

I'd been away from them for too long to reintegrate myself back into the pack, anyhow. My parents' hearts were broken by my sister's death, but their new litter was helping to mend old wounds. It was difficult for them to dwell in the past when they had the future at their feet, constantly demanding attention. I was sure the gaping holes in _their_ chests would heal quickly.

My time with the Balkar changed me. They thought me to be the most powerful of the Varg, and I was. Even Morgra needed to draw on my strength to give fuel to her own abilities. I wanted for nothing, yet I was never able to shake the feeling that Morgra, my _mother_, was ashamed of me. While she depended upon me to control her pack of fighting draggas, Morgra kept me concealed deep within the forest. She had said that the others would not understand me – that I was different from them. I was a hideous monster hidden from the world for my own protection.

How kind of Morgra for wishing to spare my feelings.

In the darkness I fended for myself, learning to steal into the minds of the Lera in order to force them to obey me. I toyed with them as a cub would the tail of a squirrel. I told them to fight each other, simply for my own amusement. When Morgra discovered what I was doing she merely smiled and gave me full reign over her pack. My new playthings brought me great joy. Causing them pain was the only way to temporarily release the pent-up anger that darkened my heart. What kind of a monster had she allowed me to become?

Besides all this it was difficult to reacquaint myself with living in the open. I became accustomed to the absolute serenity of the deepest, darkest parts of the forest. Living in the light was not something that I could easily readjust to. The creatures that haunt our dreams are not supposed to frolic in the sunlight with our cubs. They are meant to stalk us in the night and feed our worst imaginable fears.

That had been my role in this mess. Much like Larka's vision, not even in their minds were the Varg safe from me.

Living with my family was a constant reminder of my past transgressions. Living on my own as an independent spirit allowed me the freedom to run from my memories; the freedom to try to forget what I did. Despite the reasons for my leaving, I still retained an immeasurable feeling of guilt. The mournful look in Kar's eyes was not something I could easily forget. Our parting words spoke nothing of the pain we were in, only of the peace we someday wished for. I left my brother in his hour of need to satisfy my own selfish desires. I just _had_ get away. I had to know.

That's why I found myself standing amidst the rubble of Harja with the heavy rain soaking me to the skin, ready and willing to break the promise I made to myself following Morgra's death. It was the only possible solution to my present situation. I had heard the rumors and yet remained true to my word. Mere mutterings in the forest were not enough to move me.

I've heard far worse rumors, after all.

I stood there in the rubble, amazed at the sight before me. _This_ was enough to second guess my decision.

I'd felt it necessary to see the remnants of the disfigured corpse for myself. We left the stone citadel in a time of grieving. All that had mattered at the time was finding a way to reach Larka. Looking down into the chasm, all we were able to discern was the marked blood stained upon the rocks and Morgra's hind legs dangling behind the rest of her body. We believed both of them to have been crushed by the large chunks of rock that fell from the bridge. There had been so much blood... With no way to reach the rocky bottom below, we left the scene of grief to return home and mourn as a family. Since that time another earth spasm had occurred, re-opening the blocked tunnels. The one I had crawled through moments ago was inaccessible when I tried to get through all that time ago…

And here, crushed by the fallen rocks, lay Morgra's broken skull.

Seeing her body in this condition – skeleton crumpled and picked clean by scavengers – provided me with a grim source of pleasure. _It's because of _her, I told myself,_ that my life has turned out this way. She deserves to rest beneath a rock, constantly in pain. It's because of her that I must never use the powers of the Sight again._

Then again, she had been like a surrogate mother to me. However malicious her intent for me, I still sought her approval as I had Huttser's. She told me all that I remembered of Huttser and my family was a dream. I believed her because no one was there to tell me not to. What reason did she have to lie to me? Morgra told me it was my duty to search the minds of the Balkar and weed out those who were disloyal to us. I did it without question. She told me I was horrifying and ugly beyond reason. I accepted these statements as fact.

She told me I was Wolfbane.

I was Wolfbane.

Banishing these thoughts from my mind I began to search in desperation once more, secretly knowing that I would not find what I was looking for. My ears perked forward, desperate for any sound in the silent chasm. My nose was twitching about frantically, but time had wiped the familiar scents from the area. I just needed some small trace, a simple clue. _Is that too much to ask for?_

"She's not here," a voice echoed around me. Instinctively my body froze, thinking I was being challenged for intruding upon another male's land. _But who would choose to live _here_ of all places?_ Craning my head and squinting against the rain I was only able to make out the stranger's profile. He was smaller than I was but still large enough to be a dragga. _I should get out of here._

"Wait there, I'm coming up!" I growled up to the male. This was not a time for calm pleasantries. I needed any and all information he possessed. _And if he is in a less than cooperative mood, we know just how to deal with him, don't we? We know how to take what he will not give us willingly._ Morgra's voice was clear as daylight in my mind as I propelled my large frame through the small opening in the debris of the tunnel. No matter how hard I tried, I felt as though I were still hidden in the forest doing Morgra's dirty work. I was the hideous beast none were allowed to see. No matter how powerful I was, I was still something to be ashamed of. _Good, as long as you know that,_ the voice taunted.

Pulling myself from the tunnel, I made my way to the strange male. Instead of shrinking back in fear from my approach the male instead held his ground. He was vaguely familiar to me, yet I was unable to recall his name. He was in fact a large grey, and he held all the makings of the Dragga. If a fight arose, however, I still had the advantage over him.

"Fell," he acknowledged me in an even voice. For some reason this wolf was not scared of me. _Why not?_

"Yes, I am. Now would you please explain to me who you are and what is going on?" I demanded in an authoritative tone. Realizing I may have offended this male, one who obviously meant me no ill will, I added, "I thought they were only rumors, but I after seeing for myself…" He nodded solemnly and turned his back to me to peer into the chasm below. This was where the bridge had been – where I watched Larka and Morgra fight before the rock broke apart and they were lost.

"They aren't rumors. She's not here." _There. He said it again, but I still don't understand._ "I had expected her to have found you by now, actually." _Found me? What in Wolfbane's name is he saying? Larka is _alive_?_ I growled in agitation at the mere thought. Noticing my discomfort, the wolf began his explanations. _Finally_.

"My name is Rar. I don't know if you remember me," I nodded curtly to acknowledge him and he continued. "Then you know I was a member of Slavka's pack. I believe she joined your pack."

Annoyed by the turn of his story, I snapped. "Yes, she is a member of Huttser's pack. Now please, what has any of this to do with my sister?"

Startled by my short temper, words began to pour from Rar's lips. "Well, he found me, you see. Skart." _Skart? How did he know Skart? _"I can't understand him, but she, Larka, can. I was living with some of the old pack – the rebel pack – not far from here, but I was alone when he found me. Skart showed up with some of her fur in his beak and he wouldn't leave me alone. He kept pecking at me, but of course I had no idea what was going on. I knew that the fur was _her's_, so I followed Skart and he led me here." I gave him a hard look, forcing him to give me the answers I needed. "Larka is alive, Fell. She's not here anymore."

_Is that really all he knows how to say!?_ "Well then where is she?" I snarled ferociously. Rar visibly shrank back in fear, his ears flattened and his tail between his legs. _Alright, time for a different approach._ I turned tail and began searching the base of the cliff until I found a puddle that suited me. It was muddy, and the sky continued its torrential downpour, but those factors had never hindered my visions before. This gods-forsaken place was the very reason I vowed to never again seek out visions in the water. It only seemed fitting that I would break that vow in the same place. Gazing into the muddy liquid with an intense fervor, I sought out my sister's true fate.

_As the image cleared in the water, I knew that what I was seeing was a past occurrence. Larka fought with Morgra upon the stone bridge. It began to crack, then collapse beneath the she-wolves. First Morgra, then Larka tumbled into the rocky abyss below. I watched as Morgra's body tumbled and broke upon the jagged rocks. Larka slid down the surface of a large boulder before she was sucked into a fissure in the side of the chasm. While witnessing all of this in the flesh my mind had been clouded by a myriad of emotions; sorrow, fear, hatred, and disbelief among them. I was too caught up in the moment to realize what had actually happened._

_The blood we saw – the blood covering the rocks – was not Larka's. Morgra had been so tossed about that her body had left a bloody trail in its wake. Larka's body, on the other paw, had been protected from the falling debris. _Rar's voice called out to me from far away, but I ignored him, desperate as I was to learn of my sister's fate.

_A moment passed and I saw myself in the water. I was with the rest of my family, preparing to return the human cub to his kind. I led my family from the ancient ruins with the child riding on my back._

_Another moment and Skart was flying through the water…I mean the air. He dove and I realized he had returned to my sister's resting place. There was large slab of rock blocking the crevice that Larka's body had fallen into. He pecked and scratched around in the loose rubble at the base of the boulder until he had cleared an opening large enough for his head to poke through._

_Although I knew what would surely happen as soon as Skart made his way to Larka's body, I could not prevent the shiver that raced down my spine the screech resounding from within the rock pile caused._

_A flash within the water and Skart was hopping up and down and screeching before a very confused Rar. At the wolf's feet was a large tuft of white fur. Skart bounced a few feet away and waited as a hesitant Rar followed him. Without further warning Skart shot off into the air. Rar followed without a second thought._

_The puddle swirled and I was met with the sight of Rar digging furiously into the rock pile, trying to enlarge the hole Skart made earlier. He pulled away at the rubble until his paws bled, and even then he kept going._

_A new image showed Rar standing atop the boulder, haunch deep in the rock. He was backing out very slowly, as if too much movement would topple the tower of debris he was balancing upon. As his head broke free the fold of skin he had lightly grasped between his teeth became visible. Rar was very gentle as he pulled Larka's limp body from her tomb._

_Next, Larka was sprawled on the snow-covered ground beneath a tree in a forest clearing. Skart sat at her side, quietly speaking to her. Rar appeared on the scene, flanked by four other wolves and looking proud of his fresh kill. He dropped the meal before Larka, who proceeded to nibble delicately at the carcass. The distant look in her eyes was beyond frightening. A she-wolf quietly joined her in the snow and waited for her finish eating._

_Flash. Larka was limping about the clearing, testing her newly healed leg. She was breathing heavily through her pain. After a few steps she collapsed, bringing forth Skart and his screeching reprimand. She shook her head stubbornly and tried once more to regain her footing. The eagle pecked her side sharply and Larka let loose a painful yelp as she sank back to the ground, defeated._

_Flash. Larka ran blindly through the trees, not caring whether she stuck to the shadows or not. She was pounding through the forest like a spooked herla. _What could have worried her so? Where were her companions?_ She stumbled through the tree line into a place I recognized instantly as the area outside the den, but she wasn't alone._

She was with Kar. She found the pack.

The thought ran over and over in my mind until I could think of nothing else. The images in the water had long since vanished due to my lack of concentration. I sensed Rar at my side, but I was in too much shock to acknowledge his presence. _Larka is alive_. The rumors were true? How was this possible? _Surely, I would have known that she was not dead…_

_No, you closed yourself off from the Sight,_ I thought to myself._ How would you have known without looking through the water?_ I silently cursed at the thought of having been able to find her sooner.

"Fell? Is everything alright?" Rar asked in a weary voice. I shook my head quickly and turned to face him.

"I – I'm sorry Rar, but I needed to see for myself." Rar nodded solemnly in understanding as I collected my thoughts. I _had_ to gain better control over my emotions one of these days. It would be impossible for me to maintain an acquaintance with anyone if I kept biting their heads off every time I was slightly irked. _I can't be biting off heads _period. _That would help no one._

"Rar?" He started at his name, but met my gaze straight on. I suppose I should have been angered by his boldness, but there were more important matters to be discussed than our social pecking order. Aside from looking slightly disturbed by my ability to see far-off things in a puddle of water, Rar seemed to be at ease around me. _As the wolf who had impersonated Wolfbane, I really have no room to speak about dominance._ "Rar, I should thank you for what you did for my sister. You helped to nurse her back to health, yes?" My nails dug into the rocky earth beneath my paws as I waited patiently for an answer. Apparently he was just as surprised as I was by my new demeanor, but how was I supposed to react to this situation?

"Fell…I, that is, _we_ all care a great deal for Larka. Were it not for her…quite frankly I don't know where we would be right now. I owed it to her, after all she did for the Varg." The sincerity in his eyes was not lost on me. Not only was he unafraid of me, but he was willing to stand up to me. He was either very brave or very foolish. Against my better judgment, I was incapable of disliking this wolf.

A true smile graced marred my features. I'm sure it came off more as a strange grimace, being that I had not smiled for quite some time. "Rar, I need you to tell me where Larka is." His brow furrowed, so I decided to clarify. "I know she left, but why? What happened?"

"I keep asking myself the same question. One day everything was going fine – I mean, as fine as things had been going for us – and the next thing we knew she had become extremely agitated about something. I came back from hunting one day and she wouldn't even touch the food I gave her. I remember that Skart kept looking over at her as if she would disappear at any moment. It was making me nervous, not knowing what was going on. We obviously could not ask Skart what the problem was, and I think he was the only one who understood what was happening. She kept mumbling to herself. All I could ever clearly make out was your name. Whenever I asked what she was talking about she would shake her head and ignore me as if she couldn't understand me."

It was unlike Larka to keep things to herself, although much time has passed since we were cubs. What could have possibly disturbed her so? In my vision she was so…disoriented.

Rar was still speaking and I had been lost in my own thoughts. " – knew that it was necessary for her to rest and heal before she went wherever she needed to go. I told her – and I'm pretty sure Skart did as well – that she had to stay with us until the beginning of summer. Maybe by that time she would be able to hunt for herself, or… Anyways, as soon as the grass turned green again she was gone without a word. Does that make any sense to you?"

I shook my head in response. No, it didn't make sense at all. Larka would never have run off, injured, on her own like that…

"Rar, I saw her." He was confused again. "In the water, I saw her. She was with Kar in the pack territory. Do you have any reason to believe that she was headed somewhere else when she left you?" I needed to know if what I had seen was part of the present or something that had yet to happen.

"No. I had assumed that she would want to find you, but then that's what I would have done." _What? _Rar saw the surprise and confusion marring my features, so he answered my silent question. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but before the incident at Harja your family was under the impression that you were dead." _Well, yes, but –_ "If I were to learn that a dead littermate of mine had not only most assuredly _not_-died, but was in fact living nearby, not even Fenris himself could keep me from them. Surely, that's what Larka was doing?" _Perhaps, but she could also have been looking for Kar. She would want to be with him more than me._

A couldn't shake the notion that Larka had gone home for reasons that did not involve me. Why would she want to find me after everything I had done? Thinking back on it all, I was even able to convince myself that it was my fault she had been left behind. Surely, had I not cut myself off from the Sight, I would have realized that she was still alive. Larka would have returned Bran to the human dwellings herself, and my new sister would have been given a different name.

"Fell." His voice broke through my silent musings. I met his gaze and was instantly ashamed of…something. Why that was I could not say, however.

"Rar, if Larka is truly alive – "

"She is." I suppressed a growl as he interrupted me. I was used to being in control.

" – then I need to find her. I need to see her with my own two eyes." _I can't handle living another lie. _He smirked, actually amused by my reaction. No, he wasn't amused…he was…happy? _Will I ever get used to others responding positively to me? How can I have gone from being the _thing_ lurking in the dark to someone whose company was valued by other wolves?_ The thought baffled me.

"Fell…Have you heard the other rumors?" He was suddenly nervous, as if whatever these rumors contained would be something that I would find distasteful. The wolf who was unafraid of my intensity was now shifting about as though the rocks he stood upon were causing him pain.

"Other rumors? No, all I have heard was that there were sightings of a white she-wolf. Even those words I overheard from a distance. I am not exactly welcomed by our kind."

"Did you ever meet a Balkar named Brak?" he asked me, seemingly altering his course.

I thought for a moment before nodding. "Yes. A younger member of the Balkar, but his ferocity and devotion to the pack lead him to rise through the ranks quickly. He was one of the few that my – that Morgra trusted." _She's not my mother._ "Why do you ask?"

Rar found a nice spot on the ground to stare at while he padded around the subject. As the rain continued, small droplets rolled down his muzzle and dripped from his nose. A low growl from me reminded him he was supposed to answer me. "As you know, well, of course you know. Slavka did go with you, after all." He was stalling. A louder growl and he stopped stuttering. "What I'm trying to say is that not everyone was able to move on with their lives after Morgra's death." _Tell me about it._ "Many of the Varg chose to form new packs and settle down after so much fighting. But Brak…he has one last bone to pick clean."

"Just say it, Rar. What does Brak want?" It would have been easier for me to simply look into the water and find out what he was up to, but I did not want to become dependent on that other sense just yet. _Even better, you could search his mind,_ the voice tempted. _Go ahead. Just do it._

"Brak feels that Morgra's influences did not die with her. I met him briefly, after Larka left. He was asking very pointed questions about your family…He's looking for you, Fell." _Why am I not surprised by this? It had to happen sooner or later._ All I could remember of this particular male was that Morgra, in her own small way, seemed to trust him enough to carry out her orders. He was told things that others were not privy to and was expected not to tell his fellow Night Hunters.

I had been inside his mind and seen how skeptical he was of the one called Wolfbane. He remained untouched by my punishments because he never openly voiced his concerns to his fellow Balkar. _If he had done such a thing he would not be in search of you now…_

_No, stop thinking like that. My loyalties no longer lie with Morgra._ This was going to take some getting used to. Just to be sure, "Why exactly is he looking for me?" It couldn't possibly be to reminisce about past times, living under Morgra's tyranny. Or mine. _Oh_.

"My understanding is that he has gathered together a group of wolves who believe that you are a serious threat to the Varg. He asked me if I knew where you had gone to. I didn't want to give him any information that would possibly endanger your family, because I was unsure of how much he already knew. But Fell, he is serious about finding you." Rar flopped down into the mud. I joined him in the shadow of the cliff, as the rain had stopped by this point. The coolness of the wet ground seeped through my drenched coat. It was strangely comforting, the dark dampness. I had been running for days straight and I was content to rest for the moment.

I needed to concentrate. The facts before me were this: both my sister and I were alive, yet I was wanted for having tortured the Balkar. Obviously I was an imminent threat to all who met me, but I _was_ trying my best to control that part of me. If I desired to, I could be a menace to those around me. I'd done so before. That was why I tried to forget all about the Sight. What was to stop me from becoming a menace once more?

_You know how easy it would be gain dominion over all of the silly Varg,_ her voice whispered inside my head_. They will believe anything – they believed you were the Shape Shifter, for Wolfbane's sake! Why let a few measly _herla_ bother you? That's what they are, after all: herla for the slaughter._ Her bitter snickering came to me as clear as day. _I need to let this go. She can't control me anymore. _Shaking my head was not enough to get Morgra out of my head, so I turned to Rar, hoping that he could help ground me in a time a place where my former mistress was dead.

For once it would be nice to simply live in the present.

"Rar? I need to find Larka. If the Balkar don't find me they will surely seek out my family to learn of my whereabouts. I think I need to go…home." _Home_. What a strange mixture of feelings this word created within me. As a cub I had never felt "at home" with my family. While I sought their approval in everything I did, I was unsuccessful in forming any sort of connection with my parents. Since my return I've been even more distant with them than before I 'died'.

You can't come back from the dead and expect everything to be fine, I suppose. In my case we were all expecting there to have been at least a noticeable improvement between us, with all we endured in the past few years.

I left my family to protect them from my many short-comings. Huttser and Palla, having a new litter, did not need my melancholy self polluting the peaceful atmosphere their new litter brought with it. Now I must return to them in order to protect them from those who would harm me. There was no way I was going to let them take the fall for me.

_I wonder if this is how Larka felt._ I knew better now than to blame her for our hardships. Our pack had never been cursed. Morgra lied. The only thing we'd really been fighting against was ourselves.

Perhaps now we would have a chance to fix things.

"I understand." Rar stood up and stretched. I followed suit, stiff from lying in the wet for so long. "Fell, the fight is over, but if you find yourself in need of friends…My pack and I are on your side. We are more than willing to help you and your family. We owe you all so much."

"But Rar, what about – "I was cut off by the soft sound of squelching mud as a new wolf approached. She was a handsome dark grey. Her thin coat made her sleek figure appear even slimmer than her body already was. She had long white legs and a slender neck that stretched from strong shoulders. The light brown of her undercoat gave her the appearance of just having taken a dust bath, but with her fur as wet as it was at the moment I knew it was a trick of the light. Rar bristled slightly at her approach.

"Rar? When you left I thought that – "She paused when she realized that I was hidden amongst the shadows. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize there was someone else here." I stood slowly to greet our newcomer, or to prepare myself for a fight. I couldn't quite tell from Rar's response to the she-wolf how I should accept her.

"Fell, this is Cadea." Rar was obviously less than pleased that she had followed him. "She's a member of my pack. Cadea this is Fell." She frowned at this introduction, but other than Rar's tone I found nothing amiss with it. Cadea stepped forward, appearing as though she were about to challenge him.

At the last second she turned to address me. "Fell. We have not met, but I have heard much of you. I – "

"Cadea," growled Rar. She chose to ignore his warning and continue speaking, flipping her tail in defiance.

"As I was saying…I want to go with you." She held my gaze as I stared on in amazement. "As Rar no doubt already explained to you, your sister is no longer here. I need to see her again."

Amused by her blunt approach, I decided to humor her. "May I ask what business you have with Larka?"

"I – I think she can help me." Up to that point Cadea had shown an incredible amount of backbone. She surprised me then by showing how vulnerable she truly was. "I think I may be like her…" She broke my gaze momentarily before finding her courage. "She has to help me."

By this point Rar had become fed up with conversation. "Cadea!" he snarled. She had the decency to take on a subordinate state by lying down with her head between her paws. Rar shook his head and turned to address me. "I'm sorry. I told her to let it be, but apparently the wishes of the Dragga hold no place with Cadea." He was glaring at the wolf at his feet with a great amount of dislike. In return she growled back, her head still between her paws and eyes matching his.

"Rar, its fine. Why do you believe that Larka can help you?" At her name she looked up at me with wide eyes. "I mean to leave soon, so if you would be so kind as to answer me I would be very much in your debt," I spat out sarcastically. She did not appreciate the sarcasm, however, and jumped to her feet to defend herself against my unprovoked verbal attack. I chuckled quietly to myself and hoped she wouldn't notice and become even more offended. The very prospect of the small she-wolf challenging me in any way lightened my mood considerably.

"I need her help," was her short reply.

"Care to explain?"

"No." She was speaking through her teeth, barely containing her snarl.

_Should I take her with me? _It was an intriguing idea, because I felt drawn to this abrasive young wolf. Neither of us were in control of our tempers. Her claim that Larka could help her sparked my interest, but if Larka's survival became common knowledge then surely every Varg would come seek her out. _What more could Larka possibly do for them?_ "Rar, how many others are aware that Larka is alive?"

Rar frowned before answering. "Only my pack. Following a very drawn out conversation with Skart, Larka insisted that we keep her survival secret. This is why my pack continues to dwell in the shadows of Harja. We have to make sure that others do not discover her body is not here, as you did." I nodded in ascent. _Thank Skart for planning ahead. I'm not sure what would happen if the Balkar learned of her whereabouts._ This brought me back to the present and I addressed Cadea in as civil manner as I was capable of during the current circumstances.

"Cadea. I need you to tell me why you believe Larka can help you. She is safe now and does not need to be bothered." She looked away, focusing on her paws. "If you will not tell me then I must take my leave now…without you." At that I began making my way to the entrance, intending to reach my family as soon as possible. Cadea leapt to her paws, splashing through puddles until she stood before me.

She met my gaze with pleading eyes. "Please, Fell. I heard stories during my time with the rebel pack. I've seen her speaking with the eagle. I know she can speak to the Lera."

"Is _that_ all this is about? You wish to speak to the Lera as well? You are wasting your – "

"No! You don't understand. I can hear them already." _She must be lying. Only those with the Sight are able to communicate with the Lera._ There was no way that – "Larka can do it, too. I need her to help me." She lowered her head shamefully as Rar stepped up behind me.

He coughed before speaking, his voice full of embarrassment. "Fell, Cadea believes that she can hear other Lera speak. Every hunt Cadea has been on results in her begging us not to kill. She has come to the point where we must provide for her." This explained why she was so underweight.

"I don't _want_ to hear them screaming at me as they die!" Our skepticism was not improving her mood in the least. "I just, I don't know, I hear them! When Skart was speaking with Larka I couldn't understand what was being said. Now I just know. Birds, foxes, herla, even rabbits for Tor's sake. I try to speak with them, but they all run away so I don't know if they can hear me or not." _Rabbits?_ That sounded vaguely familiar. "I can't hunt, for myself or otherwise, and depend upon the rest of the pack. It's infuriating, trying to talk to them. They," she shot a heated glance at Rar, "do not believe me. They think I'm crazy. I need to know if Larka can help me or not." Exhausted by her rant, Cadea sat down in front of me, blocking my path. Her gaze bored into mine, desperately seeking any answers I could give her.

I thought back to Larka's first kill. Kar and I watched her from the cover of the forest. She had killed a hare, but she became so sick afterwards that she had been unable to eat it. She experienced the hare's death as though it were her own. She saw through the eyes of the beast before killing it. From what Kar had told me, Larka was only able to communicate with Skart.

I, on the other paw… I was able to reach all the Lera.

"Cadea, from what little I know of Larka's experiences she has never had the ability to communicate with any animal other than Skart. Why is it that you can hear them? The only reason Larka is able is because she possesses the Sight."

"I have no idea why this is happening to me. I was hoping she could tell me."

"Larka may not have the answers you are hoping for. Still, I will not object to you traveling with me." _Where did _that_ come from? Of course you object to her coming with you. You are only content when you are alone._

Her voice momentarily clouded my mind. _Was I really happier alone?_ My current mood said otherwise. I knew I longed for others to talk to, to understand me. Perhaps we could help each other.

"Fell you don't know what you're asking for. She cannot hunt for herself. You must care for her as you would a cub." Rar sounded both weary and hopeful. If Cadea came with me then he would no longer be responsible for her. If he was so opposed to her living in the way she did, what had prevented him from driving her away sooner?

"As dependent as I may be nutritionally there is no reason to treat me as a cub, Rar! Why won't you try to understand?"

"What is there to understand, Cadea? Tell me."

"Rar, you know I – "

"Stop this bickering at once!" Both wolves cowered from the intensity my outburst, but I was growing tired anxious. We were standing around when I could have already been on my way. "Our fighting is done with. Needless arguments amongst ourselves will do no one any good. Rar," I said in a loud voice, "if you wish for me to take Cadea then I will. Cadea, if you wish to come with me then you must stop with this defensiveness. I mean you no harm, but I do have a temper. Accompanying me will be dangerous with the Balkar looking for me. Do you still wish to come?"

Her eyes shone with gratitude as she expressed her willingness to travel together. "If you do not mind hunting for me, I can help to protect you." _Please, as if _I_ need _her_ protection._ "All I ask is that you take me to Larka."

"Cadea…_please_ be careful." The gentle tone Rar used to address her startled me after their earlier argument. Where had all of the hostility gone to? "If something should happen to you, Vangr would travel back from the Red Meadows and kill me himself." He nuzzled Cadea affectionately as she returned his smile. She nipped his ear playfully and took off down the passage that led back down the mountain, leaving the two of us alone. _That was…odd._

"You should go now, Fell. No doubt the Balkar will be patrolling the area. I don't know how many of them there are, but Brak was looking for others to join him. There shouldn't be too many. At least, more than you can handle." With a mischievous smirk Rar leapt up to follow Cadea. I made to follow him, but he turned suddenly, having forgotten to tell me something. "And Fell, look after Cadea for me?" Having said all there was to say, Rar bolted through the passageway after Cadea.

I cast a weary glance behind me, taking in the ruins one last time. As I slowly made my way down the mountain I thought of what had just occurred. When I was last here my heart had been burdened by so many feelings of remorse and shame. I returned, fearfully expecting to find the same emotions waiting for me. Instead I found the one thing that I needed most.

_Hope._

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The first day of travel was the most difficult. Cadea was far more observant than I gave her credit for. Perhaps it was her additional ability to hear the minds of the Lera, but from the moment we left Harja she knew something was different.

My natural charm caused any animals in our vicinity to flee from our approach. Cadea, being accustomed to the intrusive voices of the Lera, knew that we were being avoided more than any normal wolves would in our position. It was only right for her to surmise that I was the cause of her immediate discomfort.

Instead of opening my mind and discovering for myself if I truly was the source of pandemonium in the forest I kept my mind to myself. I used the Sight to look for my sister, but I had no wish to deprive anyone their secrets again.

"Fell…Can I ask you something?" We were resting for the moment. Traveling by night and sleeping during the day took some getting used to. I was most comfortable functioning this way, so it was for Cadea's benefit we stopped.

"I suppose so."

"Y-You know that I can hear the Lera. I am curious as to why they are saying the things they are." The slight tremor her voice adopted was more in response to her uncertainty of my reaction. We'd spoken little since our departure and still knew next to nothing of each other. Something told me, however, that she knew all about me. The looks she used around me frightened me. It was like she was peering into my soul, the twisted black thing it was.

"Cadea, you must be more specific. You are the only one capable of hearing the Lera." Her brow rasied in response to my question, yet she remained silent. "Alright, I'll bite. What are the Lera saying to each other?"

Her inquisitive look transformed into a solid frown as she answered. "They are frightened. They are shouting to each other. Something has them scared out of their minds."

I smirked. "Out of their minds? Is this why you can hear them, then?"

"You know what I mean. I know they are running from you, but I want to know why." Her directness took me by surprise. I appreciated it, though. It would be rather hard for us to travel together if she were too intimidated to voice her thoughts. "That's not to say I don't appreciate the silence, however. It is nice to only hear my own thoughts."

_Of course that would be nice. _An idea popped into my mind just then. "Have you ever tried ignoring the voices? You know, tried _not_-hearing them?"

"What do you mean? You think I _want_ to hear these things?" _No. I don't think that_. "Of course I've tried blocking them out, but they keep saying…"

"That I have come to kill them all, perhaps? That would be my guess." Her eyes opened wide in shock. _Yes. That is exactly what they are saying._ "I appear to have that affect on…well, on everyone."

"Really? Why?" _Why? That was the best she could come up with. 'Well, I used to be Wolfbane, you see. I'm not now, but others seem to be having difficulty discerning that.' Yes, that would do it._

"You do know why the Balkar want to find me, don't you?"

"Yes. Brak said that you thought you were Wolfbane, and that you pose a serious threat to us all. I don't believe him, though."

"Really. May I ask why not?"

"Well, 'I suppose so.'" At this rate I was going to end up killing her before we reached the pack boundaries. She was deliberately trying to spurn a reaction from me. "I may not have been present at Harja that day, but I was told a very detailed account of all that occurred. We owe you just as much as we do your sister." The truth was there in her eyes, just as Rar's had been when he told me the same thing. Still, I couldn't believe them.

"No. You owe me nothing."

Her head cocked to the side, a universal sign of confusion. "But you helped Larka to defeat Morgra, didn't you?"

"Yes, but I highly doubt that one altruistic act is enough to erase my past. You don't know what happened." I hated thinking back to my time in the dark. Everything was blurred together and yet the images were distinct. Needless to say it was distracting.

"Then tell me what you think you did so I can understand." She was looking at me with those eyes again – that look that said she knew more about me than me. In a way I wanted her to understand, but at the same time I never told anyone about my experience. My feelings were mine alone to deal with. "If you are going to help me, then the least I can do is help you. Which reminds me; you never answered my question."

I only recalled her asking why the Lera feared me so, which I answered already. "What question?"

"You said I should try and ignore the voices. I want to know how to do that and you never said." She looked smug again, and I wanted nothing more than to wipe her face of that ridiculous expression.

"You never asked me how to clear your mind." _There's that look of superiority she carries so easily. Why don't you show her that she's no better than the Lera she overhears gossiping about you. _The voice crossed into my mind, spurred on by my increasing agitation and annoyance at the she-wolf across from me. I could not allow Cadea to anger me so easily. It wasn't her fault that I was insane.

Her smirk faded a bit as she read whatever emotions were splayed across my features. She found something there that amused her and the smirk lips turned up in grin. "That's right; I didn't, but let's just pretend that I _had_ asked. What would you tell me?" Her smile was so contagious it was all I could do to prevent my lips from curling upwards.

"If you _had_ asked me, hypothetically, I would have told you that I'm not sure. What you can do, whatever it is that you do, can only be achieved through the Sight. Though I've never heard of it allowing the Varg to speak to the Lera."

Her ears perked up at my mention of the ancient power, forgotten by most among our kind, and she immediately began her inquiries. "You know of the Sight? How? Did Larka tell you about it? Oh, of course she would tell you all she knows – you're her brother. Do you really think I possess the power as well?" She spoke quickly and with purpose, answering her own questions as she grew more excited by the prospect of my knowing how to help her. She really was in need of information. The sooner her questions were answered, the better.

I just didn't have the courage to tell her. If she knew what I did of the Sight, she would also know that I, as well as Larka, had the gift. She would learn that the Sight gave one the ability to look into the water and see far off times and places; to see through the eyes of the Lera. Yes, she very well could be touched by the Sight. I wasn't ready to tell her, however, that it was also the Sight that allowed me to control the Lera.

It didn't seem like something to tell someone upon meeting them.

"I will make sure your questions are answered…eventually, but this is a topic I would rather not discuss at the moment," I said in a firm voice, leaving no room for interpretation. Cadea caught my meaning but chose to ignore my hint and continued on with the conversation I so desperately wanted to end.

"Fell, if you can help me, _now_… What is it that you are hiding from me?"

"What makes you think I am hiding something?" What a ridiculous idea. That was, it would have been ridiculous were it not true.

"Quite simply, I need help and you won't help me. Because you agreed to bring me with you, I can only assume that means you must have a good reason for withholding information from me or else you would have no problem speaking openly with me. Correct me if I have assumed too much but my observations are typically accurate." Unfortunately for me she was right. I would never tell her, obviously, but she was right nonetheless.

"Cadea…I'm going hunting." This was the only way I knew how to deal with the pain the memories flooding my consciousness brought on. The reason my younger siblings were so well-fed was partially due to my inability to process what I had gone through.

Leaving an awe-struck Cadea safely tucked into the hollow of a tree I ran from my fears and obligations. Hunting allowed me to focus my anger into the kill. Being alone would make me realize how much I longed for a companion to talk with. This was how I coped with my problems.

_Running away is what I do best._


	7. Ch 6

**As always, sorry for taking so long to update, but I wrote this chapter 3 times before I felt it post-worthy. Also, I don't know David Clement-Davies. If I did, I would demand that he tell me where he's got Kar locked up so I could give him a juicy steak and a hug.**

**As far as the characters seeming a bit OOC, I apologize for that. I'm trying to keep them as close to character as possible, but of then they're my interpretations of the characters and how I imagine their responses.**

**I hope that may clear some things up…especially towards the end.**

**The Kerl~

* * *

**

**Chapter 6**

"_Months going strong now, and no goodbye…_

_Unconditional, unoriginal –_

_Always by my side._

_Meant to be together_

_Meant for no one but each other_

_You love me, I love you harder, so…"_

– _**6 Months,**_** Hey Monday**

**Larka**

The past few days had been some of the best, and worst, of my life. Reliving my memories was more painful than I expected. While many memories were essential to my wanting to be 'me' again, many were things that I had done my best to forget in the first place.

With the return of my identity came an intense restlessness that would not be shaken. The fact that I felt so protective was unsurprising to me. It was the _intensity_ of the desperation that accompanied my feelings that worried me. _He's out there, alone, with no one to warn him_. Remembering that he was a grown wolf, fully capable of fighting his own battles, I knew that my worry was without cause. Yet, somehow I was able to convince myself that this was certainly my fault. The impending doom preparing to descend upon Fell's world was a result of my own careless actions.

Waiting was the worst part of my situation. I knew he was going to find the pack…sometime. I knew that the Balkar were looking for him. I knew that all I was able to do was lie around and try my best not to think about him. I attempted to track his progress through the mountains by looking into the stream, but for some reason I found myself unable to control my visions as I had before. To state it plainly I was frustrated.

Palla shared my fears for Fell's safety, but she could be nothing but positive, certain that her son would return. We talked as we watched the cubs play in the soft summer grass. After much coaxing she confided in me how pleased she was to be raising her cubs the way she had always wanted. Huttser seamed happier as well. It was strange for me to see them both so content and, well, in love with each other. Kar said that they had been this way in the rebel pack but that I had been too preoccupied to notice.

The rustle of furry bodies racing through the tall grass reached my ears and I turned to see Kipcha, followed by her littermates, sprinting headlong towards my position. While I was thankful for the momentary distraction, I could not suppress the wearied sigh that slipped through my maw. It would do me no good to brood over that which I had no control over. These cubs, named after the lost members of the pack, helped to remind me of times long gone. They also helped me to live in the present and look to the future. As one accustomed to the latter, it was often difficult to force myself to remember the former.

"Larka!" shouted Kipcha as she skidded down the hill. Whereas the cubs had been instructed not to question me before, they now amused themselves by listening to 'every horrid story I had to tell'. Much of what they asked was beyond ridiculous. Questions like 'How was it that you killed Wolfbane?' or 'Did Tor send you back from the Red Meadow?' Sometimes it amazed me that we shared parents.

"Mother and Father have gone hunting again, so we are to stay with you and Uncle Kar. Larka, tell us another story!" The others took up her cry. I raised my eyes to see that Kar was indeed trailing along behind them. I assumed that his sullen expression resulted from the fact that the young wolves ran to me when they wanted a story. Was he really so upset that I had usurped him as a storyteller? He was watching me intently, gauging my reaction to the sudden onslaught of attention. I smiled at him before turning my attention back to my younger siblings.

"And what would you like to hear about on this fine summer's day?" My voice was heavy with sleep and I couldn't fight back a yawn. I'd been so preoccupied lately that sleep was growing more and more elusive. When I'd explained to Kar that I had difficulty thinking properly when I was overwhelmed by my family's presence, he'd suggested that I should leave my perch by the stream and walk through the woods to sort out my problems. I knew that he was reluctant to surrender our time together, but Kar understood that I'd not yet fully recovered from my experience. He gave me my space during the day, but at night he was always by my side to chase the nightmares away. That simple gesture meant more to me than I was able to tell him.

Kar lie down in the grass behind the cubs, so I padded my way to his side as the children argued over what they would most like to hear about. He stretched and rolled, allowing me room to curl into his side. His tongue flicked out and met my muzzle a greeting I eagerly returned. This time my sigh was one of contentment. Kar was doing his best to make me feel at home again. The constancy of his breathing soothed my troubled spirit. Our time together always seemed to be interrupted by something, so we'd not yet had the chance to speak of…more adult things. I both anticipated and dreaded that particular conversation, though for the moment I knew where I belonged.

With Kar I was home, just as I'd always been.

"Larka, tell us a story of your time with the human. Do they truly smell as awful as we've heard? Like molded bark?"

"Skop, everything _smells_. How else would we be able to differentiate the scents of various Lera on the wind? Two stones from two separate places may look and taste the same, but they will smell different. That's how we are able to tell Larka and Larka apart," he added jovially.

"Kar, you know what he meant," reprimanded Larka, clearly not amused by the idea of being indistinguishable from an older wolf who looked nothing like her. I muffled my laughter with a paw, glad that they weren't paying attention to me at the moment. "We want to know what humans smell like."

"Exactly. Humans don't smell awful, but to a nose unused to the smell it is very disconcerting." _How much more should I tell them? _"The most important thing to remember about humans is that they are made of flesh and blood, just as any Lera is. What sets them apart is their intelligence, much as we are set apart from the Herla we hunt. When I first met the child I was filled with both a hunger and a fear, for I'd already seen how deadly humans could be. Though, I was with Bran so long that I became accustomed to the way he smelled. His presence was oddly comforting at times," I added as an afterthought.

"Yes, but it was with you so long it was difficult to tell whether he was Man or a bald Varg. He certainly acted that way…" Kar trailed off, no doubt thinking back to the last time he'd seen the child. "At least, _his_ smell didn't affect me the way the cluster of human dwellings did." His muzzle crinkled in disgust as he recalled the overwhelming scent.

"Uncle Kar!" cried Khaz. "You visited the human dens? Why would you do that? Father told us Man kills any varg that enter their villages." _That about sums them up_. "He said we must _always_ avoid humans, as well as their tools." I couldn't help but think of Khaz's namesake, killed in a human hunting pit.

"Huttser is right. Man is to be feared above all the Putnar." Laughing lightly, Kar continued. "Larka is to blame for my ever being around them in the first place," his seriousness overcome by jollity. Skop frowned and asked how I was to be faulted for Kar betraying his instincts. Kar nudged me with his muzzle. I tilted my head to the side and was met by his smiling eyes. "I think I have just remembered the perfect story." He spoke to the cubs and yet he held my gaze, allowing me time to stop him. I knew what he wanted to tell them, but I was unsure why. Surely, it would be too painful for him to relive that experience.

By Tor, it was painful for _me_ to relive it.

Assuming that Kar would skip through the less-important, more tragic details of the tale I turned back to the cubs and smiled. "Oh please tell us!" they chorused. Kar acquiesced and began the story.

"Our tale begins in the dead of the coldest winter the world has ever endured, with the brave white she-wolf striking out on her own." It didn't escape me the way that he dove straight into the story, editing out the more painful details – like why the 'brave white she-wolf struck out on her own' in the first place. I was comforted by the fact, as well as by the deep rumbling emanating from the body behind me as Kar used his deep and overly-dramatic narrator voice. "Larka always thought she could solve everything by herself. I knew her better than that, so it only made sense that I would follow her…just in case something should happen." I could _feel_ him grinning behind me. I had a sneaky suspicion that Kar was to be the hero of this story. "She was upset and would not talk to me no matter how charming I tried to be. She plodded on as though she was alone in the world…but I stayed with her because she wasn't thinking straight." This time his amusement leaked into his voice. I could feel him shaking, trying to control his laughter.

"In my defense I was I little upset at the time," accompanied a slight growl.

"Yes, of course you were. As I was saying, Larka trudged along through the blizzard and I dutifully trailed behind her," he sighed in the most pathetic, martyr-like manner I'd ever witnessed. "Now, a grown wolf can do without food for days, weeks even, before they become too weak to go on. We were _not_ fully grown at the time. In fact I believe we were mere moons older than you lot. It was my duty to bring this small bit of information to Larka's attention. We were cold and hungry and there was no way we were going to find food without one of us eating the other." My head whipped around and I shot him an evil look. He beheld my menace with open eyes and erect ears, pleading his innocence. I glowered at him until he relented. "Perhaps that's not all _entirely_ accurate. But we were hungry, and it _was_ very cold." Appeased, I looked back to the children and their curious features, my signal for Kar to carry on.

Ever the practical one, Larka spoke up. "How did you find food, then?"

"I'm getting to that part, now everyone quit interrupting me!" Instead of looking abashed, Larka's grin grew with Kar's reprimand. He was nowhere near as intimidating as he thought he was. "Now, where was I? Ah, yes, we were weak with hunger and our fur was thick with frost. Just as we thought we were going to die in the snow, we caught a foul scent on the wind. We stopped in our tracks, enveloped by it as though there was nothing else in the world. All at the same time the air was foreign, familiar, frightening, and promising. It was the scent of Man."

The cubs gasped at the dramatic retelling. "It was much like rotting flesh and crushed bugs. Our hunger drove us to follow the strange scent to the edge of the wood. Concealed in the shadows of the tree line we watched the humans down the hill. When night set we stole in between the dwellings and found where they piled their scraps, but there was nothing left for us. Vermin had already picked the heap clean."

Before Kar was able to immortalize himself in a stream of words flowing with his heroism, I cut in. "We snuck back to the forest and huddled down for the night, hungrier than ever. I remember falling asleep dreaming of food. I woke up and there was Kar with half a pig in his mouth."

"I stole it from the humans." His glee was evident in his tone.

"Yes, you did. I'm still not sure how you managed to do it."

"Did the humans see you?" questioned Khaz in a worried voice.

"You would do well to know that it was moment of heroic daring that nearly got me killed." His tone was airy, but I knew him well enough to pick up the trace of regret as he spoke of the cause of our separation.

I decided to lighten the mood as best I could. "If I recall correctly, we were both nearly killed."

"Now really, was that _all_ my fault?"

I snorted. "Are you trying to blame me? I was asleep the entire time. I certainly hope that it's not my fault that the humans saw you." I shook my head at the ridiculous notion. "I would not have been caught," I stated flippantly.

"As you said, you were asleep the entire time. If wasn't always looking out for you – "

"Well you obviously weren't looking hard enough, or else the humans would not have – "

"Well if you really wanted to starve, then you should've just told – "

"What happened?" called the children. While Kar and I had been caught up by the friendly banter, the cubs had no idea what we were talking of. "Did the humans yell and throw sticks at you?"

Kar laughed at Skop's word for spears, which were far more deadly than 'sticks'. I could see how he now regretted choosing this particular story to tell the young wolves. "You know what? I don't think this is a story we should finish right now. Let's save it for another day."

"No!" shouted the cubs, distraught at the thought of not hearing more of the evil Man brings to the world. "We want to hear how you escaped from the humans," Skop whined.

I looked back at Kar, both our mouths open and scrabbling about for an answer. Just then Palla appeared. Her face bore an apologetic look, as though she were sorry for Kar and I cub-sitting again. "Children, your father and I need to speak with you about something important." I felt my brow quirk in confusion. Palla smiled at my expression and slowly shook her head to signal that the important something excluded me. Kar witnessed the exchange and nudged my shoulder. As our eyes met we came to a silent agreement. Following his gesture I got to my feet and began to walk in the direction of the trees. Over the pandemonium of the excitement of the cubs I heard Kar following just a few paces off my right shoulder.

It was time for our _adult talk_.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"So…You have no idea where he is?" Kar and I were lying in a small grove of pines, cushioned by the blanket of needles beneath us. The sweet smell of the evergreens pervaded the air while the branches shielded us from the rest of the world. Here it was only Kar and Larka. The topic of our conversation had me less than contented, though.

I shook my head and pawed at a green stem that had poked its way through the brown debris. "He's somewhere between Harja and the pack boundary. Honestly, he could be anywhere. All I can tell is that his destination has changed. Earlier he was running towards something in desperation, like he didn't know what he would find; now he appears to know his path and is determined to get there. It's been so long since I've actively used the Sight that I think the power has grown weak in me. The visions are still clear, but I am unable to control them as I once did." I paused, allowing myself to think back to when Skart and Tsarr had instructed me in controlling my abilities. _Can I learn to do it again?_

"Is this why you have been so upset lately? Because your power is dwindling?"

"Yes. No? I'm not really sure." A weak smile graced my features while Kar's brow contorted in confusion. "It's not that I am angry that the Sight is not as strong in me as before Harja. You know how it has always set me apart from the Varg. With the loss of the power I really could attempt to live a normal life." He nodded, thinking back to the conversation we'd had concerning Huttser's wishes for my future. "Yet I am disappointed in myself and frustrated. If I could see what I wanted, I would know if Fell was safe and coming here _now_. Without that ability, I can't help but wonder if he has been caught by the Balkar already." Kar crawled closer and curled around me, his body giving me the comfort his words could not.

"I'm sure Fell is fine. He's good at, well, he can look after himself. Besides, worrying about things you can't control won't do anyone any good. _You_ may believe otherwise, but all you have is the present to live in. Knowing the future can't change that." _When did he become so smart?_ Taking stock of my surprised expression, he said, "That's something I learned when I was…alone. In the cave." In remembering all that had happened to me, it was easy to forget Kar's experiences were nearly as painful as my own. I rolled over and snuggled deeper into the crescent shape his body formed. While the close contact created more warmth than the sunny day required, the glade of trees around us cooled the atmosphere. Feeling his eyes on me I gathered my breath to ask him something I was confused about.

"Kar…there's still one thing that I need to know." I paused, unsure how to word my question. We were both so comfortable that I hated bringing up these unpleasant subjects. In Kar-fashion I decided to quit skirting the topic and just ask. "Kar, what happened to Slavka? I know she came here…and then she left. What happened?" Not quite what I'd meant to ask, but it still needed answered. He resettled himself so that he could better see my eyes.

I felt him sigh, the hot air from his mouth tickling my fur. "Last winter was hard on her. After Harja, she followed us here, asking if she could join the pack. Huttser allowed her, and for a while she seemed to be at peace with the world. We knew she blamed herself for what happened to you – as we all blamed ourselves – but she was able to enjoy herself with the cubs. You remember that he own were killed." I nodded, recalling the story. "While Fell was here, she found solace in his pain. They were both hurting, and it made her feel as though she had someone to take care of. Fell grew restless, up and left, and Slavka aged practically overnight. That's when we first noticed her strange behavior."

"How do you mean?"

"She became…skittish, I suppose. Much like a frightened Lera. Slavka would hear sounds; see things that were not there. Every time she passed into a shadow she jerked back in surprise, falling down in the process. Her eyes were growing cloudy, but this was past poor eyesight. Had we not kept watch over her, I'm sure she would have stopped eating. She was losing her strength before our eyes. As the weather grew warmer…things took a turn for the worse. She was having difficulty walking without one of us to steer her. Then she disappeared."

"What do you mean, 'disappeared'?"

"That's just it, she vanished. We slept outside of the den so that I could quiet her down if she fell into another fit. She would wake up and forget who she was, snarling at us, disorientated beyond reason. I'm sure she would've attacked us if the shakes had not prevented her from doing so."

"That's why my behavior didn't surprise you when I first got here," I guessed.

"Not at all. I mean, it was strange that _you _were acting that way, but you were nothing like Slavka was. The howling was horrible… Anyway, I remember falling asleep a few feet away from her. She was whimpering about something. The next thing I knew it was pouring…and she was gone." He shrugged.

"And with the heavy rain there was no way to track her." Kar nodded in affirmation. "I'm sorry things had to happen the way they did. If only I'd been able to get word to you that I was alive. Skart tried, but Fell had already left by then and he didn't want to leave me on my own. He was the one who told me how to find you."

Kar looked confused. "He was here?"

"No. He sent someone else – a cousin, I think. I don't really remember much of my time there to be honest. Just that Skart rarely left my side."

"He stayed with you all that time?" His voice grew tender at the thought; much more pleasant than the firm tone he spoke with before.

I smiled to myself. "Yes, he did. It seems like he always finds me when I'm broken." As a stray thought made its presence known in my mind, my heart began to pound and my muscles tensed. I tried to control my pulse but it was too late. Kar and I were lying so closely to each other that he was sure to have noticed my sudden change in demeanor. Instead of asking what had me so agitated he remained silent, stilled in response to my body's lack of movement.

It was time to approach the subject we had been avoiding since, well, forever. Back then it was enough knowing how the other felt. Now, though, I wasn't sure what it was that I was feeling. He did not view me as the adopted sister I had been to him, nor did he act as a concerned pack-mate would. We both knew that this conversation was long overdue. Thinking back, this was something we should have talked of upon _his_ return from the dead, not mine. With the lesser topics already breached, we had nothing else to say by means of delaying the inevitable. His steady breathing calmed me to the point where I felt it safe to speak.

I exhaled the breath I wasn't aware I was holding and took the plunge. "Skart was always there to look after me when I needed help…but in the end, you were always the one to heal me." I had never told him how I needed him before because we'd had problems larger than ourselves to face, yet I knew he knew. We'd never required words or actions. Our hearts spoke loudly enough that we both simply knew.

His head snaked around to lie even with mine. Shifting my position slightly I discovered he was looking at me with that _look_ again.

This time I wasn't bothered by it. In fact, I'm pretty sure his expression mirrored my own. Still eying him through my peripheral, I was able to identify the different emotions behind the facial distortions. His eyes portrayed a mixture of fear and confusion while the raised brow indicated surprise. The slackness of his jaw and partially opened mouth hinted that he was attempting to ask a question, but no words were spoken.

After a few minutes of gauging the other's reaction, Kar's eyes furrowed and his ears swiveled back in determination. Still, he looked nervous about something. "Larka…there's something else that I haven't told you," he whispered in a breath.

"Yes Kar?" Embarrassingly enough I squeaked a bit, my heart in my throat. The pounding of blood through veins was so loud in my ears I couldn't tell if it was his or mine. "What is it?"

* * *

**Kar**

I paused, trying to find the words my heart so desperately ached to tell her.

The first time I met the white she-cub turned my world upside down. My parents had just been killed, my brothers and sisters taken by the Balkar, and Skop wanted to introduce me to his sister's pack. Huttser and Fell had disliked me straight off, I knew, but Larka… She made me feel welcomed, _wanted_, even. I relied on her strength more than she knew.

It took me some time to see the change within myself and longer yet to realize just what the change was. My life was so unrealistic I felt like it was a lie, a story I made up for the cubs. After all, I was an adopted orphan whose playmates lives were molded to fulfill a prophecy made long before they were born. The pack was hunted by humans and by a vindictive relative.

I sent thanks to Fenris everyday that we were able to keep our sanity…to some extent, anyway.

Now that Larka and I were reunited, all of my time was spent in an attempt to give her the normal life she longed to have. I knew she needed some space for the time being, but I couldn't find it in me to give it to her. Some new, deep-seeded need propelled me to stick to her side like moss to a stone. The shortest periods of separation left me feeling hollow and nervous. The past few days I had spent dealing with these irrational emotions, not knowing what to attribute them to. Now I had my answer.

This time around I wanted to be selfish – I wanted to keep Larka safe. I was terrified that another would come and steal her away from me. Every mention of Fell's return brought bitter thoughts to mind, mostly concerning Rar coming to claim his prize. Perhaps it was unfair of me to think of him as a rival, but, he had been the one to tend to her in her time of need. _What if he feels she owes him?_ No matter how hard I tried to convince myself otherwise, I could not thank Rar with the prospect of him separating Larka from me again.

Logically I knew that Larka's affection for me were plain as day. The pressing issue was my complete disregard for logical thought where she was concerned. At some point I even toyed with the idea of digging the deepest den I could manage. I could hide Larka deep in some hole while I sat guard out front. It was such a simple solution…

...until one figured in the fact that Larka would not be holed-up so easily. Even in my dreams Larka knew me better than I knew myself. _'Perhaps love takes cunning, Kar. I despaired, too, and at the last it made me believe even more in a pack and a mate and cubs. Believe in life, Kar, and freedom. Be true to your own nature, but don't let it turn on itself. And, Kar, love is not a commandment, it is a need, as real as eating. But, like the oriole in the old, old story, love must be free, as free as the birds. Free to leave and free to return.'_ I had not forgotten those words. No matter how old I lived to be, I would never forget those words.

Staring into those eyes, suddenly everything made sense. I loved her. Every fiber of my being howled out to me that what I felt was as chance and fleeting and unreliable as the weather. I knew just how fragile life was and as a Dragga I felt the stirrings to protect myself, my pack…and my mate. Contrary to the many other Lera, a varg mates for life. With Morgra mad and on the loose, it had not been practical to bind ourselves to each other. What was the point? Secretly I'd wondered if our lack of communication on the subject resulted from watching Palla and Huttser's relationship slowly disintegrate. They had always fought back then… At the time it was enough for me to know that she preferred my company over others.

That was, at least until my instincts started influencing my thoughts. There was only one thing to do now, and I just had to control myself long enough to actually put my thoughts and feelings into words. I took a deep breath, exhaling slowly.

Or I could always take the easy way out.

* * *

**Larka**

"Well, Huttser seems to think that I have already claimed you as my mate…in the general sense. Or the literal – I'm still not quite sure about what goes on in that head of his." _Well at least he has the decency to look embarrassed_. "I told him we'd never spoken about a life together, or starting a pack, or anything really, but he's always been stubborn and I can't convince him otherwise. Is there something you haven't told me?" The mischievous look in his stunningly golden eyes let me know that he was teasing me. _What does he mean by that? Why is he joking at a time like this?_

My only option was to continue on in a playful manner. "I didn't say anything to him. It must have been you. After all, you've spent the better part of a year with him and I just met you a few days ago." I smiled, pleased by his insulted expression and merry eyes. How long had it been since we'd bantered back and forth so merrily?

"Be that as it may, you must have said something to him, or he wouldn't be so persistent."

I shook my head. "What I want to know is what _you_ said. You aren't pinning _this_ on me."

He chuckled, his head bobbing up and down as he realized how quickly I'd caught on. "Really, I never said anything to lead him on. He's more observant than we give him credit for. Either that, or he sees things he wants to see." He shifted closer to me, practically lying on top of me, but it was a welcome closeness.

I knew he loved me…he'd just never said so. I studied his soft golden eyes, searching for _that_ look he always seemed to wear around me now. It was there, but mixed with something I'd never seen in him before. There was this intensity to his expression, something like determination but that gave him the appearance of teetering on insanity. I wondered at the change.

Kar had never appeared so…_possessive_ before. We were lost in each other's gaze, our conversation forgotten.

And I was frightened. I knew that I would not be able to endure his scrutiny much longer before I broke. I had secrets that could never be confided in him. I'd do anything to keep him out.

I tried not to imagine the hurt that would surely show in his eyes the moment he discovered how desperately I longed to run from here, for him. _What would I possibly say to him?_ It's not as if I could say, 'I love you,' when every hair on my body was screaming 'RUN!' All I wanted was to remove any connection between me and my old life – and those who'd shared it with me. I'd caused them so much pain already. How could I put them through that again? I knew it would happen. They were already after Fell, and if word spread about my survival, surely I would become the next quarry in the removal of _unnatural_ beings. All I ever brought with me was chaos.

Yet…the way Kar was looking at me stilled my heart. I didn't have a choice in the matter, it turned out. All of the unspoken love and devotion he felt for me was shining in his beautiful eyes. The way he held my nervous gaze made me wonder if he had not already seen through my defenses. He saw my fear and my desire to run, but he was going to fight against my feelings. I had guessed that he would fight any male who presumed to steal me away from him, as our fathers fought for our mothers before us.

I hadn't expected that he would need to be willing to fight _me_.

Kar's eyes told me there was not a chance in the world that I would be able to escape him. _But isn't that the way that it's always been between us?_ Larka runs and Kar follows. Was that what he'd been trying to tell me while he told the cubs the story before? Instead of facing my opposition head on I gave in. It would never work. Every time I attempted to leave my family for their own protection something awful happened. It was time I learned my lesson.

I met his gaze with a solidified resolution, and in an instant we'd reverted back to our old selves. It wasn't necessary to speak our feelings – we knew how we felt. I knew that, should I bring the wrath of some new maniacal pack upon myself, Kar would always be there to watch my tail. I also knew that without his calm and constant presence I would over think myself into insanity. We basked in the company we craved more than air, eager to live our lives as free Varg, longing for the day when the most to trouble us would be choosing the next hunting venue. Fell was going to need us – we had to be prepared for whatever we may face.

I allowed myself a contented sigh. "I still think you said something to him."

"You're right, I did. Are you upset?"

"It depends on what you said."

"I told him I loved you."

"That's funny. I told Palla the same thing."

* * *

**Please to be of the reviewing mood.**


	8. Ch 7

**I apologize if this chapter only makes sense to me. I've been sick for the past five days, so naturally I have had lots of time to finish this chapter. I have slightly more important things that still need done, but I missed Kar.**

**And yes, Fell is in this one.**

**I think the font changes are pretty self-explanatory, but here's a clarification anyhow.**

_Thoughts/Visions_

_**Morgra**_

'Fell talking in his head', because he's just crazy like that

**The Kerl~

* * *

**

**Chapter 7**

"Clinging to the remnants of perfection like most do before they break it,

Not knowing which direction's the correct one –

Do I discard or remake it?

'Cause if I don't know, then I don't know.

But I may know someone who knows me more than I

And if I somehow rest this soul

Maybe control can find its way back to my life."

– _**Curl Up and Die,**_** Relient K**

**Larka**

With the fallible mind of the Varg comes a less than perfect memory. There were the faces, moments that I knew would stay with me for the rest of my days. There were also the ones I knew that I _should_ remember, but drew a blank instead. I knew there were no more latent memories that the passage of time would allow me to recover. What I knew, I knew. For instance; I could clearly remember fighting Morgra at Harja. I remember the taste of her dingy fur in my mouth and the sound of my heart pounding when I first realized that the bridge was crumbling beneath us, but by Tor I couldn't remember why we'd been fighting there in the first place.

I suppose it must have been important, because I nearly died that day. I would have to remember things more accurately in the future.

Kar and I were slowly making our way back through the tree line when Skop found us. His ears stood on end and his tail wagged so furiously that I thought his hind paws were actually bouncing in place. There is only one thing in the world that could bring such joy to a young wolf.

"Larka! Kar! Mother's just told us we're to go for our first hunt tomorrow!" At her brother's voice, little Larka rushed over to us and was nearly bowled over by Khaz in the process. Only Kipcha was strangely absent. I looked around to find her sitting quietly with Huttser. My confusion turned to embarrassment as soon as I realized that the cubs were all speaking to me.

" – and I'm going to wake up before sunrise, even if – "

" – and they said that you two _have_ to come – "

"Larka, you need to tell her that she's being silly because – "

" – but what happens if we don't find anything to hunt?"

" – because if you two don't come, Father will be very – "

" – although I told him that I bet I can track better than he can – "

" – but I told him he can't because I always sneak up on him and AAARRRRGGGGHHH!" Skop's yelp turned into a growl as Kar leapt upon the first cub he could find. He had Skop pinned to the ground by his shoulders, but Khaz soon removed his brother's attacker. Kar was flipped over by the unexpected assault. Larka, who'd scrambled out of the pile, gave a ferocious (for her) growl and dove into the writhing mass of males at my feet. Kipcha, unsure about whether or not she wanted to join her siblings, carefully tread over to the tussle. Skop wriggled out and was preparing to renew his attack when I carefully nudged him out of the way and into his sister.

With a bored yawn I flung myself upon Kar, who'd just managed to right himself by placing his forepaws upon the upturned bellies of Larka and Khaz. Kar cried out in surprise, more from the fact that he'd expected a much lighter Skop to come at him than me. He toppled over, pinned between the squirming cubs and my dea-weight. I did my best to feign sleep while everyone tried to push me off of the top of the pile. In the end I found myself at the bottom of a new mound, my muzzle pressed to the ground. _How did I end up all the way down here?_ Without looking I knew who was directly above me. I could feel the laughter resonating from his chest through my back.

And it was time for payback. How many stories had he told the cubs in the past few days – all at my expense?

Under the crushing weight of Kar and – if the sound of Kipcha's giggling from directly overhead meant anything – all four of my younger siblings, I managed to twist around so that my head was directly under Kar's neck. I opened my jaws around the soft fur and softy clamped down enough that he could feel the pressure of my teeth through his coat. The resulting growl was something I'd never heard from him before. This was so much more than a playful sound. _Interesting_. I released him and instead licked the length of his throat. He whimpered and began scrabbling about to topple the mound of bodies off of the both of us. I heard shouts of protest coming from all sides as I was finally given room to stand up.

"Well done, Larka. I think we may make a Putnar of you yet." I realized that Huttser and Palla were both shaking with laughter. I knew it was from my rather impressive display of my feminine wiles, but why did they have to bring up that sore point again?

The only words that came to mind were an indignant, "I am perfectly capable of hunting for myself." _Now you sound like Skop. How very mature of you._

"Of course you can," interjected a grumpy Kar. It was about time he stood up for me. "You hunt fine, Larka. You just prefer to let others do it for you."

I growled in response. _Nobody_ questioned my abilities, even if they thought themselves immune to my wrath. "Well if _that's_ how you feel about it, I'll just have to prove you wrong, won't I?"

Our argument lasted much longer than it needed to, but we were both unwilling to back down. Eventually Huttser berated Kar for putting me on his bad side 'when they all _knew_ that we weren't the fighting type'. We paused then, thinking back to the long arguments my parents had with each other when we were cubs. _Are Kar and I really like they were?_ One look at his abashed expression told me we weren't. We were just playing, after all. He knew that I could care for myself just as well as I knew he was joking.

"Larka, have you ever hunted for yourself?"

"Of course! You know that I have. You and Fell saw my first kill."

"In that case, I humbly beg your forgiveness…and dare you to out-pounce Kipcha on that log over by the oak."

"I accept both your forgiveness and your challenge. Kipcha?"

The rest of the day was spent playing and preparing the cubs for their big day. Worried despite my earlier protests, I used this time to fully assess my recovery. As long as I didn't over-exert myself when jumping, I was as healthy as I'd ever been. This reassured me that I hadn't been arguing in vain with Kar. When we finally herded the young ones into the den for the night, Huttser and Palla waited outside to speak with us.

"Am I to take it that you have finally talked?" Huttser's eyes glittered in a way that I rarely saw growing up. Excluding the fleck of green, those were Fell's eyes.

Kar chuckled. "Yes, I suppose we _did_ speak of a few things." He was giving me _that_ look, but this time there was that something that I wasn't used to seeing in his golden eyes. It reminded me of fire, I decided. Still, the mockery was evident in his tone, so I glowered at him in response.

Palla caught out interaction and laughed. "What are your plans?" There was a sadness to her voice. She didn't want us to leave any more than we wanted to, but it was the way of nature. If we did not leave Huttser would be forced to drive us from the pack, but part of me wondered if he would really do that. It took a moment for me to realize what she was really asking, though.

I looked to Kar, who nodded. "We want to help Fell. He needs us…and to be quite honest I'm not sure why, but I know that he needs us. That is our plan." Huttser nodded his approval before turning and silently padding into the dark confines of the den. Palla followed her mate.

Kar and I padded silently to our sleeping spot beneath the tree. The night was unusually cool, so we curled up to stay warm. Kar spoke first.

"Does seeing the future ever bother you?" I met his eyes and he seemed genuinely curious. "I mean, I would imagine that if you saw something that you didn't want to happen would be upsetting, but would you rather not see anything at all?"

I had to think out my response carefully. "When I look into water with a purpose – when I _know_ what I'm looking for – I can deal with what I see because most of the time I expect what will happen. For instance I look to see if Fell is safe. There are two possible circumstances: either he is dead or he is alive. Those are the only two things I care about, so I will see one of them. Sometimes I catch flashes, though. Those times, when I'm not concentrating, usually hurt more."

Kar was not satisfied. "Can I have an example?"

"Why?"

"Well, I want to know what you've had to see. I don't want you to keep everything inside anymore. It isn't healthy. Remember Brassa…" I sighed. He was right, but I'd never planned on telling him this. It would hurt him that I hadn't told him.

"It will only upset you. You will be angry with me"

"Angry with you? If that's the case, I'll send Larka after you. That one can _bite_."

Despite myself I laughed. "Like I said, these flashed are random. Normally I have to look into the water and want to see something for it to work, but other times the tiniest glimpse of water will trigger a vision. When I first found Tsarr and Skart, I spent a lot of time on my own. I hated that I'd run from Huttser and Palla and gotten you killed. I hated that Jarla nursed Bran like he was her own. I wanted to kill him. I felt like my future was already decided for me, and I hated that I didn't want any part in it. One of these visions showed me you." His ears perked slightly. "I was convinced you were dead, but there you were in the water. Your fur was different, though. Like it is now. I thought someone was trying to play a bad trick on me."

He nuzzled me, comforting me with his presence. I took a breath and continued. "When you came back, I knew that the Sight would never lie to me. Everything I'd seen came true. Then, before Harja – " my voice broke, but I was determined to tell him now. "It was raining that night. I wasn't looking anywhere in particular, just wondering what was going to happen to us all. I saw – saw the bridge." I couldn't go on as I remembered the terror I'd felt that night.

Kar inhaled sharply. "You mean you saw yourself fall? And you never said anything?"

"I told you you'd be angry."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Part of me was still in shock. I mean, we usually aren't aware of what sends us to the Red Meadows until it happens. I didn't want you to do anything foolish, either. If I'd told you, and you tried to prevent me from crossing the bridge in the first place – who knows what could have happened. It had to happen that way. And maybe it's for the best," I added.

He didn't like my answer. "For the best! How was everyone thinking you _died_ for the best?"

"Just look at what's happened with Fell. At least no one will come after me if they think I'm dead. It's better this way."

His head hung, accepting the truth but disliking it nonetheless. "Perhaps, but what you did and what Fell did were so different."

"Were they? I can't be sure. It seems we both spread an equal amount of hope and fear. Why did you want to know all of this anyways?"

"Aside from the obvious reason, what Palla said got me thinking…"

"Ah-ha." I shot him a knowing smile.

He chuckled, his ears flopping on top of his head. "No, stop that. What I meant was that I wondered if you'd ever planned for things to work out one way, only for the Sight to show you that what you planned would never happen."

"So you wanted to know if I just avoided making plans altogether and relied on my ability to see the future, or if I enjoyed seeing my hopes dashed."

"Not exactly, but in a sense, yes."

I allowed a wide grin to spread across my face. "In that case, allow me to clarify. I very much intend upon us leaving the pack and traveling to some place far away where we've never been heard of. You will hunt for me when I start having cubs like we we're the last two wolves in the world, and I won't allow you to name _any_ of them after us. We have quite enough Larka's as it is thank you."

His grin matched mine. "Really? All of that?"

"Yes, and anyone who tries to stop me will have my teeth to answer to. Satisfied?"

He settled down for sleep, so I curled into his side. "Immensely. But promise me you won't keep these visions to yourself anymore. We dumber, less-worthy creatures would appreciate being able to help you when you need it. And I think I'd like to know how much more hunting I will have to do for you before we run off together."

I ignored most of that. "You aren't dumb."

"Yes, I am, because I'm just now remembering to ask you what in the name of Fenris you were trying to do to me earlier. And with the cubs there!" His head was back in the air, a dubious expression on his face. _So that's what he's going on about._ I raised my head to meet his, licked his muzzle, and returned my head to my paws.

"Nothing you need to worry about yet, Kar."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

We woke in the morning to a yapping pack of children. They were beside themselves with excitement, for the first hunt is the greatest thing there is to Putnar. I found myself just as eager, hoping to make it through the hunt without making a fool of myself…or getting someone killed. For a split second I'd debated staying behind, but I knew that Kar wanted me to go and he wasn't going to allow me to stay here without him. Deciding that preventing history from repeating itself had to begin somewhere, I dutifully took my place beside Kar in the hunting party. _Besides, four hunters are better than three._

Huttser and Palla led us to a pre-determined area while the cubs made up the rear of our group. It was nice, hearing their hushed and elated tones. They were so much more naïve and good-humored than Fell and I had been. Where their stories were of flying rabbits and herla with the power to climb trees, ours had been of Wolfbane and Morgra. Our aunt's presence had disrupted so many aspects of my life; it was good to see how life moves on. I knew that I would do what I could to protect this next generation from the ever present darkness that seemed to follow our family.

Kar caught me watching them over my shoulder and smiled affectionately. I smiled back, remembering my earlier conclusion that he'd make an excellent father. I realized for the first time that someday I would most likely discover the truth of the matter for myself. Disconcertingly enough he read something in my expression that gave away my thoughts and his smile grew wider. Embarrassed, I looked away, focusing on the steady swaying movement of Palla's tail. I noticed that it swung in time with Huttser's. Somehow their tails would flicker towards the other at the exact same moment, allowing the seemingly impassive Dragga and Drappa to show their affection for each other without anyone noticing. _They've changed so much. I'm happy for them._

I tested the air as we walked, knowing that any quarry would be quite a ways away. There was a cool breeze rustling the leaves above us. Through the foliage I could make out the presence of low clouds moving in. _Rain_. We were going to need to move quickly if we wanted to find any clear tracks. Old ones were sure to be washed away by the downpour, and scenting out our prey would be nearly impossible through the water. Huttser came to this conclusion as well and instructed the cubs to move quickly and silently.

Palla uncovered the scent of herla some time later. Huttser redirected the family in search of the lera. The cub's excitement escalated to the point where they were shivering in their coats. Our instincts were telling us to creep silently through the undergrowth. As Putnar we slunk in the shadows, carefully avoiding dry twigs and leaves, anything that would sound our arrival. The doe was in a small clearing with her fawn – they hadn't noticed our presence yet. Kar and parted to circle around our meal while Palla and Huttser stayed upwind with the cubs. I could feel every muscle in my toned body as I crawled into position behind a berry bush.

I knew the instant the doe realized that something was wrong. The other lera in the area had already fled from our approach. The intense quiet was nerve-wracking for the mother. She kept her head to the ground, pretending to continue grazing. Her ears gave her away. They were swiveling forward and backward on the top of her head. Her wide eyes jumped about erratically as she tried to plan a way to escape. I could imagine the thoughts buzzing through her head. She could charge us and give her fawn time to escape. She could hide him, but then the clearing was too small for that. The faint tickling sensation in the back of my head alerted me to the fact that I was allowing myself to become dangerously close to the doe. I shut out the feeling, closing myself to the Sight. _Thank you, Tsarr, for teaching me how to do that._

I began to salivate as the wind changed, blowing her scent in my direction – and consequently the pack's scent in her direction. She froze.

We bolted at the same time. She came straight for me as I rushed her headlong, snarling. She veered right and Kar leapt from his spot, causing her to turn. She kicked out, but her aim was off and went wide of Kar's curled muzzle. Palla and Huttser had already come to our aid. Despite the terrifyingly insistent bellows coming from his mother the poor fawn was too frightened to move. Palla took him down in a matter of seconds. Normally we would leave the young to fend for themselves, but it had been a long time since any of us had hunted and the extra sustenance wouldn't go to waste.

Kar snapped at the doe's heels as we closed in on the animal. The bloodlust had taken over and the deer ceased to be a creature to me. She was an it. _It_ was not a mother. _It_ wasn't something to admire from a distance. It was prey. It was walking meat, plain and simple. Our job was to make the meat stop walking. She reared on her hind legs to box with her front hooves, this exposed her back to Huttse. He soared through the air and onto her back, locking his strong jaws around her neck. It wasn't a killing blow, but it did bring her down. He held her to the ground as I padded up and tore her throat out, blood spilling over the ground.

Palla, fighting the bloodlust in order to remember her duty as mother and instructor, called to the cubs in a gruff voice. They eagerly approached the carcass of the larger animal, hunger plainly written on their faces. Huttser tore into the doe's thick haunch; Palla attacked the shoulder with a fervor I clearly remembered. Instead of being frightened of the intensity of the feast, I grew hungry. Kar, who would normally be the next in the pecking order, waited for me to begin before he tore off a large chunk himself. It was too big for him to swallow whole, so we tugged at both ends, tussling over the larger half.

As we ate the rain started, intensifying the scent of our kill. It was everywhere. I raised my head, not thinking. The rain swirled and I was met with an image of myself. Actually, it was the entire pack. They were standing around a pair of carcasses…_I could smell my scent on the berry bush I'd hid behind during the hunt…My anger was threatening to overwhelm me…and the other me was staring off into the distance before her head whipped around and an intense pain caused me to cry out –_

_Larka_, whispered a quiet voice.

The thought brought me crashing back to reality and my head whipped around, just as it had done in my vision. I was staring in the direction of the bush, my heart crashing painfully in my chest. I took a cautious step forward, ignoring Kar's voice somewhere behind me.

_It's him. He's here.

* * *

_

**Fell**

The knowledge that Cadea had assisted in Larka's recovery was the only thing keeping her alive at this point.

She hadn't said a word to me since that first day…over two weeks ago. Oddly enough the silence was infuriating. The stream of invasive questions had irritated me before, but it was nothing compared to the silence. I knew killing her would do the opposite of solve my problem, but her absence would at least provide me an excuse for my present state.

_**Of course not, darling. But it would make you feel better, now wouldn't it? You've been so upset lately. It would make you feel better to take out your frustrations on someone who won't put up a fight**_. Morgra was dead and still trying to use me. Was she really so powerful? Or was I truly so pathetic?

'Because I need someone who will fight back,' I growled in response to the voice in my head.

_**I suppose you're right. Though, blinding her and watching her stumble around could be fun.**_

'No. I'm not going to do that anymore.'

_**I can make you**_**.**_** How long has it been since you've had a good torture?**_

I laughed at the petulant voice. 'How can you make me if you're not real? I hope you are aware of the fact that you've died. I saw your remains with my own eyes.'

_**Then why is it that you are still speaking to me?**_

She always had a point – and that was what drove me mad. Cadea followed behind me like a ghost, silent as the wind. I felt odd; conflicted, even. While I preferred to be alone, the fact that I was with company and still hearing voices – voices that did not belong to my company – was upsetting. I should be hearing Cadea's voice instead of Morgra's. I didn't want to speak with the she-wolf, but if speaking out-loud made the voices go away…well, it was something to think about.

_**She knows about Larka. Do you really think she'll keep her pretty mouth shut once she gets what she needs? She'll head straight to the Balkar when she's through with you.**_

'That's what you want me to think. I saw the truth of the pain in her face when she told me she couldn't hunt. It was the same look Larka wore.' If I could help her, I would. _And then I'll send her on her way._ I had enough to deal with as it was.

"We should find somewhere to shelter before the storm closes in." I'd been so locked in my internal debate that I was startled by Cadea's observation.

"No. We are nearly there. We should keep moving." However much joy speaking to a living being brought me, Cadea's observations still annoyed me.

"Fell, we've been running since yesterday. We can't keep this pace for much longer."

"If we move faster, we will be there faster. We are nearly there." _We must be a short sprint from the den by now._

"So you say," she snorted.

"We crossed the boundary yesterday afternoon. We are nearly there," I ground out through my teeth.

"Oh."

It was the first conversation we'd had since our fight. I realized now why we hadn't spoken to each other: our talks ended in a confrontation.

I would never admit it, but she typically proved to be in the right. Even then I could feel the air around me thickening. Sounds of the smaller Lera were less noticeable than before. Unlike us, they were seeking a safe place to weather the storm. We kept moving.

When the rain finally began to fall, we kept moving. Cadea plodded along behind me noisily, clearly angry and reluctant to say so to my face. I was trying to focus on the spaces between the raindrops, but a low growl of frustration from my companion broke through my concentration. The insult dangling on the edge of my tongue was stopped as my concentration shifted.

I smelled blood. Lots of blood. Enough blood that it was most certainly brought down by Putnar. Perhaps…

"Fell?" Cadea whispered to my still figure. I turned in time to see her nose twitch towards the same tantalizing scent. She nodded, signaling she understood, and we slunk along through the undergrowth.

That was when I first caught the scent of _her_. I picked up the pace and followed the trail. Perhaps I could find her before the rain washed her scent away.

The trail brought us to a bush. It was strongest here, meaning she must have lingered before – My thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of wolves scuffling and meat tearing. I carefully peered through the leaves of my hiding place and caught sight of what was unmistakably my family. The cubs grew so quickly! Here they were, already on a hunt.

The familiar constricting of my heart made it hard for me to breathe. I wasn't sure what was causing it this time.

_**You know very well what the problem is, Fell. You know that will never be happy – be loved – like Larka is. Your father always liked her best. You can never belong to a family. It wasn't until you came to me that you learned how to belong to anything. Even now, you are bringing more trouble to your family. You know you are dangerous, Fell.**_

'That's not true.' There was no way to deny the truth her voice whispered to me all day long, but I still pretended to disagree with her. I was a threat to anyone around me. My temper prevented me from thinking with a level head, and the few times I did find myself in control of my actions Morgra's voice was there to poison my thoughts.

I was insane. It was a surprise that I'd managed to keep Cadea safe this long.

I started when I felt a cool nose press my shoulder. Cadea jumped back, surprised she'd startled me. I didn't care that she was scared. The blaze in my eyes was a physical pain, but the cause was far from me. _Why am I so angry?_ Reflecting, I knew it had nothing to do with Cadea. It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that my family seemed to be getting on well without me. That would mean that my mood was attributed to jealousy. I was never jealous.

Ignoring Cadea I continued spying on the pack as they ate. Oddly enough, I'd only witnessed wolves at the feast a few times in my life. The Balkar left carcasses for me to find, so I always ate alone. Returning to the pack I'd kept up the behavior. Of course, I'd seen Cadea eat what I brought her, but this was different. Before me were eight wolves, each as lost to the bloodlust as the next. They growled and snapped and snarled at each other, fighting for the choicest cuts. Had it been this way on my first hunt? I remembered so little of it. I could clearly recall that Larka ran off, but I wasn't sure when. My eyes had been blinded by a red haze I was all too familiar with. Khaz died that day. Watching my family tear at the nearly indistinguishable herla, I could nearly taste the meat in m already salivating mouth. The juicy red meat –

And there it was. _My white coat was drenched through with rain and blood. The meat in my mouth was warm. Disoriented, I paused, trying to comprehend what was happening. Kar, now standing to my left, noticed my change and asked what the matter was. His eyes were worried beneath the excitement of the hunt. My-head-that-wasn't-mine swung around and looked back to where I knew my body was. I grew anxious, excited. Through the bits of flesh in my nose I could barely make out my scent. The wind had changed…_

Just like that I was seeing through my own eyes again. Larka was staring straight at me.

And Cadea's teeth were clamped painfully around my tail.

I yelped, turning and snarling at the offending she-wolf. She spat my tail out but stood her ground, more than likely anticipating my reaction. We glared at each other for a few moments, willing the other to submit. Her tail raised – mine raised higher. My ears flattened against my skull – she bared her teeth. _Why is she being so defensive? It's not like – wait – why are we fighting?_ I lowered my head infinitesimally as an exasperated sigh rolled from my lips. _I'll deal with this after I figure out how to tell Larka that the Balkar are after us…again._

"Fell."

"Fell?"

"Fell!"

_Now or never,_ I thought that they were aware of my presence, I slowly padded through the green blind before me and met the expectant and joyful faces of my family. And Larka. For a moment I felt as though nothing out of the ordinary had prevented our lives from progressing as a _normal_ Varg's should. Palla and Huttser were simply out for a hunt with their children. Nothing here was strange. I wondered at my prior feelings of apprehension. Larka, Kar and I were together again.

Then Kar adopted a defensive position in front of Larka, whose eyes were opened wide and tail swung back and forth lazily. Palla hushed Skop. Huttser looked happier than he'd ever been during my cubhood. And –

"Where is Slavka?" I hadn't intended those words to be the first to break this overwhelming silence. I wanted to say something more suitable for the moment – perhaps exclaim how delighted I was to finally be reunited with my family, safe and well. Not that I would ever allow myself to be delighted in anything, though. _**Leave it to you to dwell on life's miseries**_, the voice muttered.

Kar took another cautious step in my direction, glancing nervously towards something behind me. "She's gone." Larka continued to stare at me in disbelief. "She left a moon or so after you."

"Oh." _What's wrong with me? Why is it so difficult have a normal conversation with my family?_

He tilted his gore-covered muzzle in my direction. "Care to introduce us?" Larka shook her head and looked to see what Kar was talking about. Her face instantly grew cold and emotionless. What were they –?

Leaves rustled behind me as Cadea entered the clearing. _Ah._ "No need. Larka knows me." Kar visibly relaxed. What had gotten him so riled up in the first place?

"I – Cadea? Is that really you? It's so good to see you again." She seemed genuinely pleased to see the other she-wolf, slightly lessening my worries for bringing her with me. Having finally regained her composure, Larka made her way towards us. "Hello, Fell. I'm glad to see you are well." I didn't miss the inflection she used. _She knows about Brak._

"Hello, Larka. It's a pleasant surprise to see you're _alive._" I remembered only too well how we'd all fallen to pieces when we thought her dead. If _I_ had heard the rumors of Larka's survival, the Balkar were bound to know by now. I had to keep her safe. I wasn't crazy enough to believe that seeking Brak out on my own would be enough to protect the pack, but if it would help keep them safe…help atone for what I'd done…

She ignored my jibe. "What just happened?" Her question came out as a whisper.

I found myself snorting. "Why are you asking me? You're much more acquainted with the power than I am."

"Something tells me that isn't true," she smirked.

"There is an annoying voice in my mind that seems to agree with you." It was always there, jumping at any opportunity to anger me beyond the point of control.

"Come brother. We have much to talk about; but first let us eat. You must both must be hungry."

Just like that, I was once again a member of the pack. It didn't feel like 'home', but it was something. Maybe this was a paw in the right direction. In many ways I had missed them, but the freedom of being on my own, able to be myself – that was what I craved. I hated the act I put on to spare others from my pain. Cadea and I shared the fawn, both eating our fair share. Instead of staring at me, the cubs constantly sent questioning looks towards the she-wolf across from me. Cadea pretended not to notice.

I thought while I ate. Larka seemed to know that there was more going on than the others realized. Or perhaps they knew. _But then why isn't Huttser in full dragga form right now? Surely, my presence would set _him_ on his guard._ It didn't add up. It was like the sight of me quelled any fears they had. I couldn't make heads or tails of it.

_**And as we all know, what you don't understand only serves to anger you.**_

Again, she was right. She was always right.

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**Well, I hoped you like it. The plot will pick up after this chapter, and Cadea won't be such a dead-weight. It's amazing what you can get done when you're bedridden! Hope you all got your flu shots!**

**(And please, don't wish me sick so I will write more – that's just cruel)**


	9. Ch 8

**Short chapter, so I'm giving you two. The next one is longer – promise. Sorry about the use of another Disney quote, but these things just happen.**

**Thank you to wolfgirlnowandforever for being my unofficial beta for this chapter. You're awesome!**

**The Kerl~

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**

**Chapter 8**

"_They're different from us,_

_Which means they can't be trusted."_

– _**Savages (Part 1),**_** Disney's Pocahontas**

Our search was not going as planned. I am not sure why I felt that tracking Wolfbane would be easy, but he was proving to be an elusive adversary. We'd interrogated the old rebel for days and discovered nothing of consequence. The fool kept muttering to herself. We brought her food, hoping to restore her strength so that she would be of more use to us, but she refused to eat. It was only a matter of time before she passed and we were left with nothing. The pack was growing weary as the days grew shorter. If we did not find him by winter, we would be forced to bed down somewhere for the winter. Past experience had proven that tracking in the winter was pointless.

If that were to happen, and we had to wait for the spring to come before we resumed our efforts, I had a plan. There were seven of us together, too large and aggressive a group to join with another pack. If we were to disperse ourselves amongst various packs in the area, however, we could lie in wait for any news of the black wolf. The only thorn in this solution was the fact that we were Balkar, and each of us too intimidating and strong to be allowed to join as a mere member.

We were born to lead.

A twig snapped behind me. I twisted around, a loud snarl rippling through the morning air. Ghaat's fur bristled, but he held his ground. "Ghaat – what news?" I demanded. We were all on edge, yet my position was more precarious for I was Dragga. Any moment one the males could snap and challenge my position of leadership. This made me more wary than normal, starting at any sound my ears met with.

Ghaat lowered his head in submission, looking at my paws instead of my blaring eyes. "The she-wolf is dead. She said nothing more. The pack wishes to know if we should hunt again before moving on." I was both pleased and offended by the way he spoke to me. It was a familiar way, as though we were equals. His brother, Gherr, would not have made such a mistake. Still, Ghaat had a nose that could track a bird in flight. We needed him. A growl erupted in my throat in agitation, and Ghaat nodded his head. I supposed he mistook my anger with him as frustration that the pack wanted to delay our departure. In fact, I was upset by this.

"They hunted five suns ago. We should leave now, we've wasted enough time here as it is." He nodded in agreement. I thought back to my earlier plans and decided to take a different path in our search. "Gather the pack – it is time to change our course of action." Ghaat backed away with a quiet, "Of course, Brak," and left me to my thoughts. I stared into the sky, hazy with the day's new sun. Already the flying scavengers were flocking toward the place the she-wolf's body rested. Their crowing filled the air, giving the area a sense of morbidity. I snarled to the sky, cursing the filthy scum. One heard me and dove towards where I stood, alighting on a branch just out of my jumping range.

I can't be sure what overcame me, but I spoke to the creature. "Go on, then. We don't want your filth around here. Go on to your meal," I snarled. The bird turned on the branch, raising his tail feathers in my direction. He dropped large, white mass on the ground before me. I jumped back just in time to escape catching the droppings on my muzzle. It turned its head to me and opened its beak, releasing an angry cry. He called out so loudly it left my ears ringing, so hard that I imagined I could hear words in the cry.

"Caaaw missed! Stupid wolves caaaan't take a hint. Don't listen to nobody, stupid wolves. Caaaan't even die properly, stupid wolves. Caaaan't even follow a straight line, stupid white ones. Better dead. Caaaw!" The bird leapt into the air to join its brethren in the feast. Just as the ringing faded from my mind Vantr stepped through the brush, followed by the others. None of them looked pleased, but then the loss of the old she-varg was a hard blow to our campaign.

"Ghaat says you have news. What is it?" Vantr's voice was cold. I was on thin ice, and I needed to win back their loyalty quickly.

I nodded my head and sat, inviting them all to relax. Everyone sat but Vantr, who began pacing around the group. "We are getting nowhere as a group. We need to fan out and question the packs in the area. Perhaps they have knowledge of Huttser's pack."

Menduvlad growled. "We didn't get information that way before, Brak. What makes you think we will have better luck now?" Gherr and Vantr growled along with him, and I knew that they were all in agreement with each other against me.

"Before we worked as a pack, intimidating the few we encountered. The Varg don't want to be intimidated any more. This time we work in pairs and sniff out what we can. The packs may be more willing to divulge their knowledge if they feel more secure. Varg are still settling across the land – roaming dragga searching for unclaimed territories will be much less conspicuous. Who knows, they even allow us to join their packs for a short time." It was all we could do, unless we were to miraculously stumble upon another from Huttser's pack. _If that happens, Fenris would do well to send one in better condition._ "Vantr and I will head west." I needed to make sure he was not causing dissent amongst the others while we separated. "The rest of you will fan out in pairs, or alone, it doesn't matter. Find what you can and meet here in a moon's time. If you happen upon either the pack or Fell, let them be. They must _not_ be forewarned. Surprise is our advantage." Each growled quietly in response, glad to have a plan.

"Brak." Vantr met my piercing gaze with one his own. "Would it not be wiser for one of us to try and infiltrate the pack? We could learn much from them." While it was an intriguing notion, it would never work.

"No, Vantr. Do not for a moment forget Fell's power. He can read minds – he would know of our deception. He must not know our purpose. The Varg fear him equally, so they should side with us, but we cannot risk word getting out. Lying is no new concept for us. Ask about the family, but do not give yourselves away. The moment he runs into hiding is the moment we lose him."

Menduvlad chuckled. "Do you really think that Wolfbane is a Sikla to run and hide from us? He controlled the full number of the Balkar without us ever _seeing_ him. If he chooses to fight…we are no match for him. We would do best to recruit others to our cause."

I leapt to my paws, snarling viciously at this challenge to my authority. "Enough of this foolishness. You believe that others would join the _Balkar_? We were Morgra's pawns. We allowed the fear of Wolfbane to control us. We must correct our wrongs ourselves." I sighed in resignation. Larger number would be beneficial, but we could not afford to be naïve enough to expect help. "Besides, a large pack would only attract attention. We must rely upon the stealth and cunning of the Putnar to achieve our goal. We will not be led astray by talk of gods or demons. We are Balkar – first among the Putnar. Never forget this."

I threw my head back in a howl. The others, caught up in the moment, joined me. Our call shook the morning, sending clouds of frenzied black shapes into the skies. Their shouts of protest were lost to our voices. My muscles shifted, launching me into a sprint. I heard the howl die down and the sound of paws pounding into the earth behind me. Soon there was only the sound of paws on crunchy leaves and the steady breathing two wolves make as they rush through the forest. Vantr caught up to me and ran along my left side. Our eyes met and from his look I knew he was with me.

If Vantr was with me, then so was the rest of the pack. Once again, I was in control.

Nothing could stop me.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

We ran for days, stopping to rest when necessary. We picked up the tracks of a male wildcat and hunted him for another two days. It was old and weak, but it replenished our strength. The exertion of our travel was tempered, and we moved on. With no destination in mind, it was good to finally let go and _run_. _I haven't felt this free since Tratto led us_, I thought to myself. I was once again Balkar, defending those who could not defend themselves. It was our duty and right to protect the Varg from this unnatural creature. I was sure of it.

This assurance lifted my spirits. It also led me to second-guess myself when we encountered our first pack. It was a little over a week before we needed to return to the rest of the pack. As was the new custom, we approached their border offering them all Larka's Blessing. As loyal as I had been to Tratto, this was strange to do, yet we needed to blend in. We were greeted by four wolves.

"Larka's Blessing indeed! I am Nahrl, Dragga of this pack. These are my mate, Rrirha and my children Miko and Shadha. What are you called?" The wolf was certainly Dragga, but it seems as though the years had not treated him as kindly. He had a crick in one of his back legs that clicked when he moved. This gave him a limp that he did his best to hide. His accented hinted at foreign origin. Before last year I would have found it strange to find this wolf so far north, yet the rebel pack had amassed varg from faraway lands. His mate was equally as old. Looking between the four of them, I was certain that these young cubs did not belong to the old ones. Morgra's raids had ensured that no cubs their age were left with their parents. These were certainly foundlings. While old enough to venture out on their own, the cubs remained with their adoptive family. The lot of the were Siklas, and they could be of great use to us. Vantr caught my eye and gave a short nod of approval.

"I am called Brak, and my companion is Vantr. We were Kerl before we joined the rebels. We found that pack life suits us and wish to join a family. Do you know of any nearby packs in this region who would accept us?" Nahrl frowned slightly. _Yes, they will play right into our jaws._

The old dragga looked to his mate, who shook her head sadly. The young ones glanced around nervously. Nahrl was studying us closely, taking in our large builds with a cautious eye. He was not a fool, so he knew better than to immediately trust us, but he could not afford to send us away, either. His pack could use strong males to hunt and defend. This was what I was hoping for. "I cannot think of any at the moment. We are new to this land. Miko and Shadha were born not far from here, yet their family is gone. Perhaps you can accompany us to our den and we can think of something."

"Of course. Thank you, Nahrl." Against my better instinct I lowered my gaze in a submissive gesture. From the corner of my eye I saw Vantr imitating my motions. Nahrl, pleased with our actions, turned tail and led us to the pack den. Vantr and I followed a ways behind, speaking softly.

"Do you think they will take us in?"

I nodded, my eyes trained on the young ones before us. "They cannot afford not to." The female, Shadha, slowed her pace and fell into step beside Vantr. He looked at me in confusion before she spoke.

In a shy voice she asked, "You traveled from the north?" I bit my lips to keep the smile from my face. She was infatuated with Vantr. He was strong and handsome, of course, but had not taken a mate for the same reason none of the Balkar took mates – the Balkar are entirely male. When we longed for companionship we went hunting, using our primal urges for the better of the pack. Occasionally there were intense sparring matches each season, for we could not ignore our instincts when they told us to fight our opposition, but very few left to take mates.

Vantr became aware of the young wolf's attraction immediately. I was grateful, because this could only hope to aid us in joining this pack. "Yes. We were members of the rebel pack gathered in the north." Shadha's eyes flickered away at his words. "You were not at Harja, then?" Nahrl and his mate were far enough ahead that they would not hear our conversation.

"Harja? No. My brother and I were here with Nahrl and Rrirha. We heard about what happened from a pack that came through here not long ago, though. Is what they said really true?" Her brother had fallen back as well, walking in step with me. My body itched to take my place in the front of the group, away from the crowding bodies bringing up the rear, but I had an appearance to maintain. Vantr asked Shadha what she spoke of, and she explained. "We were told that two packs, both led by _drappas_, met in battle below the ancient citadel in the mountains. They told us of ghosts and of a she-wolf who carried a man cub upon her back."

I nodded. "Yes. It is true. Most of them are dead, now." Vantr grinned wickedly as he recalled the part he'd played in fighting the rebels.

Miko shivered in excitement. "So you saw her, then?"

"Who?"

Shadha laughed. "The white wolf, of course! You spoke of Larka's Blessing, so you must know her."

"Yes, we are familiar with Larka." My eyes met with Vantr's again and we shared our amusement. How had they not asked of the vile brother?

Miko and Shadha leapt in front of us, causing us to stop and face them. "You must tell us what happened. The other pack told us things that must have been exaggerated. Rrirha bit at the stories, but we are not so naïve as to believe the tales they told us."

Miko barked in laughter, his tail wagging back and forth. "Of course not. They expected us to believe that this Larka lived."

My brow furrowed. "No, it is true. I saw her with my own eyes. She and our - … I mean, she was killed in a struggle with the leader of the Night Hunters over a great chasm. Both she and Morgra were crushed."

The two siblings looked at each other in astonishment before turning two cautious gazes upon us. The female spoke up. "That is not what they told us. They told us that they saw her just over three moons ago, running through the forest. Have you not heard these rumors?"

Vantr looked at me anxiously. "She died. There is no way in the Red Meadows that she survived that fall. Besides, that pack beneath the mountains would have known if she left…"

"That thrice accursed, stupid son of a Herla! That gods-forsaken whelp of Wolfbane knew all along!" My voice startled the others. I thought back to when we had ventured to Harja to wait for the return of the black wolf. There had been an arrogant male living near the entrance to the mountain path. He'd told us that he was protecting the place from those who wished to disrespect the dead.

_He was covering up the fact that there was only _one_ body crushed beneath the rocks!_

"We need to find the others." Vantr made to leave at that instant, but I held him back.

The old dragga was searching for some hidden explanation. "What others?"

I ignored him and focused on the siblings, who were both pressing into one another in an attempt to make themselves appear smaller and less important. "You two," I growled out. "Where did this pack say claim they saw Larka?"

Shadha was shaking, and Miko put on a brave face to protect his sister. "They claimed they saw her not far from the southern border, running east. They tried to speak to her, but she was oblivious to their presence. They were convinced that it was her spirit, roaming the land in search of something."

"She was looking for him," Vantr whispered quietly. He cast me a glance and began growling loudly. "We have to find them."

"Who was she looking for?" The young female stepped forward cautiously, upset that Vantr was so out of mind. He turned on her, snarling furiously. She cried out and ran for cover behind the old ones. The next moment, Vantr and I took off as quickly as we could. We needed to reassemble the pack before we moved any further.

"How is it that she is still alive, Brak? We saw her and Morgra die before our eyes." I was too confused to answer. _There was so much blood…had we mistaken Morgra's mangled body for Larka's? Something is wrong._ I knew little of the white she-wolf. Morgra had feared her, to be sure, yet I did know where her loyalties lie. She had despised Morgra and was betrayed by Slavka. I assumed that she fought for herself and her family, as she was so eager to save her parents and the man-cub. It would have been the natural way of things, Larka fighting for her family, had Man not been involved and she not had such an obvious advantage over the rest of us. I many ways, Larka was just as dangerous as her brother.

She would have to be taken care of as well.


	10. Ch 9

**I had a nice long note here, but then you don't really want to read that.**

**I did not have Wolfgirlnowandforever beta this for me, because I wanted to get it posted. If you find mistakes, those are all mine. This is mainly filler, though I do finally address the point of the story…somewhat. Sorry if this chapter is somewhat lacking.**

**Again, thoughts are in italics and imaginary voices are in bold italics.  
**

**The Kerl~

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**Chapter 9**

"_My words are nearly always an offence._

_I don't know how to speak of anything_

_So as to please you. But I might be taught_

_I should suppose. I can't say I see how."_

– _**Home Burial,**_** Robert Frost**

**Larka**

_Why is it that all we ever do is fight?_ My reunion with Fell did not go as expected. Where Kar's face had clearly expressed his feelings about my unexpected survival, Fell was more guarded. There was so little of the cub I remembered in him. Unlike I had hoped Fell was every bit as lost and full of anger as he had been at Harja. Simple statements curled his lips in a snarl, leaving us all on edge. Cadea was the most comfortable with him, but I suspected it was because we all knew that this was not our Fell.

His scent was the most familiar to me, with faint traces of the earthy smells I remember. There was the smell of our birthing den; the dirt and old leaves. I could smell the dew on the spring grass of our Meeting Place. His scent was something that always comforted me. The new scents were the part that frightened me. He made me think of deep, dark caves. He smelled of deep forests that were so dense the sunlight was blocked out.

His stood taller than Huttser, now. He was thickly muscled, but the way he slouched you would never notice. His coat was black as night, blacker than it had ever been. It was matted as well, evidence that he'd spent his time living in the dense undergrowth of the forest. What was perhaps the most startling change in Fell was how dark his eyes had become. The unique fleck of green in his right eye was nearly lost in the hollow sadness that haunted the golden orbs.

I was unsure how to act around my brother, and was unsettled by that fact. _No matter what he may have done, he is still the same Fell who sat by me and listened to Brassa's stories when we were younger. I only have to bring that Fell back._ I had no idea how to do that.

At the moment I felt like mauling the stupid idiot. Kar told me I should give him space – that he hadn't yet learned how to deal with everything he'd been through. Of course I understood this, and I told Kar as much. "I don't care what he's been through – there is no excuse for the way he is behaving," I shouted. What gave him the right to drag Cadea all those miles and then ignore her as soon as he'd delivered her to me? What was more inexcusable was the fact that he hadn't spoken five words together since we'd returned from the hunt. It was time he had a piece of my mind. A bewildered Kar watched as I stormed off in search of my brother. I left Cadea with the rest of my family, as the cubs had taken an immediate liking to the young she-wolf.

"Fell!" I cried. I could follow his trail easily enough, but I knew the only way he would speak with me was if he met me halfway. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of digging him out of the hole he was in. If he refused to climb out on his own, I doubted there was much we could really do for him. "Fell, where are you?" He had gone off into the woods, trying to avoid our inquiries. Palla told me that he'd acted this way after my "death," and that they gave him room to think and to grieve. Now that I wasn't dead, I needed to confront the brute.

While I stalked along I realized that the summer was slowly fading away. The first of the trees were beginning to turn. The grass was still green, but it was firmer and less comfortable bedding than fresh spring grass. I actually preferred old grass because new green always turned my coat. For being white, I seldom showed the true color of my fur. Nature frowned upon my coloring.

A low rumbling sound echoed through the air, giving away Fell's hiding place. I stood my ground, glaring at the black area beneath the tree Fell was hiding under. The deep claw marks and fresh earth revealed where he had enlarged the area beneath the gnarled roots. The rumbling increased, goading me along. I didn't want to give in, but I was already upset. My own growl erupted without my permission and was abruptly cut off as the wind was knocked from my chest. I peered up through bleary eyes to find a large black male pressing down on my chest, his jaws opened in a snarl inches from my exposed throat. _If fighting gets whatever is bothering him from his system, then I have no choice but to fight him._

Without warning I rolled onto my stomach, prying him off of me as I stood. His jaws closed around the back of my neck, but he wasn't biting down. _He just wants to prove he's in charge. I don't think so._ I nipped at his right foreleg, bucking him off of me in the process. He yelped, releasing the scruff in his mouth, and was sent flying through the air as a result. Refusing to give him time to recover, I whipped around and bolted for the mass struggling to regain its paws. He pulled himself to his paws just in time to leap away from my attack. We faced each other, snarling. The fur on my back was raised, and I could feel a shiver rushing along my spine. It occurred to me that Fell was fighting me because he didn't know what else to do. Fighting was natural for him. It was how he dealt with unfamiliar circumstances.

He was much like Huttser in that sense.

Taking a deep breath, I forced my body to calm down. It was difficult to do with an angry male so near and ready to fight, but Fell needed to understand that fighting solved nothing. Morgra had shown me that. "Fell," I growled. "You need to stop this."

His words dripped from his mouth like they had when he thought himself Wolfbane. "You think you're going to stop me?"

I snarled back in response. "Look at yourself! Why are you acting this way? You don't have to be this way anymore, Fell."

"That is quite amusing, coming from you. I cannot be anything other than what I am, Larka. You of everyone should know this. Morgra has molded me into a killer – it is all I know."

It was a lie and we both knew it. "Really? Morgra made you this way? By Fenris, Fell, you were _not_ like this as a cub. This is not you."

His teeth flashed in warning and I knew he was preparing to attack again. Still, he was holding himself back. If he had willpower enough for that, then he was not lost to me yet. "What do you know of Morgra? She showed me my true potential. Do you think I enjoy being '_The Dark _One'? She was strong enough that both of us were needed to overpower her. No one can fight her alone."

"Listen to what you're saying, Fell! Morgra is _dead_. She's gone, Fell. She can't hurt us anymore!" I was desperate. How could I make him see how ridiculous this was?

"That's where you are wrong, Sister." He was shaking with anger, but as the words left his body, so did his strength. He slumped to the ground, defeated. My heart ached to comfort him, but his moods were still too volatile. I sat where I was, determined to speak with him.

I gave him a moment to calm down before asking what he meant about Morgra not being gone. It wasn't possible that we'd _both_ survived, was it? "No, Morgra is dead, but… I can't explain it," he sighed dejectedly. "I still _hear_ her, Larka. I saw her body – I know she is dead. It's like spent so much time in her mind that she's in mine, now. She won't go away."

"Fell, she mustn't win. You have to let this go."

"You can't ask that of me. It may be easy for you to forget, but I can't."

"I'm not asking you to forget, Fell. None of us can truly forget what happened."

"Palla told me you lost your memory for a short time." His voice was almost hopeful.

"I did. They tried to keep the truth from me, but too much remained. Palla and Huttser were both so happy, and I kept thinking that something was wrong – that I should be worried about something. I started seeing in the water again and the reality I was told did not match the past that I saw. How could I have been happy as a cub when I saw myself in the water having nightmares? I saw you - ." He needed to understand, but I wasn't sure I was getting anywhere with him. I prayed Tor would give me the patience to help my brother. "Anyways, Kar helped me straighten out my tangled memories."

"Even without your memory of it, you were still able to control the Sight. Impressive."

"Fell, the Sight is a part of us. It cannot control you and you cannot control it – it simply is."

"How can you say that after everything that we've been through? Morgra, and the boy, and – "

I cut him off. "Don't you see, Fell? It was all a matter of choice. The prophecy guided me, but the Sight did not make me follow. I knew that Morgra would use the Vision to control the Varg. I knew that I would fight her and that I would die. There were so many times that I could have run away and freed myself from this burden, but my heart told me that I had to go through with it. It was my choice, Fell.

"The Sight is like an extension of your body. You have sharp teeth for hunting, but this does not make you a killer. It is your choice to decide how and when to use your teeth as a weapon. But are teeth not also used for comfort? When a flea bites at your flesh, you bite at the flea. You could rip out my throat now, but you won't. The Sight is nothing more than a tool – another sense beyond yourself. You know as I do that the Sight does not control you."

"Do I?"

"Yes, or you would not have brought Cadea to me for help. Why did you bring her, anyway? You can't stand to be near me – why would you bring her all of this way."

"She told me she needed your help. She told me what happened, and I remembered how you were unable to hunt when you first discovered your ability. I assumed that you learned to control the Sight in order to survive, so I brought her here." His head dropped to his paws, which he proceeded to place across his muzzle as though he were hiding himself from the world. I couldn't stop what happened next – it was like I lost control of myself, set all of my senses aside and acted on instinct alone. I didn't – I couldn't – know that it would work. I just knew that I had to try.

Moving quickly so that Fell would not have time to pull away from me, I made my way to his side and lay down so we were touching. He twitched as I concentrated upon him next to me, and then it happened again.

I blinked, overwhelmed by my brother's intense anger and revulsion. I felt our bodies jerk apart, and my eyesight shifted as Fell's body rose. We were seeing through each others' eyes, yet we were still in control of our own bodies. _What did you do, Larka?_ His thoughts rang through my mind as clearly as my own. I knew he could understand my thoughts; could feel what I felt. I concentrated on a specific feeling with all that I had. If this didn't make him understand, I wasn't sure that the Sight could heal him as it had me.

I felt him pause in confusion, and though his movement registered in my mind I continued concentrating until I could feel the same emotions I felt coursing through his body. Our eyes met for a moment, and then the connection was severed. "Larka? What _was_ that? I – I don't understand…" The anger was gone from his eyes and I knew I'd done the right thing.

"That was me, Fell. It's how I feel knowing that you were not lost to the river that night, knowing that Palla and Huttser are alive and safe and happy. It's how feel around our family. It's the way that Kar makes me feel…It's completeness, Fell. I know you think that you can never find this on your own, but you need to know that we are here to help you. You aren't alone anymore, Fell. You can come out of the shadows." His eyes shone with understanding for the first time since we'd started talking. With this understanding came a vulnerability that I vaguely remember seeing in him as a young cub. As when we were cubs, I waited for his defenses to cover up for the slip in his control.

It didn't come. Instead, he searched my face for an answer to the unasked question. "Larka, I don't know if I can," he whispered. I licked between his ears in comfort, and he allowed me momentarily to soothe his troubled soul. He snuggled into my side like we had in our birthing den and closed his eyes. _This moment will not last for long, but at least this is progress_, I thought to myself with a small smile. After some time he spoke. "How does that work, exactly?

"How does what work?"

"I mean, how are we able to see through each others' eyes and still keep control of our bodies? It doesn't make sense. I mean, I never experienced that with Morgra."

I thought for a moment. "I don't know – Skart never told me about this ability. Maybe it is because we have a stronger bond as brother and sister. Or maybe it is because Morgra and Tsarr were so much weaker than we are. Tor only knows why this happens to us."

We lay there for some time, both lost in our own thoughts, before the soft crunching of leaves alerted us to Kar's approach. Fell shifted away from me unconsciously and cued me to stand and greet my mate. _My mate_. That thought alone lifted all of the darkness from my heart and I bounded over to Kar to greet him. He licked my muzzle in response and nervously made his way to Fell. From what Kar had told me, their parting had been abrupt and full of tension and unexpressed anger. Kar was angry that his brother was abandoning him, and Fell was angry because…because he was Fell.

Fell stood and greeted Kar in turn, though their exchange was far more formal than friendly. "How are you, Brother?"

"I remember happier times. And you? I see that I should be congratulating you on finally claiming my sister's affections." _How wrong he is_. My affections were Kar's a long time ago. Fell had not loved him as dearly as I had, but the three of us were so close as cubs. We'd laughed and played together, told each other stories, made up… _That's it!_

The two males saw something in my eyes that made their heads cock in question. "Fell! Of course – I can't believe we didn't think of this before! First it was you, and then Kar, and now me. It clears up everything!"

"Larka," hedged Kar. "What is cleared up, exactly?"

"What are you talking about, Larka?" Fell echoed.

I huffed in exasperation but truthfully was too excited to be angry that they'd forgotten. "Don't you remember when we were cubs, and we used to play together and Bran told us those horrid stories about the Stone Den? We were frightened of Morgra, and I was frightened of what was going to happen to the pack. I wanted to run away to find Morgra, but you wouldn't let me. Don't you remember what we did?" Kar and Fell exchanged a glance and answered 'No' at the same time. "We swore by the Stone Spores that we would always be there to fight for each other so that nothing bad would happen to us."

"Larka, we were foolish cubs when we said that – we obviously weren't there for each other. How were we to know all of that would happen to us?" Fell shook his head as I listened in shock. Kar looked like he agreed with Fell. "Besides, Fenris knows that curses and promises mean nothing outside of cubs' tales."

A frustrated growl startled them both. "How can you be sure? You fall through the ice and we all thought you were lost. Kar and I were separated by a fire, and I was sure he'd burned."

He winced. "What makes you think I didn't?"

I shot him a piercing look. "When Skart came and got me, I was convinced that you were both _dead_. For all I knew, Huttser and Palla had fallen through the ice after we left them fighting. And then I found out that you were both alive and I –"

" – and then you died."

"No! You two came back and helped me to defeat Morgra. You were there for me when I needed you most. Now it is my turn to repay the favor."

Kar had a doubtful look plastered across his muzzle. "Do you really think so? I mean, do you really think that our pact saved us, somehow?"

My head bobbed up and down emphatically. "Of course. What are the chances that we were each put in those near-death situations and we each survived?"

Fell's hackles rose, but he managed to contain his anger. _Barely_. "I hope the two of you realize that I have brought this upon myself and that you have no obligation to help me. You do know about them, don't you?"

"About the Balkar? Yes, I have seen them looking for you. But Brother, something worse than the Balkar is troubling you. Tell me."

He fixed me with one of those desperate looks I remember all too well from our youth. For a minute I saw in him the care-free cub he once was. The varg before me now was angry and confused about why he was angry. _There is so much of Huttser in him_. "Larka?" The eyes that met mine were full of hurt and confusion. "Something is happening to the Lera. Cadea isn't the only one to be affected. I think…I think I am losing the Sight."

"Losing it? How?" Kar knew about as much as Fell did about this strange power that seemed to encompass all of nature. With the death of Tsinga, Tsarr, and Morgra within the same year, I was now the holder of what little knowledge remained regarding the Sight and its origins. Perhaps this was the reason Fell brought Cadea to me. I would have to teach her as Tsarr and Skart taught me…and if I had my way, Fell would learn as well. He turned to me with a knowing look. "The same thing is happening to you, isn't it. It's why you cannot control your visions like before."

I nodded. "It could be, but I'm not sure. Wait – Kar, where is Cadea?"

"I left her with the cubs. They were asking for you. Both of you."

Fell was shocked. "Both of us?"

Kar chuckled, his eyes shining with good humor. Perhaps now we could finally leave our bad moods behind. "Come now, Fell, surely you remember what it was like as a cub. How many times did you beg Brassa to tell us tales of Wolfbane and the Grasht? It seems all cubs are curious for morbid tales like we were." Fell muttered about some being more so than others, but we ignored him.

"I have an idea, but I need Cadea to help explain. Fell and I will be back soon, Kar." He took that as a dismissal and bounded off as though he had not a care in the world. _How is that it that after all we've been through, Kar is so lighthearted?_ Deep down I knew that was the reason I loved him so, but I still had to wonder at it. Shaking my head with a smile I turned to face Fell's solemn expression. "Fell, I followed you out here for a reason, and I'm not leaving you alone until you hear me out."

"I would not expect anything less, Sister." His words were sarcastic and mocking, but I shook the bitter feeling from my mind.

I waited until he met my eyes and saw my determination. "Whether you like it or not, you and Cadea have something in common. She needs to learn how to close her mind to the Sight, and you can help her learn."

He was bristling instantly. "And what makes you think I can teach her how to do this when I cannot do it myself?"

"You must learn from each other. You have more control than you think you do, Fell. Teach Cadea, and maybe you will learn something as well." I hoped that Cadea would have the patience to deal with him, but then she'd made it this far… When I saw his jaw fall open in protest, the words dammed by his teeth, I turned away to find the others.

I turned around before I lost sight of him and called over my shoulder, "Besides, if you feel the need to atone for what Morgra had you do, this is an excellent place to start. It is her memory that is tearing up your heart – not the Sight, and not even yourself. Learn to forget, Fell."

* * *

**Fell**

It was my opinion that Larka wanted Cadea dead. Not only dead, but she wanted me to do it.

I could come up with no other explanation for her wanting me to teach Cadea about the Sight. Honestly, had Harja left her mind altered? Was she insane?

_**She has always been insane, dearest. You know that she never would have chosen to bond with that Sikla of a male had she been in her right mind.**_ _No_, I disagreed weakily. _No, Kar was there to protect Larka when no one else could. Without him, she would have perished long ago. Kar will be good for her._ I saw the way they responded to the other's company and a deep pang in my heart told me that I would never experience that feeling for myself. Larka had forced me to feel a portion of her love for Kar, but there was no way a wolf with my past would find a mate. _Not that I want one, though. What would I do with a mate?_

My sister seemed to have faith in me, though I would never understand why. She was convinced that my soul was not lost to darkness, but how could she be so certain? No matter how I longed to forget my past, I was sure it would be impossible. It was like we were polar opposites, the two of us. She was drappa, and white: I was dragga and black. She had been tested by the gods and had miraculously survived and kept her mind. I, on the other hand, failed miserably. Not only had her entire life (up until now, that is) been a sacrifice for others, but I was ultimately the one she was fighting against. I had done her enemy's dirty work, and look where it had gotten us.

Surrounded by my family, seeing how easily they made each other happy, brought to mind all of the reasons I'd left them in the first place.

Maybe this is why Cadea's presence was so welcome in comparison. She was a stranger to the pack. The cubs welcomed her well enough, but she was still out of place in her fur. Her discomfort soothed me, as if the knowledge that we suffered in our own ways reminded me that I was not the only unhappy one. Perhaps that was unfair of me, but who was I to care?

"Fell?" I startled from my reverie and glared at Cadea, who pretended that I actually wanted to pay attention to her.

"What." It wasn't a question. We were hunting – rather, I was accompanying her while she attempted to hunt.

We were getting on each others' nerves. "Has it ever occurred to you that you are not the only one left scarred from Morgra's actions?" She sniffed the ground tentatively for a scent.

"What do you mean? Of course I realize that Morgra affected all the Varg in some way." Was she questioning my guilt?

"Yes, but have you ever thought about _how_ they were affected? You seem to think that Morgra only wanted to destroy your life, when in reality she was just using you. She could have picked any number of her Night Hunters or the cubs she captured to be 'Wolfbane', but she chose you. Haven't you ever wondered why?" _Who does she think she is, asking me these questions?_ I wanted to pry the answers from her mind, to hurt her. I could take away her sight, and then she would wander blindly through the world, unable to see or hunt. That would serve her for prying.

_**Go ahead, Fell. I won't tell.**_

_No, leave me alone_. At that moment I realized that Larka was right – I needed to gain control of my mind and my body. Morgra _had_ used me, but did Cadea's word hold truth? Frustrated that the younger wolf knew more about my situation than I did, I growled out a response. "The Prophecy spoke of Wolfbane, Cadea. It was my part to play."

Her eyes met mine for the first time since we'd ventured out. They were full of sorrow and confusion, like she was unable to comprehend why I felt this way. "Rar told it to me when Larka first came to us. '_When Wolfbane is dreamt of with terror and dread_', right?" I nodded, unable to speak. She actually laughed in response. "You don't really believe that single line meant that _you_ were to be Wolfbane, do you?"

"If there really is no Wolfbane, then someone had to be the Shape Shifter."

"I don't think so."

"Oh, and just what do you know about it?" I was bristling for a fight – barely a day since I'd argued with Larka, and here I was allowing my anger to control me. _**Let the fire flow through your mind, Fell. Remember how good it feels to release that burning hatred upon another…Remember…**_ "NO!" I snarled as I took off like a startled Herla. I ran, not caring if my fur was caught in the undergrowth or not. I was panting and bleeding by the time I stopped and realized that Cadea was right behind me. By this point I was too tired to fight. When I saw her through the trees I slumped to the ground and hid my muzzle beneath my paws. I was sure that if I was able to block out the world, then the world would forget about me.

As with Larka, my behavior had no effect on Cadea.

"Fell, stop acting like a frightened cub and listen to me." Her heavy panting came from directly in front of me. I kept my eyes covered.

"No."

"Fine then. I will simply talk to that bird up there. Listen if you like. Hello, bird." I peeked through my paws and saw no bird. _Fenris, she's talking to herself now._ "I was just trying to tell Fell that the verse did not mention anything about the Varg actually _seeing_ Wolfbane. They were just supposed to be afraid of him, and we all know that parents like to frighten their cubs with tales of Wolfbane." I growled from my hiding place, causing Cadea to bark with laughter. "In my opinion, Fell is being childish, what do you think?" She paused and I wondered if she was really expected a response from her imaginary bird. "Exactly my point! Thank you, little friend."

The sun shone brightly through the canopy of the wood, and the leaves dancing in the light flickered light across my eyes so that I soon saw red. It wasn't the red I saw when I was angry, though, so I tried speaking. If she could humor my anger, I could at least humor her insanity. "You don't expect me to believe that you are really speaking to a bird, do you?"

This time she addressed me instead of the 'bird'. "Can't you hear him? He says that Morgra could have killed you when she found you, but instead she let you live. She realized that she could mold your troubled mind to better serve her, and the fact that you were Larka's brother was simply fat on the Herla, as it were. Not only would your power ultimately aid her, but you would be able to dig under Larka's skin in a way that no one else could. She could feel the power in you, even when you were half drowned. Did you really not know until then that you had the Sight?"

"He really knows all of that?"

"Yes, now answer my question."

I raised my eyes at her brash words. _**Are you going to allow that little Sikla to order you around?**_ _Yes_. I balked at that thought. _Why should I let her do that?_ At the moment, I could not think of a reason not to. I blinked, trying to remember back to when I was a cub. It seemed so long ago. "I – there was a time when I thought I heard a bird _speak_. It was screeching, but I imagined that I heard words. I only assumed that I imagined it, because I wanted to…be like Larka."

She was on her feet, prancing in excitement. "See? You are no different than the rest of us who see and hear things that we shouldn't. Now let us hunt. What do I have to do?"

Her mind bounced around too rapidly for me to follow. "What? Why do you expect that I can help you?"

"Larka would not have insisted that you come with me if you could not help me. You _can_ hunt, can't you?"

"Of course I can! But you don't understand – I killed the Lera with my mind. Morgra usually brought me – I mean I did not hunt unless I was bored."

"You mean that you hunted simply to kill? You did not hunt to eat?" Her eyes shone with understanding, but she said nothing. I expected to see fear in her eyes, or at the very least disgust. Instead her brilliant golden eyes shone with excitement, which confused me into another confession.

"Sometimes I ate my prey, but most of the time I did it to show them I was no Sikla. Morgra called me wicked and ugly – I had to prove that I wasn't a pathetic scavenger, that I was Putnar." _Why am I telling her this?_ For once, Morgra's voice did not provide an answer.

Cadea yipped and turned to run off, shouting for me to follow her. Unable to stop myself and wonder at the foolishness of my actions, I chased after her. I easily overtook her, as my legs were longer and stronger than hers, but I slowed to match pace with her. Every so often we came across a set of tracks and we would stop to see how old they were. It was thrilling, hunting this way. Since Harja I had been hunting on my own, but wolves live in packs so that they may hunt in packs. The Varg track their prey through forests and over mountains. It struck me just how unnatural hunting alone had been for me, and despite our differences I was glad to have Cadea at my side. Her energy was infectious, and couldn't help wondering at Larka's words. '_Teach Cadea, and maybe you will learn something as well.'_ Was it possible?

We ended up tracking a lone stag to the edge of the pack boundary. It was a magnificent sight that had my mouth watering the moment we saw it. The antlers were split and gnarled and the fur on its face was grey. _It is old,_ I thought. It would be simple for the two of us to overpower the creature. Instead of racing in for the kill, we hid ourselves in the undergrowth and the crest of a hill and watched the stag from above. It was grazing below, unaware of our presence. I could hear the rapid pounding of Cadea's heart from my spot next to her. We were so close we were nearly touching, so I leaned over to whisper some last minute advice in her ear. "It is important that you remember that the Herla is a meal. It is not our equal in any way. The Herla were created for the Varg to chase and feed upon. Do not see it as Lera, but as _food_." Her head turned my way and she nodded, her mouth already beginning to salivate. I nodded and she slipped around to the opposite side of the deer.

She moved so quietly that I could not make out her presence. The tall grass whispered in the wind, covering her movements. I counted in my head, giving her enough time to circle around. The stag's head lifted quickly and its nostrils flared. I licked my lips, eager to spring. Its ears swiveled around in order to catch some sound of us, but we had it now. The wind shifted and I caught Cadea's scent coming from the direction of the stag.

The stag caught her scent as well.

I began creeping towards the Herla and sprang as it did, cutting off its escape. Cadea leapt out next, snarling and nipping at its heels. It bellowed as it reared. It boxed the air for a moment before dropping to its hooves and swinging its antlered head back and forth in an attempt to keep us at bay. I snarled and made to charge it as Cadea instinctively crept around to its unprotected backside. Its attention focused on me, Cadea sprang and caught its long neck in her jaws. It tumbled to the ground, bringing Cadea with it.

She had a firm grasp on it as it tried to paw its way back to its feet. Blood was already spilling to the ground and I noticed how dark Cadea's eyes had become. Her eyes no longer showed the happy, care-free Varg I'd been running with earlier. Before me was a she-wolf, hungry and lost in the bloodlust of the hunt. The sight of her was more splendorous than the old Herla dying at her teeth. It fainted in exhaustion and she leapt to its front and tore its throat out. I could have done this, but Larka said it was important for Cadea to hunt for herself. With the final kill brought on the feast, and I approached the carcass quickly and began tearing large chunks of flesh from the animal. Cadea was quickly devouring the tender meat of the belly, happy growls coming from her throat.

We played with the ribs, tugging them back and forth between us to see who got the meat. I hadn't felt this free in a long time. I felt right, helping Cadea. I contemplated that as I chewed the marrow from the pelvic bone of our kill. With a satisfied grin on her gore-stained muzzle, Cadea plopped to the ground. "Thank you for this, Fell. I haven't felt this good since…well, never. It is refreshing to let your instincts take over and leave your mind far behind, isn't it?"

I agreed with her entirely, but my pride prevented me from acknowledging the fact. Still, I had to reply to her. "What changed? I mean, what did you do that allowed you to hunt?"

"I thought about what you said. When you were speaking of the hunt, and how the Varg are superior to the Lera, I realized that I did not see them the same way. Whenever I saw a fawn trailing behind a doe, I savored the sight. I envied the bond they had, knowing that I may never have cubs of my own. I wished that my clumsy paws did not prevent me from moving with the grace the Herla possess. They run effortlessly through the brush and climb hills in the blink of an eye." I was amazed as she went on to describe how she would lie on her back and watch the way the flying scavengers effortlessly drifted in circles on the air currents above their meals. She spoke of salmon swarming through streams. My mind went blank and her words caused images to appear before my mind's eye. The feeling was incredible. _How have I never seen the world this way before?_ My anger towards Morgra grew as I realized that at one point, I had been happy. With a frown I thought back to that night on the ice, when I had discovered just how _big_ the sky was. Gazing at the stars was the reason I'd fallen through the ice. My appreciation for nature dwindled after that night.

"I suppose that I grew to see them as more than a meal. You helped me to realize that no matter how beautiful, they exist to be eaten. Thank you, Fell." _Is she really thanking me for distorting her view of the world?_ I was going to have to think about this for a while. _Is it possible to see both beauty and food when looking at the Lera? _I looked over at Cadea's pleased expression with confusion and guilt, wondering how she could be so happy with killing something she'd clearly loved.

* * *

**Larka**

"Larka, do you think that Fell will stay with us very long?"

I shook my head. "I don't think so, Skop." We were at the Meeting Place, waiting for Fell and Cadea to return from their hunt. We'd decided that the only two things that could have kept them away this long was Fell's killing Cadea or Fell's running away from Cadea and her chasing after him. As bad as I felt for forcing Fell to do this, I knew that he had to do _something_, and Cadea seemed to rub his fur the wrong way, more so than the rest of us. Surely there was a reason for that.

Kipcha wanted to know if they had done something wrong. "Maybe we remind him of when you were cubs. Father says that Fell was always unhappy."

Kar made sure to catch my eye before he spoke up in defense of our brother. "You have to understand, Kipcha, that _none_ of us were happy back then. We kept expecting the Balkar to leap from the trees at any moment. When we see you all playing, it makes us see that you all have the happy and worry-free life that we never had. It doesn't sadden us, though. We are very grateful that you could grow up without the hardships we endured."

"Exactly. Fell just…I don't know…he _feels_ more than the rest of us. The same things that distress us cause him far more upset," I attempted to explain. My brother was a unique creature, and I was sure that with his past…exploits, most would have difficulty understanding why he acted the way he did. "He just needs to see that we love him and accept him, hurting or not. Can you do that?"

Larka barked in laughter. "Of course we can. We did it for you, after all." My head lowered in embarrassment and I nodded. "Do you think he would mind if we asked him some questions?"

"What could you possibly have to ask him?" cried Khaz. "Palla and Huttser already told us all about what happened."

"I don't know. I just hate having to watch what I say around him."

Kar nudged her with his nose. "Maybe it would be best if you didn't watch what you say anymore. That way he will feel more comfortable, knowing that we aren't keeping anything from him."

"Yes. I can say that the feeling is _not_ a pleasant one." Each of them, Kar especially, laughed at my displeasure. He rubbed his muzzle against mine in manner that meant he hadn't intended to hurt my feelings. I nipped at his ear, causing him to leap back into the cubs. I felt my eyes crinkle in a deviant grin.

"All right, I think the rest of you owe me. Get him," I commanded my siblings.

Kar cried out as the four young ones began creeping towards him in a low crouch. "What! She started it – I do not deserve this treatment."

Kipcha was torn, but Khaz settled the matter. "She is blood related, and you are not, Uncle Kar."

With that they leapt en masse and tackled him to the ground. I laughed heartily at the sight of him struggling beneath the four smaller, excited bodies. My heart lightened, I knew that things would work themselves out in time. As soon as Fell and Cadea returned we would come up with a plan to deal with the Balkar, who I was sure were still searching for my brother.

_Everything will be fine, now that I have Kar and Fell back._


	11. Ch 10

**Again, this is short, but finals are over and my brain is mush. More soon.**

**~The Kerl

* * *

**

**Chapter 10**

"_There's a whisper in the air you breathe_

_Underneath this sky tonight;_

_There's a piece of you inside my heart_

_That runs too deep to describe."_

– _**Here With Me,**_** Eleventyseven**

**Fell**

Cadea and I decided to spend the night away from the pack so that she could practice tracking on the way back to the den the following day. That night I did something I hadn't allowed myself to do in a very long time.

I looked at the stars.

The shimmering night sky hung overhead while I sat there with my head reclined to the point my neck ached. The night bugs were singing sweetly, and the only other sounds were the soft breathing of two wolves and the rustle of the dying leaves dancing in a light breeze of the night. Far off an owl hooted as it took off for a hunt. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, savoring the calm of the moment. There were no clouds in sight as I stared into the heavens.

For a few blissful moments I was able to lose myself in the vastness sky. After a while I tried to remember the stories Brassa told us as cubs, but that time was far too long ago for me to recall anything with clarity. That was when reality broke through my bubble of peace and I lost myself in thought, still looking at the stars. _Why can't life be as simplistic as stargazing?_ I thought to myself. To my surprise a voice that was very distinctly _not_ Morgra's echoed through my mind.

'_Stars are our past, present, and future. They are never-changing constants in an unpredictable world. No matter how lost you become you can look to the stars and find yourself. A wolf can never truly be lost, so long as he can look to the sky.'_

It was Brassa's voice, I knew, but I did not know when she spoke these words to me. It must have been some time that she'd taken Larka and I out into the night. Perhaps we were frightened of Morgra, so she told us this to comfort her charges. _Is she right? Can I find my way again?_ The very thought made me laugh. I was set too in my ways, no matter whether they were truly _my_ ways or they were Morgra's. No, there was no change left in me.

"Fell?" Cadea's voice was heavy with sleep, and her deep breathing had led me to believe that she was already lost to a dream. "The stars are beautiful, aren't they?" I nodded, afraid to speak. I was becoming far too emotional to allow myself to speak my thoughts. My eyes peeked sideways, catching a glimpse of the she-wolf lying on her back with a contented smile upon her muzzle. "I like to find images in the sky and make up stories about them. See that one there?" she pointed with her paw.

"That one looks like a snake?" _**Why are you playing her silly little game?**_ Morgra wanted to know. I didn't answer the voice.

"A snake? No, the one that looks like a rock!"

"A rock."

"Yes, though now it looks more like a boulder. You see it?"

"The boulder." _**She is entirely out of her little mind.**_

"Yes."

"A boulder?" _**You are even more deranged than she is. Why are you listening to this?**_

She laughed. "I see your point. Maybe that was a bad choice. Still, it _is_ part of the game. You start."

"You want _me_ to make up a tale about a _boulder_." _**Listen to me, Fell**_**.**

"Yes. Now."

I wanted nothing more than to tear her tail off for even making the suggestion, but something in me, some part of my brain that failed to work properly or use logic when it should made me do it. This part of my brain did not insist that I be pleasant about it, though. "Alright. Many years ago there was a mountain. The earth cleaved, forming a great chasm in the center. There was a portion that remained, forming a bridge over the chasm that stood the test of time and nature, until last year when my sister was on it and collapsed, burying my sister in rubble and dropping a large boulder on top of Morgra. The boulder is still there." _**You are far too sadistic to live the life of a simple varg, Fell. The Balkar would welcome you as their leader if they didn't want to kill you. **_ "How was that?"

"It wasn't bad for your first try. We shall have to work on- " My movement stopped her talking. I was on my feet, ears perked and nose quivering. I bit back the snarl building within me. To her credit, Cadea did absolutely nothing. She clamped her jaw shut, remained lying prone on her back, and did nothing to alert the stranger to our position. We waited for the muted sound of crunching leaves that signaled retreating paws. "What was that?" she whispered once the stranger was gone.

_**Stay where you are or leave. Either way, you are dead.**_ "That was our sign to warn the pack."

"You mean the Balkar found us?"

"The Balkar found _me_. Now go warn the pack. Tell them to get as far away from the northern pack boarder as possible." I made to trail the spy but Cadea leapt in my way. I pulled up sharply and snarled on instinct. Who did this she-wolf think she was? "Cadea, go. _NOW_." It was up to her to get my family to safety. If the Balkar wanted me, they could have me.

Cadea bristled. "You're crazier than I thought if you expect me to go after them and leave you for cub scraps. I'll come with you." _**Force her Fell. Force her to obey.**_

"Absolutely not. You just learned how to hunt. What in the Red Meadows makes you think you can fight?" Before I knew what happened, Cadea had me on my back, her jaw wrapped around my throat. I choked back a growl as Cadea huffed in annoyance, stepping back to allow me up.

"Because I _can_ fight," she spat out. As annoyed as I was, I couldn't help but admit that she was quick. "And I _will_ fight, but what you are planning is sure suicide. I am sure that your family will fight as well, I –"

"I am going alone, and for your and my family's sake you should get them away as fast as you can. The Balkar are coming, Cadea. Try to understand that. They want me, not my family."

"And what makes you think that the Balkar will not hunt them down after they leave you for the flying scavengers? You forget yourself, oh _Dark One_," she warned, "that I was raised in the rebel pack. I may not have had to hunt for myself but I held my own in Slavka's games. As a young cub I was like clay beneath her paws. She molded me into what I am and I thank her for that. I can help you, Fell, but only if you allow me to. Now, what's it to be?"

_**Kill her now and be done with it.

* * *

**_

**Larka**

The way his ears perked and his eyes shot open implied that my question startled him, but his lolling tongue and thumping tail gave away his true feelings to the matter. I humored him with a soft smile. If I hadn't been resting against him he would have been on his feet. At the last moment he tried to catch himself and contain his anticipation, but Kar was never good at expressing his emotions in ways that were not blatantly obvious. "Honestly, I haven't thought about it," he lied. "The fact that we are free to live normal lives is still too new to me to even consider planning a future, let alone with you. Have you?"

"Have I what?" I asked through a slitted eye. I didn't want to wake up from my nap.

"Have you thought about it?"

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"And what?"

"And what did you think about?"

"Not much. Right after I realized I wanted to think about, I almost died."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"Oh… Hey, when do you think Fell and Cadea will come back?"

My ears flopped as my head shook. "I haven't a clue. I wish I could just look into the water like before. If I could, maybe I would see something to calm Palla. She's terrified he won't come back and that we will chase after him."

"I wouldn't worry too much. Besides, we were bound to leave the pack some time."

That woke me up. I twisted around to look over my shoulder and meet his gaze. His head rested on my back as we lie in the tall grass as the sun soaked our coats. "Were you?"

He balked. "What do you mean?"

"If I hadn't come back – if I really was dead – would you have left the pack?" I knew that as soon as I returned there was no doubt in anyone's mind that we would leave together. Fell had already gone, but I knew that Kar was revolted by the idea of living the life of a Kerl. _Would he have found another pack?_ I waited for a response from him. His silence was answer enough.

"I've been thinking," I whispered after a while.

"About what?" He sounded worried, perhaps by the previous conversation.

"I really think that we need a new plan of action. We ran the last time and look where that got us: we were split up and hunted like foolish Lera. Cadea has seen them – she can tell us everything we need to know."

Kar jumped to his feet and began pacing back and forth, his tail down and his ears flat in a worried expression. "You want to go after them." It wasn't a question.

I stood up in his way and forced him to stop, meeting his eyes before answering. "Yes."

"You think that Fell will let us help him, and the three of us will track down a pack of fighting draggas who want to kill us all." Again, it wasn't a question, but there was doubt in his tone.

My head wagged in disagreement. "Not quite. We know that Brak wants Fell dead, and whatever reason they have to kill him probably involves me. I doubt that they are after the rest of the pack."

Agitated, he shook his head. "Well it is not as though I am going to let them come after the two of you without putting up a fight. You should know that." I rubbed my head beneath his jaw and assured him I _did_ know. "Still, you think that Fell will allow us to help him?"

I shook my head, again rubbing against him. "No, but Fell really does not have a choice, does he?"

"I suppose not, no, but he is sure to make helping him difficult." I agreed with him, but only optimistic thoughts would give us any hope to stand up to him.

A sudden thought occurred to me. "Kar, I need you to try something for me. Fell and I have a theory about what is happening to Cadea, but we have yet to test it…and for that I need your help."

Without any further explanation I darted deeper into the woods. I paused momentarily to make sure he was behind me before focusing on my search. An agitated chorus of flying scavengers caught my attention and I headed towards the source of the ruckus. _Perfect_.

I slowed my pace to a crawl and peered through the bushes at the scene before us. Buried betwixt the roots of an old tree was an old carcass, probably one that Huttser and Palla hid some time ago. A flock of crows were busy unearthing it, fighting to tear off little pieces of the maggoty flesh. I felt Kar at my right and met his questioning gaze. I jerked my head towards the scavengers and concentrated on them.

"Lovely, maggoty feast for us, drearies!"

"Nice and ripe."

"_KAW_! My foot!"

"Perfect waste it is, burying it."

"Juicy maggots. Yellow bone and juicy maggots."

"_KAW_ be to Wolfbane, provider."

"Stupid fool."

"Yellow bone, juicy maggot."

"No Wolfbane. Lies, all lies."

"Want not, waste not."

"My _KAW_! Tailfeathers."

"Evil lies."

"Morgra lies."

"Morgra dies."

"Juicy bone, yellow maggot."

"Fools, all fools."

"Morgra died."

"Stupid Varg know nothing."

"White wolf die too."

"White and black under attack."

"Yellow juicy maggot bone."

"Peck the crack, find a snack!"

"Haste makes waste."

"Someone say the blessing."

"Jellow yone muicy baggot."

"Fell fell in hell well. Yell tell not well well."

"Said well," the rest chorused.

"Peck in!"

"Wasted _KAW_!"

Shaking my head at the lunacy of the conversation I tried to catch Kar's attention. Instead of acknowledging me he remained frozen with his eyes focused on the filthy flying scavengers. I nudged his side and he jumped to his feet, sending the crows into a frenzy as they leapt and screeched and hurled insults towards us for disturbing their meal. Kar tracked their retreat to the sky before meeting my gaze.

"I'm not quite sure I understand how a rhyme about Fell's demise equates to giving thanks for a maggoty corpse." He hesitated, unsure how to fully process what he'd just witnessed.

Or experienced.

Fell and I were right.

* * *

"So what you are telling us is that Kar can hear birds speak as well." Huttser's great head rocked back and forth in a slow manner, as if this action alone would help him to better understand the situation. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, but then I'd hoped this thrice accursed thing would die with Larka and Fell. Besides, I thought that you had to be born with the ability, that it wasn't catching like an illness." Palla nodded along with her mate. The cubs were puzzled as well. What little they knew of the Sight had come from Palla and Huttser trying to hush their quell their curiosity, or from Kar who barely had any understanding of the mysterious power.

"I swear to you Huttser, I heard them fussing like a pack of old nurses."

Huttser gave a sad smile. "Of course, I don't doubt you did. My fear is that more and more will experience the same thing."

"Fell and I do not believe that is the case. While Huttser and Cadea are growing in the Sight, Fell and I are having more difficulty controlling what we see. It is almost as if they are gaining the power we are losing. There is no way to – " I felt a sudden tingling sensation that I'd only ever experienced twice before.

**Larka**.

Skop nudged me. "What is it, Sister?"

**Larka.**

"I don't know Skop. It feels like – "

**They're coming.**

"Larka? Can you hear me?"

**If you can hear me, I need you to warn the pack. They're coming.**

"Yes," I whispered.

**They know I am here. They are going to hunt us down.**

"Fell…"

"Fell? Is he – " The others asking questions rapidly, but I couldn't single them out.

**You need to move them. Run as fast as your legs can carry you and leave. Run south. Keep them safe.**

"He says we should leave. He says they are coming."

"Larka. Larka, listen to me. Tell him we are not running away. He doesn't have to do this alone."

**I know…We will meet you below the Stone Den at nightfall. Larka, do what you can to dissuade them.**

I shook myself as the connection severed. When I looked around I saw my family was huddled close, staring at me. Skop and Khaz were bristled in anticipation. Larka was attempting to comfort Kipcha. Kar's eyes were knowingly determined, and our parents were prepared to rush off to defend their wayward son. I took a moment to absorb it all. I had never before held so much love for my family. The fact that Fell wanted to protect them by sacrificing his own well-being told me he felt it too.

Taking solace in the presence of my family, I gave them our options.

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**Reviews are more addicting than chocolate! (but better for wolfies :D)**


	12. Ch 11

**I've been on a role lately, I know, frightening that I updated twice in the same month…**

**The Kerl~

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**

**Chapter 11**

"_What if this cursed hand_

_Were thicker than itself with brother's blood,_

_Is there not rain enough in the sweet heavens_

_To wash it white as snow?"_

– _**Hamlet Act 3 Scene 3,**_** Shakespeare**

**Fell**

Anxious, I paced in the light rain. My coat was heavy enough to keep my skin dry, but much more of this weather and I would feel the true chill of the night. My paws splashed in the shallow puddles caught by the stone surface, waiting for news from Larka. She made it clear that she would not follow my advice and run, but I had no idea who would come with her. Kar would, obviously: there was no helping that. Logically, I should have been comforted by the fact that my family wanted to stand by me. Not only would greater numbers blow the wind in our favor, but as a singular being it reassured me that I was not alone in the world.

_**But you**_** are**_** alone, my pet. You are my creature, and now that I am gone you are all alone. I doubt you could find another such as us.**_

"Please, Fell, you are making me dizzy. I'm sure they will be here soon." She was angry

"That's just what worries me," I mumbled.

"Oh, stop that. You're sister is perfectly capable of making her own decisions, just as you are." My restless legs paused. Cadea watched me from the corner of her eye as she sat beneath the overhang of the Stone Den. As cubs, Larka and I were frightened by the lurid stories Bran whispered to us of the place, but Cadea wanted to explore the abandoned human dwelling. As far as I knew, Morgra was the last to come to the ghostly edifice. _But is she right? Am I truly as free as Larka?_ "Stop sulking, mud-paws, because you know that I am right."

I snorted, water droplets spraying from my muzzle. "Cadea, are you aware of the fact that the majority of the Lera dislike being called names or ordered around by females? I don't see how Rar puts up with you."

"Rar puts up with me because he has no choice in the matter, not that you care. And who are you to gripe about being bullied?" I met her question with a pointed look. Wasn't the answer obvious? "After all, you are the one ordering me around, as well as Larka and the rest of your family."

"Are you accusing me of bullying my own family?"

"Of course not. I realize that they would never let you. All I am trying to say is that for a wolf who values his freedom so dearly, I wonder why you are so eager to control the lives of everyone around you."

"Trust me when I say that I have never tried to control you. Even if I wanted to, I can't." _**It's because she's made you weak, Fell. You are weak, just like your sister.**_ Cadea's laugh brought my anger to the surface and forced me to turn away to prevent a scuffle. She burrowed beneath my skin nearly as much as Morgra, but I couldn't understand why. As I seethed, I examined the sheer rock surface before me. It was curious, the location of the Stone Den, because it was situated at the base of a small mountain. Rain water streamed over the surface like a waterfall, settling in a pond at the bottom of a narrow stairway. It was beside this pond that we waited, though I could not force myself to remain still in the dry area that the entrance of the den provided. _**The problem with you is that you are fighting your nature. If you would listen to me instead of these senseless females you surround yourself with you would see just how foolish this entire situation is. What do you hope to accomplish by facing the Balkar head on?**_

The voice had a point. _Am I looking for an excuse to kill? Or am I truly trying to protect my family? I could care less what happens to me, but Larka deserves her own life. So why am I dragging her into my problems?_ Any answers I found brought on more questions.

_**The answer is clear as rain – you mourn for the life you had with me as Wolfbane. Remember how you once delighted in harming the Varg. Their cries of pain sustained you more than the carcasses they brought in sacrifice. You were a god, and Larka has taken that blissful life from you. Now you resent her for it. You want to put her in harm's way because you are too soft to kill her yourself. You want the Balkar to do it for you.**_

No. That wasn't true. I had enjoyed my freedom to express my anger while I fed upon the fears of the Balkar, because all I had known before was the suffocation of the suppression of my anger. I'd once felt that Huttser was the catalyst and blamed him for our misfortunes, but Cadea had shown me differently. The way she challenged every word that left my mouth, the way she pushed my temper to the brink, everything she did proved to me that I was capable of controlling my anger if I wanted to. I had no desire to harm her or my family.

Or the Balkar.

I was tired of being the cause of pain in lives of my family and all around me. I had no hope of finding my own happy existence as the rest of them had, but I could begin by searching for contentment. Before I'd thought that I could find that in solitude as Kerl. Now I knew that I was not to be trusted alone with my mind. _How long has Morgra's voice been taunting me inside my head? She's dead and gone, but it is as though she is still here. I can never truly let go of the past and live for the future if I allow her to continue to control me._ It was time I regained full control of my life. I would trust upon my teeth and my paws, the strength of my legs, my pack, and the right of the Varg.

Calmed and collected, I cautiously made my way to my companion's side. "Care to fill me in on your plan?" I asked as nonchalantly as I could.

She eyed me skeptically before giving in. I couldn't say what she found in my eyes that reassured her, but she seemed more confident with our present situation. "When Brak came to my pack he told us that they were still waiting for some of his pack to rejoin them after scouting. The Balkar search areas individually before convening as a group at a specified location. This way they are able to search an area more thoroughly and secretively than as a massed group. I'm assuming that the wolf we saw was a scout, and that he ran to meet with Brak and the rest." She smiled ruefully at the idea.

"Why do you smile when the Balkar will soon be aware of our location?"

"That is my point exactly. The scout will have to wait for the rest of the pack to assemble, and that may not be for some time. Once the pack is assembled and ready to follow the scout we saw, they will go to where the scout saw us – not here. We saw which way the scout ran, but our trail will be cold by the time they come to track us. Even if they were able to follow, it would take some time to find the den." Her eyes rose suggestively, and my own widened as I caught her meaning.

It was a very clever idea. "We will know where they are, but they will not know where we are. You plan to take them by surprise."

She nodded, her eyes twinkling with delight. "And remember that the Balkar seek Wolfbane and not Fell. That is the key."

"I never realized there was such a distinction," I replied sarcastically, laughing at the thought that Wolfbane and I were separate entities.

She growled in laughter. "Wolfbane would never fear leaping into a fight and destroying any who challenged his power, am I right?"

"Yes, but they know that I am not truly Wolfbane."

"True, but they still believe you to be as powerful and menacing as before. The Balkar have also doubtlessly heard of Larka's survival and will assume that she will be there to aid you. They will tread cautiously and focus their attack on you, because they fear you have the greatest advantage. You must encourage them to feel this way. Make them believe that you act alone, and the moment they circle in on you will be the moment that the rest of us leap from hiding and take them by surprise." Her eyes were bright with excitement and her tail thumped the cold stone floor in anticipation. It was difficult for me to distance myself from her pulsing enthusiasm, so caught up was she in her plotting.

A smile snaked across my lips without my knowing. "It is a good plan, though it will of course depend upon who comes with Larka. We will not be able to take on the Balkar if there are only – " I trailed off as a twig snapped nearby. We waited silently as another, then another snap rang through the dreary air. I knew that anyone traveling this late and in the rain must be coming here purposefully, or else they'd have taken more care to be discreet.

"They're here."

* * *

**Brak**

By the time I answered the call and returned to the clearing, two of the groups had already returned. Hual sat whispering to Menduvlad, who was nearly bouncing in anticipation. If not for his stocky build (he was nearly as large as Vantr) he could have been a cub preparing for his first hunt. I addressed the nearest wolf, Gherr. "Where are Cae and Fheni?"

"We have not heard news from them, but they may have been near enough to hear the call," replied Ghaat.

I sighed. "Very well. What news do you bring?"

Ghaat's jaw fell slack as Menduvlad interrupted him. "We saw him, Brak."

Hual shook his head. "What he means to say is that _I_ saw him. About two days run south of here, with a drappa."

"Was it Larka?"

"No, she was grey. As soon as I saw them I ran to find Menduvlad and return here. They were hunting, so the pack den cannot be too far from the meadow we found them in."

"Brak," interrupted Menduvlad, _again_. "Brak, Hual was too careless. They saw him."

I choked back a snarl. "Is this true?"

"Yes, but I – "

Before I could rebuke him Vantr was on his case. He had Hual pinned to the ground and the others snapping at the foolish dragga. "Your orders were not to make our presence known. For all you know the pack was nearby and they've already fled the boundaries! This is exactly what went wrong the last time. If Morgra had not tried to weasel her way into the pack we could have taken the lot by surprise and been done with it. Instead, they knew we were after them and fled before we could capture a single one. I pray you know what this has cost us, Sikla."

"Vantr, that's enough. Hopefully our search has gone unnoticed thus far and we can still reach them in time. Hual, did he recognize you?"

"I don't think – "

"Of course he didn't," growled Gherr. "If he had, Hual wouldn't be here. We still have a chance."

Vantr spoke up again. "Unless that was just what he wanted – to lure us to him. He could have gained what he could from Hual's simple mind and let him go."

I shook my head, my temple hurting as I tried to piece together the information. "No, I don't think so. The Black One has always been quick to punish. Perhaps he was caught unprepared? In which case we still have a chance of capturing him. But we must act quickly."

"Brak, what about Cae and Fheni? They aren't due back for three days." Menduvlad had a point.

"We should leave them," urged Vantr. "Three days is too long to wait. If they had any information for us they would already be here."

"Not necessarily. Gherr and I came across a Kerl who says she heard that Palla has a new litter. They are likely too young to be moved, in which case we will still have someone to question even if Fell runs."

The five males began to debate amongst themselves, some declaring that waiting would be a waste of time and others arguing that six wolves had no chance of defeating Wolfbane alone. "That's enough. We will remain here for one more day. If Cae and Fheni have not shown themselves by then we will leave for the meadow. Rest now, for we will not be stopping until I stand before Fell's lifeless corpse."

We waited, but they did not come. The Lera hid from us as we waited. When we finally departed, the cry of a lone bird rang through the night. My imagination caught a hold of me once more, and I swore the call sounded like a warning. _Beware Fell._

* * *

**Larka**

It was unclear who was more surprised: Fell, after seeing the entire pack walk across the stone floor into the shelter of the Stone Den; or me, after seeing the obvious camaraderie developing between Fell and Cadea. I had hoped that she would teach him to control his anger, but the way his stance shifted towards protective as we approached caught me by surprise. _It seems as though he's learned to tolerate her. And he said he would kill her!_ Perhaps Fell wasn't quite as lost as he believed.

Once he reassured himself that we were no threat, he stood to greet Huttser and turned to me. "It is good to see you, Sister."

"And you, Brother." I wanted to tease him for bringing Cadea back in one piece, but now was not the time, and there was something I'd been itching to ask him. "Fell…how were you able to communicate with me from so far away? It wasn't the same as what's happened before, but I could still hear your voice very clearly." If this was something we could control…

He shook his head. "I don't really know. Perhaps we are only limited as much as we would be using a Helper? It is not important now. Cadea will explain our plan, if you are all sure that you want to do this. I know it will be nearly impossible to send you away myself."

Skop yipped his approval. Kar sat and pressed against me. His bright eyes showed just how pleased he was with Fell's mood. "We are with you to the end, Brother. We would not have come otherwise."

Huttser's fur bristled. "We will do what we should have done when the Balkar came before. No more scampering about the country like frightened Herla."

"I'm glad you agree Huttser. Here is what Fell and I have discussed…" Cadea went on to explain how she suspected that we would have a few days to prepare before Brak and his followers found us. She planned to use Fell as bait to lure them to an area that would be difficult to escape from yet easy to ambush. "Larka, you and Fell will need to rely upon your new ability in order for us to do this properly." Fell nodded in agreement, but I did not understand what was expected of me.

"What do you mean?"

"The Balkar will catch the scent of any wolf who goes to the meadow with me," clarified Fell. "I will have to go on my own while you and the rest of the pack wait some distance away. When I call for you, then we will spring the trap. This will be the only way to take them unawares."

Cadea nodded. "We hope the scout that we saw ran off before he discovered where you all were. If this is the case, when they see Fell alone they will think that I've hid myself nearby. As long as they cannot smell you, they will not be expecting an additional eight wolves to join in the brawl."

"But this relies entirely upon Fell's ability to speak with Larka – what if something goes wrong?" Palla worried aloud.

Fell turned to me again. "We will need to practice our control, but so far our need is what allows us to communicate. Do you agree?" I nodded, sure that if we were unable to summon the power when we wanted, Fell's dire predicament would aid us.

Kar nudged my shoulder and my head cocked in his direction. "I'm sure that Cadea and I may be able to find additional _help_, as well."

"The more eyes, the better," I replied with a smile. "I only beg Tor they are willing."

"Have you found others to stand against the Night Hunters?"

"No Fell, but Kar… we were right about why it is more difficult to use the Sight. Kar can speak to the birds as well."

"Fenris," he swore under his breath. "How many others will be touched, do you think? This is very bad news."

Khaz spoke up for the first time. "But I thought that Cadea and Kar could only speak to the birds? What is wrong with that?"

"Oh Khaz, how I wish you'd been in my pack several moons ago." Khaz was confused so Cadea continued. "Communicating with birds is a part of the Sight, and some fear that this ability will not be the only one to spread through the Varg. No, your brother is right to be wary of this change. Imagine what it would be like if the Varg could see the future as a collective." I shuddered. Kar shifted against me to lick the space between my ears to calm me.

"The future has no place in the present," I whispered against Kar's chest.

Huttser's agitation with the topic of conversation grew too great and he was ready to move. "I think it is time we left for the meadow. We don't know how long it will take for the Balkar to act, and the more time we have to plan our attack, the better our chances will be." Everyone but Fell stood. "Fell?"

"I…" he hesitated, staring at his paws before looking to Cadea and finally me. The depth of his eyes caught me off guard and I gasped. He shook his head as though he were struggling with conflicting thoughts. "I don't want to hurt them?" It came out as a question, but suddenly his face set into a firm expression. He'd made up his mind and overcome whatever internal struggle had been bothering him. "No, I don't want to fight the Balkar. There has already been too much bloodshed because of me. If it can be helped we will not fight them."

"And if it cannot be helped?" asked Palla.

"If it cannot be helped…then we will put an end to Morgra's reign once and for all. She is dead – we need to let go in order for the wounds to heal."

It was decided that we would do what we could to dissuade the Balkar from fighting before anyone attacked. With that in mind, the pack followed Fell to the meadow.

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**Another short one, but they get done this way, and that should make you happy. It makes me happy :D**

**And so do reviews!  
**


	13. Ch 12

**Because Fell is quite poetical, but not the sort to jump into a circle and share his feelings, I jumped around to a few more POVs than I'd planned. I hope it doesn't bother you too much.**

**And thanks to all of the new readers for the comments! Those are the M&Ms during the movie – they aren't necessary but make the experience a lot more enjoyable :D**

**~The Kerl

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**Chapter 12**

"And I hear them saying you'll never change things,

And no matter what you do it's still the same thing,

But it's not the world that I am changing –

I do this so this world will know it will not change me._"_

– _**The Change,**_** Garth Brooks**

**Larka (the other one)**

The days that followed were noticeably different than those of the past few months. Never before had our family worked in tandem as we did in that meadow. True, we were preparing to fight for our lives, but from the brief glimpses into the past I'd caught from our parents and Kar, imminent danger was nothing new to the pack. Through everything they had prevailed, yet it was not until now that they appeared to realize that nothing could stand in the way of 'The Family'. Now it was my turn. It wasn't that I felt the need to prove my worth, but more that I wanted to test myself. I know my siblings were just as eager.

Much to the amusement and distraction of Kar and Fell, Larka and Cadea were sparring across the way. Larka was swift and strong, but Cadea's smaller build and training gave her an added agility that my fair sister lacked. They were evenly matched and it was good for us to observe them. My brothers growled in appreciation as their moves became more complicated and unpredictable. Cadea charged at Larka, coiling to spring. Larka rose to meet her in the air, but rather than leaping Cadea skipped forward and rolled beneath her. As soon as her mouth closed around my sister's thigh Larka twisted in the air and landed heavily upon Cadea. The younger wolf yelped, releasing her hold and giving Larka the opportunity to hold Cadea in place with her forepaws, panting muzzle inches from Cadea's exposed throat.

Skop nipped at my shoulder. "I want to try that." I shook my head as Cadea recovered. Larka and Cadea were practiced fighters – there was no way we would be able to copy their movements. We watched as they tried to convince Fell to join their sparring, something about needing to practice fighting in groups. Kar urged him to participate, and while I would never admit it I was curious to see what my brother was capable of. Skop began whining. "But you have to. Kipcha won't spar and I fight with Khaz all of the time."

"I will too spar," snorted Kipcha. She was always sensitive to the jibes of our brothers, and also more bark than bite.

"Yes, but you won't be any good," he countered.

"Who says?"

"I do."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Skop, stop picking on her." Cadea had given up on Fell and joined us instead. "Kipcha is small enough to do some serious damage."

"Really?"

She nodded towards Fell, who pouted as Kar and Larka laughed about some joke I didn't catch. "Did you see how Larka wrongly anticipated my attack and moved too early?" Kipcha nodded as 'Yes'. That simple mistake allowed me the opportunity to counter her. I want you to do the same thing to Fell." Kipcha's eyes shot open wide.

I laughed. "But won't he expect her to try something like that since he just saw you do it?" How were we to anticipate him wrongly anticipating Kipcha's attack? "He's the mind-reader – not us."

Cadea smiled wickedly, sending chills up my spine. "Perhaps, but we can read other things about him."

"What other things?" asked Khaz.

"Well, we know that your brother is an older, stronger male. He has more experience fighting and will, in most cases, win any fight against any attacker."

The loud groan came from Skop. "So what makes you think that Kipcha should – or could, for that matter – tackle him?"

"Kipcha will get away with it because Fell will underestimate her. And so will the Balkar. They will underestimate all four of you. You are younger, less experienced, and more likely to be intimidated by their male prowess. This is something we can count on, and we can use this to our advantage." Kar and I nodded, but Skop was still not convinced. "Here – let's test our theory. Kipcha, you rush at him like I told you to. Skop will run with you to distract Fell. He will expect Skop to tackle him and will not pay attention to you. If Fell tries to correct himself in the air like Larka did, Skop will tackle him. If Fell suspects that you plan to trick him and does not jump, then Skop will leap to attack and Kipcha will continue to charge him." Khaz caught my eye. If nothing else, it would be amusing to watch Fell put Skop in his place.

Skop, excited to finally test his skills, nudged a reluctant Kipcha forward and rushed out brother. Larka saw them coming and barked a warning. It was soon enough that Fell was able to spin around into a defensive crouch. Just as Cadea predicted, Fell ignored Kipcha and rushed to meet Skop's challenge. Fell pounced, Skop dodged, and Kipcha attacked. She hit him from the side, knocking the wind from him and sending him to the ground. Fell struggled to regain his footing but Skop was already scruffing him. The black wolf snarled, upset that his younger, smaller siblings had managed to best him. Skop, with a pompous smirk on his face, stepped back and allowed Fell to get up. From all that I'd heard and observed of my brother I was unsure how he would react to the situation. Would he manage to control his temper enough to flee, or would his anger get the best of him and lead him to attack? Either option seemed likely, but none us were prepared for what actually happened .

He laughed. So hard that he dropped to the ground, shaking and barking with it. He caught his breath, but upon seeing Larka's astonished expression his composure broke and his good humor continued to our immediate bewilderment. Skop backed away in dislike of the situation. Kipcha was frozen in place, her fear too great.

* * *

**Fell**

A force stronger than myself, more persuasive than Morgra, and more tantalizing than the smell of new grass had me in its grips. I was entirely at its mercy and without a prayer to regain control. I recalled the way wolves squirmed as I tortured their minds, the way they seized up and were completely under my control. While my mind urged, begged my body to obey, there was nothing I could do to. My chest and belly ached in protest, unaccustomed as I was to losing all sense of myself. My lungs burned from shortness of breath. Whatever had me clutched in its jaws was surely going to kill me. And the worst part was that I couldn't bring myself to care. I _enjoyed_ feeling this way.

One look at Larka told me all that I needed to know – I'd officially gone insane. But then why was Kar smiling like that? Kipcha was frightened, and little Larka was staring at me so intently that I nearly sobered up until I realized that two Larka's thinking I was crazy was far more humorous than one and lost it all over again. Laughter – uncontrollable laughter was something I was largely unfamiliar with. The new sensation tickled my insides and outsides equally.

The moment came when I felt the feeling was too much for me alone. It was echoed by another body again and again and again until all of the wolves in that clearing were prostrate on the ground, shaking with laughter. It was infectious. _What's going on? We were days away from what we suspected was an imminent massacre and I was just pinned by my younger siblings and we find this to be amusing? Surely it was a bad omen…_ And yet I found that our situation did not upset me in the slightest. I was elated.

I laughed because the family that I was most concerned about protecting had just bested me, revealing how idiotic my concern had been. I laughed because my sister's face implied she'd stumbled upon a skunk's love nest, rather than seeing a grown varg incapacitated by his own good humor. I laughed because Kar laughed, though I had no idea what he found so funny. It was probably me. I laughed at that. Yes, I was laughed at the fact that I was laughing.

Not since my early cubhood had I ever come close to experiencing this feeling. The painful hate constricting my heart was gone. I felt dizzy, as though I drowned in the sky and longed for the earth to ground me. Perhaps a better description was that I had startled from a deep, troubling sleep and found that I was so safe it was lunacy to be worried by a bad dream.

Morgra was finally gone. I was free.

And it was time the Balkar were freed as well.

The part of my brain still functioning properly wished that they would find us here; that they would see me this way. According to Cadea they were worried that my sulking about the dark forests would be cause for alarm and inspire another power-crazed wolf to go the depths Morgra had. I was resolved to avoid a fight, but it was not until now that I felt confident we could manage it. The key would be to show them how I had changed, I supposed. Fenris knew if this change would hold, but I prayed he would give me a sign.

It was strange how, with everything that had happened over the past few years, I was so utterly convinced in the existence of our gods. I knew all-to-well that there was life beyond this. We had all seen the Searchers. It was ironic for me, having thought I was Wolfbane or some ghastly equivalent, to know that beyond the tales Brassa told us and the lies Morgra concocted that Fenris looked after his own. Tor, who supposedly had favorites among the Varg, must be equally as real – how else were we to explain Larka's surviving? Or Kar's? Or my own? And not only that, but we were _living_. There was no other explanation.

That was another thing I needed to talk to Larka and Kar about when I managed to regain my sanity. For the time being I was content to roll around in the meadow with my family. Some time later Huttser and Palla found us slumped on the ground, worn out by whatever had happened to us. The looks on their muzzles suggested that they wanted an explanation for our lax behavior, but a harsh cry broke the air. I searched for its source even though we all knew who it was before we saw him. Larka called out to him and he flitted down to us to awkwardly land in the long grass of the meadow.

I stepped forward and lowered my head to the eagle in acknowledgement. Cadea and Kar did the same, while the rest of the pack circled around behind us. Larka stepped forward and bumped him with her nose in greeting. "Hello, dear friend. It is good to see you again."

Skart's head bobbed. "And you. I'm glad to see you back to your old self…or at least well-fed and in your right mind." His beak cracked in what I imagined was the equivalent of a smirk at his joke. He coughed and ruffled his feathers before glancing around at the others. "As much as I wish I came with good news I'm afraid I've brought a warning – the Balkar are on the hunt."

My tail bristled. "How near are they?"

His head tilted to the side in consideration. "If they continue at their current speed and don't hunt along the way, then I imagine that they will be here before tomorrow's moon. They are coming from the forest north of this meadow, so there should not be anything to slow them down."

"Did you get a count, Skart?" The question startled him, or rather the fact that Kar asked it startled him. His gaze shifted between Kar and Cadea before sweeping my younger siblings, as though he expected them all to begin speaking with him. Kar ignored Skart's surprise and patiently waited for an answer.

The old eagle replied that he had, in fact, noted that there were only six of the eight present when he'd left them. "Of course I had no idea what they were talking about, only that they are primed for a fight. Perhaps they will regroup with the others on the way?"

"Maybe…I suppose we will have to plan for all eight of them and consider ourselves lucky if the others do not join them." I thought about the odds we would be facing and was not too worried by what I saw. Our number were greater and we had another day to plan. "Our ten against Brak's eight would be about even, although our chances of talking them down would be greater if there were only six. No offense to the young killers intended, but they will not be intimidated by the four of you," he added with a smile. Skop snorted and Larka nudged Kipcha.

That was when I saw the dumbstruck look on Skart's face. At least I assumed it was dumbstruck – I was not as well-versed in avian expressions as Larka. "What do you mean when you say 'talk them down,' exactly? You're not really considering a _compromise_, are you?"

Larka cut off my response, saving me the trouble of arguing with a bird. "We're done, Skart. We don't want to fight."

"What if time has not dulled their temper? They seek Fell to destroy him, not talk."

"True, but we must convince them that Fell is no longer a threat."

"And if you cannot?"

"If talks fail, then we will show them that I _am_ a threat."

The remainder of the day was spent in preparation for the upcoming confrontation. Cadea and Huttser sparred with the younger wolves. Kar and Palla scoured the area for places to hide. Larka and I practiced our initiating and breaking our mental link. Even Skart helped out by finding potent vegetation to mask our scent. This was going to work. It had to. The consequences were too severe were we to fail. Long ago I accepted the fact that my life was bound to be a dismal failure, so I was not concerned with my future. It was the others…and the Balkar. If they succeeded, and they managed to kill out those with the Sight – there were now four of us – then the Sight would be forever feared. The Balkar would look upon themselves as peacekeepers and would hunt down liars.

That was what they'd been when Morgra corrupted their ranks…

The busy day soon settled into a cool, lazy night. Skart went off somewhere to nest until the morning. With the summer drawing to a close the pack huddled in the shadow of a fallen tree, though I noticed that Larka and Kar had gone off a ways to whisper in secret. _They suit each other_, I told myself. Questions began racing through my mind at the sight of them: how long would it be before they left to stake out their own pack territory? Where would they go? Would I ever see them again? It was only natural curiosity on my part, but far more difficult to face than it should have been.

I didn't begrudge my sister her happiness – I was truly delighted that, despite all of the obstacles they'd found a way to each other again. Kar made Larka happy and she returned the favor. For a moment the future – rather the possibilities of the future – opened up before my mind's eye. A heap of squeaking fur squirmed between the two in a dark, earthy den. Larka wore a tired smile while Kar's grin threatened to split his head in half. There was Kar later, his attentive cubs curled up with their mother, captivating his audience with some new tale of his own creation. Kar would toy with their emotions as he went along, and Larka would shake with poorly contained laughter as she worked out the secret meanings behind his words. They would lead an ideal life.

It was something I would never dare to dream of for myself.

Surrounded by my family as my eyes grew heavy, I could only pray that the rest survived so that they could find their own happiness. I didn't deserve it like they did. Different as I felt from before I could not allow myself to imagine that my past was forgotten enough to pave the way for a bright future.

* * *

**Larka**

"I never thought I would say these words," Kar sighed, looking at me from the corner of his eye, "but I think that Fell stands a chance." The eye winked at me before shifting its gaze towards the sky.

My head tilted on a stretched neck in an attempt to better see his face. It didn't help, but I did see his lip quivering as he bit back a smile. "Would you care to explain?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Well...What if I'm wrong?"

"Wrong about what?"

"What do you think?" he chuckled, as though the answer lie just beyond my nose.

"Have you ever noticed how infuriating it is to have someone answer you with a question?"

"Does it really bother you that much?"

"It doesn't bother you?"

"What doesn't bother me?"

"The fact that you tried to distract me so easily. You should be ashamed," I joked.

He shook his head, rolling into me as he did so. "Only if it worked."

"It didn't."

"I'm still not going to tell you."

"You meant Cadea, didn't you." He tried to keep a blank expression, but his raised brow gave him away. I chuckled. "Didn't I mention it before?" His muzzled lowered as he took in my features with a look of skepticism. I winked back and leant in with an even lower voice. "I can read minds."

He buried his muzzle between us in a poor attempt to muffle his laughter. Looking back to the pack I saw that none of them seemed to have been disturbed. I shifted to my side and placed a foreleg over him anyways, drawing him into a semblance of an embrace. Willing he obliged and moved to lie over my other foreleg and rest his head next to mine, partially pinning my body the cold ground. The dying grass rustled beneath us and I couldn't help but think of how different this was to our last encounter with the Night Hunters. That night I'd been plagued by the near certainty that I would die the following day. Kar had been there with me, but the closeness of the moment was absent then. Now she was surrounded by family and was curled up with her mate beneath the stars. What more could she possibly ask for?

Her mind circled back to Kar's comment, and Kar's voice made her jump as he gave voice to her thoughts. "I didn't want to say anything in case I was seeing things that weren't real, but Cadea has been very good for our brother."

His nose bumped mine and my lip curled in a smile. "Yes, she has. Though I think that he has done her more good than she has done him."

"Really?"

I nodded. "You should have seen her with Rar's pack. The others picked fun at her. She couldn't hunt for herself, and her brother was upset that she would never find a mate to take her. He did not want her as a burden and she knew that he felt that way. Of course he never said anything, but it was evident that the shadow of the feeling was there. At least while I was there she felt useful, but I'm afraid I was poor company for her."

"She doesn't seem to think so."

"That only proves how sorry her situation was. With Fell it was his past that haunted him and there was little we could do – healing was up to him. Cadea's present was what held her prisoner and she could not escape it. She has always been strong-willed, but what is the point of that when you must rely upon others as she did? No, she has benefitted from him as much as he has from her." It was hard to look back on those bleak times for me. Especially when life was going as pleasantly as it was. Yes, a pack of bloodlusty males was making its way towards us at that very moment, but I couldn't find it in myself to care. We had a good plan, and I was not going to let anything come between myself and the future of my pack.

My brow raised in question at the look he gave me. "I wonder what Fell plans to do about the situation." It wasn't a question, but we were both wondering the same thing.

Kar's tail thumped in time with the slow beating of our hearts. I felt the air building up within him just before the sigh passed his lips. His breath hung on the air, mingling with mine. "Do you think that the Sight would grant you one last vision after tomorrow?"

My brow furrowed. For all I knew I'd already used up my last vision. "What is it I'm supposed to look for?"

He shrugged. "I was just wondering where we were supposed to go once this is all over – I've no idea where we should start our family, let alone spend the winter. A few of the rebels I talked with came from the south and liked it there well enough, and we've spent so much time in the north… Honestly, I would be perfectly happy to never go there again." He shuddered, making me laugh.

I inched closer, soaking up his warmth. "You only say that because you spent your time in the mountains. The forests are much nicer."

"I don't have particularly fond memories of the forests, either. Too warm for my liking."

"When they were on fire, yes," I chuckled, picking at a bur tied up in the fur between his shoulders.

A contented growl preceded his words. "Yes, but the fire was far nicer than the mountains."

"Really?" He had told me of the strange dogs he'd met, and of the long winter and of Skop's passing. Of the bats he rambled on to and how he had forgotten to care for himself properly. '_I chewed stones to pass the time,_ I recalled him saying.

"Somehow I managed to convince myself that because I was unable to find you, you were dead. That the world was dead. At least in the burning trees I was still myself."

"You know, that's another thing the three of us have in common." I was surprised the thought hadn't struck me before.

"What, losing our minds?"

"Yes. Fell thought our cubhood was a dream and was reborn as Wolfbane. You tried to make friends with bats in some secluded cave in the mountains, and I forgot everything entirely."

He opened his mouth to say something but changed his mind at the last second. I shot him a look and he grinned. "I was going to say that you should at least be grateful that you didn't go crazy when you lost your mind, but then I remembered that you let a human ride on your back like one of those ugly Herla. Clearly that's more insane than communing with flying rats."

* * *

**Next chapter will hopefully be the end of the Balkar. Please R&R!**


	14. Ch 13

**Muahahahaha I finally got this out the way I wanted to. I didn't go back through and edit it like I should have, but I figured you wouldn't hate me too much for posting it a week early.**

**The Kerl

* * *

**

**Chapter 13**

"_I did a terrible thing to you, and I spent a lot of nights wishing I could take it back._

_I'm not asking you to forgive me - I just want you to understand."_

– _**Spiderman 3,**_** The Sandman**

**Larka**

The next morning we woke with the sun. Skart assured us that we had time to hunt before the confrontation, but Huttser argued that feasting would only serve to slow us down. Still, we did not waste our time in our positions for the ambush. Now that Fell and I were sure that we could reach each others' minds, we wanted to test our ability to reach Skart's. If he were able to spot them coming, we would know _exactly_ where to meet them. Cadea and Fell were already known to the Balkar, so they would lie somewhere in the open while the rest of us circled back around. Skart's forewarning would give us more time to prepare and reduce the risk of our springing the trap too early. Fell had spent the better part of two years living with them – he knew how they thought and fought and was sure we could catch them unawares.

Neither myself nor my brother were able to reach Skart in any way other than with our voices. Kar suggested that he or Cadea try, but they fared no better than us. Still, Fell and I were able to reach each other, which would still give us time. We split up into two groups, mine heading in a northerly direction before veering outwards. Kar led the other group, thereby allowing Skart to communicate with each of the groups.

It was a good plan…if only it had worked out.

We heard the cry as the sun began to dip in the sky. "They're close! Hurry up!" I leapt to my feet and ran, ran as fast as I could. I ran until I couldn't see – only my sight had nothing to do with my running. What I saw was Cadea standing at my side in an empty clearing. _They aren't here_, I thought. Fell broke contact and I was stumbling. Kipcha bumped into me and Huttser tripped over her. Khaz stopped in time to avoid falling.

"Larka, what happened?" Huttser was furious, his worried face was inches from mine.

I shook my head. "I – I don't know. The Balkar aren't in the meadow. I don't know whe –"

"Run! Run!" It came from the other side of the meadow, around where the others lay in hiding. Skart's call was echoed by the rumbling growls and snarls of what were unmistakably angry wolves. We ran as fast as our legs could carry us, barely daring to dwell on what sort of scene we would come upon. Khaz pulled ahead of me and I knew we were too late.

"What have you done to us?" shouted a voice.

We ran on.

"Ah!" screamed another.

"Make that filth stop talking!"

"Please calm down – we only wish to speak with you," one pleaded.

"Do not believe his lies! Kill them!"

"NO!" That was Palla. Another moment and we were on the scene, stopping short as we took it all in. I couldn't believe what I saw. Skop lie motionless on the ground, his throat bloodied. A wolf I'd never seen before stood over him licking his chops. One had Cadea pinned to the ground while another clenched her bleeding thigh between his teeth. The remainder of the Balkar circled Fell in an attempt to ward off Huttser and Larka. There were six present, and Fenris knew where the other two were. Palla was frozen, staring down at her cub. Skart called out from above.

One of the males – I assumed that this was Brak – turned his head in our direction. I saw his eyes widen as he recognized me. Kar took a step forward to stand between us, but Brak snarled a warning to stay back. "I see that the rumors are true," he whispered. The others turned and various growls and gasps gave away their surprise. Fell looked to me with a desperate plea.

I took a deep breath and raised my head high, knowing better than to move an inch closer to our attackers. "Brak," I snarled, "tell us why you are here."

His lips curled back in a sneer. "We've come for your dear brother, O White One. Surely, one such as yourself, one who has travelled to the Red Meadow and back _twice_, would have no reason to protect _Wolfbane_. We've come to ensure that his wickedness no longer taints the earth."

Cadea stirred beneath her captors, yelping as the jaws dug further into her flesh. "Tell them Larka! They won't listen to us!"

"Shut up, Sikla. Don't pretend you haven't come to warn them. We remember you well enough."

A deep growl rumbled from Huttser as he circled around the group towards Skop. "She's done nothing to you – let her go."

"No. Not until he finds a way to undo what he's done to us!"

Brak and another looked to Fell, who seemed unaware of their distress. "I have no idea what they are shouting about. Morgra is dead and we all know I had very little to do with that."

_Snarl_. "We don't want that old fool back. We want you to take back the curse you've put on us. We want you to die so that your evil will be destroyed." He cast a wary glance toward the sky where Skart was still circling overhead.

"And what sort of curse do you suppose I've put upon you, Brak? I never touched you, and yet you come here and attack my family as though you've some divine orders. Pray tell, what is it that I've done wrong?"

"The mere fact that you exist is _wrong_. Do you expect us to allow you to continue masquerading as some defunct god, torturing the Lera as you did with Morgra? Your sister has already shown us just how powerful the Sight is. How are we to defend ourselves from the likes of you and your family?"

"Brak, you have it all wrong – you don't understand. Fell and Larka – " One of the others cut Kar off.

" – must be destroyed." The response was a chorus of howling from the Balkar. The two holding Cadea down let up, but she was too weak to stand on her own. Fell rushed to her side and Palla rushed to Skop.

Cadea managed to roll herself up into a near-sitting position, but she was forced to lean upon Fell for support. "Killing Fell and Larka will not rid the world of the Sight. No, it's too late for that. Things are changing."

Fell shook his head. "Stop Cadea, don't." Brak's brow contorted in confusion as Fell tried to prevent the Balkar from learning of Cadea and Kar's new abilities. He rounded on me, demanding that I explain. I cautiously met Kar's eye before opening my mouth to speak. The next words did not come from me, though. "Brak, you know as well as I that nothing has been the same since Harja. If anything we need to stop the rumors running rampant through the forests and the glens. We've tried to keep Larka's survival a secret, but word will spread."

Cadea barked in half-hearted laughter. "Yes. If you kill Fell, who's to say that he won't come back like Larka?"

"Dead is dead, and you know it," spat one.

"Yes, but the Varg are superstitious and will listen to nearly anything. Isn't that how Morgra convinced you to turn on Tratto?" Snarling. "Anyhow, I can hardly believe that you are truly prepared to destroy all who possess the Sight."

"Skart!" The eagle glided to my side, meeting the startled looks of the Balkar with a steely one of his own. An idea came to me and I quietly whispered to Skart.

"See how she commands the flying Putnar!"

"Shut up, Menduvlad. What can she possibly hope to accomplish by whispering to a bird?" He laughed and turned towards Cadea. "And I should tell you that you are wrong about me – it will not pain me in the least to dispose of your new friends."

Skart skipped forward a pace, cocking his head to the side as he spoke. "Perhaps, but then there will still be others with the power." Brak froze. His back was to me, and consequently to Skart, but there was a visible tension in his shoulders. His ears perked before sliding back. Finally his tail dipped. _He's scared,_ I thought. "Yes varg, I speak to you. Turn and face me." The wolf shuddered before tilting his head to peek over his shoulder. Skart picked up a leg to approach and Brak flinched. "You are frightened. I did not suppose that Morgra would choose a Sikla for the leader of her filth, but I see I was wrong." Brak snarled and side-stepped, swinging around to face Skart fully.

The Balkar were now confused, for their Dragga was reacting to what they heard as a series of hisses and clicks issued from Skart. Brak snarled, but his body language told us that it was only for show – he was beyond terrified. Again he demanded to know what had been done to him.

Fell took a half-step forward, closing the circle around Brak. His head turned as a strangled breath came from Palla and Skop's position. _He is still alive._ "I have done nothing to you, Brak. If I had, do you think that I'd have left you capable of doing that to my brother? You remember what I was capable of…"

Brak shivered and raised a skeptical brow. "'Was'?"

"Yes. _Was_. The prophecy was fulfilled at Harja – we have no more need for the Sight."

The big male nodded. "And this is why you must die."

Skart screeched in laughter. "So then Brak has not told his pack about his new abilities."

"NO!" cried Brak. "They can't know!"

"Who can't know what?" one of the males asked. Skart was already leaping into the air when Brak pounced. Skart circled overhead before laughing at the poor wolf. It seemed as though my idea was working. "Brak! What in Wolfbane's Den is going on with you?"

Fell shot me a questioning glance. I nodded before explaining. "Whatever Morgra told you about the Sight is probably wrong. It isn't the same as being stronger or faster than other wolves. The power of the Sight is more like…like rainwater. Rain is everywhere, but the water only collects where it is needed most. Plants need water to survive and soak up the water from the ground. However, streams and ponds are the places the water collects for everyone to see. Fell and I are just the places that the Sight collected and was the most evident. Now imagine that the earth was flat – that there were no large bodies of water. Rain would spread the water equally and the water would be used equally. That is what is happening with the Sight. There is no longer any reason for it to be collected within a few bodies, but used equally amongst the Lera like it once was. Even now it is leaking from Fell and I and touching the Varg." I swallowed nervously. I'd done my best to keep Cadea and Kar out of the discussion, because if talks failed then they were in as much danger as Fell and I.

"Don't listen to her! She speaks lies to weaken your mind!" Brak was shaking in both fear and fury by this point.

"I know you can understand me, Brak!" shouted Skart before he wheeled around to land behind me.

"Someone make that bird shut up!"

The Balkar began exchanging nervous glances as Brak's composure failed entirely. One of the smarter males realized the implications. "Are you saying that the Sight is…spreading?" He eyed Brak, unsure of what to do with the information before him.

"No," Fell corrected. "The Sight keeps a natural balance in the world. Larka and I were not meant to possess such powerful abilities as the Sight allowed us. We used them to fulfill the prophecy and now they are leaving, restoring that natural balance. I cannot touch the minds of the Varg as I did before, nor can we look into the water to summon visions at will. And now more and more of the Lera are speaking to each other…including Brak."

"So says _'Wolfbane'_, the Dark One," Brak sneered. His ears and tail were twitching in agitation. "Don't listen to his lies! Kill him! Kill them all for doing this to us!"

Fell snarled so viciously I could feel every hair on my body stand on end. "If you've come here to punish me for being Morgra's dog then so be it. I did not want a fight here, but you've attacked my family and I will defend them. If you've come to destroy the Sight once and for all, then you are a fool. You cannot destroy what you do not understand, Brak, and you are now included in our number. At least five of us here today can speak with the birds, but how many more are out there running around? Will you hunt them all down and kill them one by one?"

"Of course I will – it is my duty as Balkar to protect the peace."

"If you do that then you are no better than Morgra. This has to end now, Brak. All of you listen to me! I've lived the life you led with Morgra – I understand your pain, your anger, your regrets. She tricked me as well. Still, we must learn to let go of these pains before we can heal. Violence is not the solution here and it never will be. I promise you that even if I were still able to harm you with the Sight I wouldn't do it." Fell shook his head and looked to Cadea, who was breathing heavily with the effort of keeping herself upright. Her leg was bleeding badly, but my major concern was still with Skop. He was shielded from me by the tall grass, though I could hear Palla whimpering above him.

Brak's Night Hunters were lost. Huttser saw this and approached the largest one. The male barely acknowledged Huttser's presence, he was so lost in his own thoughts. "It is in the nature of the dragga," began Huttser, "to want to protect one's pack. You have come here to kill my children and I have come to meet your challenge. I will protect my family, but I wonder who you are protecting by coming here. Surely none of you have families of your own. What is your name?"

The wolf shook himself from his thoughts and peered at Huttser through the corner of his eye. He was younger and bigger than Huttser, but Brak's behavior had put him on edge. "Vantr."

Huttser twitched his muzzle in Brak's direction, and we all looked to see how the leader of the Balkar was curled up in a shivering ball of fur. It looked as though he were attempting to make himself small enough that Skart could not see him. "Do you see what would happen if Fell and Larka were not here to explain the powers of the Sight? Madness will spread along with it, Vantr. If you want to fight, by all means fight the madness. We've already seen that nothing can stop the Sight."

His words shocked me. Only my eyes moved, seeking those of my brother and my mate. Never had Huttser shown such reverence for the Sight. Tsinga taught me that it is a part of everything – it is how the different creatures and plants survived in the midst of the chaos brought on by man. It was balance. Huttser admitting that showed us just how far he'd come from the fearful skeptic of my cubhood. I saw the surprise in Kar's eyes as expected, but Fell was almost smiling like he knew that Huttser could give no other response. Like he was meant to.

Vantr listened. He listened as Palla told the story of our pack from the time she was a cub and Morgra was unjustly driven out by her own family. Huttser recounted how the Balkar had chased them and how Morgra had come for me soon after Palla gave birth to Fell and I. I told them of the struggles we faced growing up with the Sight and knowing nothing of it beyond cubs tales. Sadness hit me as I told them of Tsinga, and of finding Skart and Tsarr. Fell recalled the anger and jealousy that Morgra had used against him, and how he had relied upon the Sight to make his place in the world she trapped him in. And more than just Vantr listened. The others gave us their full attention as they began to realize just how far Morgra had led them astray. Cadea explained how Rar had brought me back to her pack to heal and how she had been rendered helpless then. A soft smile graced her features as she told of Fell helping her to control the Sight. Kar spoke as well, detailing my return and his sudden ability to understand the birds. Together, we were able to relate all of our knowledge of the Sight to the Balkar, keeping secret only how to perform the Summoning Howl.

Sometime during the day Brak began to calm down. He would not ask us questions, but I knew that he listened just as intently as the others. Palla tended to Skop and Cadea rested against Fell, drawing strength from him. I remembered what I'd been told of the healing powers of the Sight, and I could see that they would both be alright. We took nearly the entire day to speak with them. As the sun began to dip below the treetops, Brak stood and faced Fell. The Balkar, who were now resting amongst my family, looked to him with a new fire in their eyes. Some shifted, as though they were prepared to fight him off should he attack my brother.

Instead, Brak surprised us by dipping his head to Fell. "You are right – we underestimated the depth of Morgra's deception. I beg your forgiveness for blaming you for the cause of our troubles. Perhaps our hearts need more time to heal before we resume our positions as true Balkar."

Vantr cocked his head, his ears perked. "Is there even a reason to keep the pack together?"

"Yes," voiced another. "What purpose do we have now?"

Kar, previously lying by my side, rolled into me in an embarrassingly playful and affectionate manner. "If you want my advice," he barked, "I would go out and find some of those she-wolves who left the rebel pack after Harja." _That is the future father of my cubs, advising a group of murderous males to venture forth and enjoy some feminine company. I'm so proud_, I thought sarcastically. "Dig a den, have a litter or two, avoid forest fires, and _live your lives_. Pass on what you've learned today. Perhaps in time the Sight will be as it once was, and there will be no need for the Balkar beyond preserving the truth of it."

Brak nodded slowly, a renewed energy in his eyes. The fear was gone and replaced by the acceptance of his situation. "We will tell the Varg of all that your family has done. Your story will not be forgotten. Oh," he said as he turned to face me. "Of course, we will make sure to keep your presence here a secret. You were seen by others after you left Harja, though they believed that it was your spirit searching the land for something." He raised a brow cockily. "Shall we say that you've found what you were searching for?"

I nodded, licking Kar's muzzle in response. Brak smiled and bent low into a stretch. The Balkar got to their feet one by one, and one approached Cadea. A protective growl rumbled from Fell, but the wolf ignored him. "I hate to admit it, but your brother's pack is doing a fine job of protecting Harja. He headed us off before we got there…did you see her?"

"Brother?" queried Fell.

"Her?" asked Cadea at the same time she shot Fell a bewildered glance. "Yes, Morgra's body is there. We've seen her. She is dead."

The Balkar gathered and bade my family farewell. Brak assured us that he would visit Rar in the north and pass on what had occurred between our packs. The Balkar would share their knowledge of the Sight with the Varg so that we would be left alone.

It was more than any of us had dared to ask for. I sent a silent prayer to Tor for protecting us.

Skop, though covered in blood, was not injured as badly as I'd originally believed. I stayed by his side, hoping to heal him as best I could. In the meantime, my younger siblings raced and played in the meadow, elated by our victory. Kar was drug into the mayhem and soon found himself far outnumbered in the game of chase they played.

Over their delighted yelps and howls I heard Cadea laughing at Fell. She wasn't able to reach her wound to clean it properly, forcing Fell to oblige. He licked the wound and cleaned the blood from her fur as she teased him, though it seemed that her good humor was best for the both of them. "Well who did you think he was?"

"Not your brother."

"Was your nose covered in mud that day? How couldn't you smell the relation?"

"Of course, but he was so protective of you that I thought that –"

"Rar is only protective of me because he doesn't think that I can take care of myself. My father had another mate before my mother – Rar's mother – and both died delivering their first litter. He raised us both, though the rebels killed him when he refused to join Slavka. They told him it was for the good of his family because Morgra was collecting cubs, but he refused to allow us to be separated. Before he died, Vangr made Rar promise that he would look after me." Fell was pleased by this explanation, though he did not say anything to express his feelings. I only hoped he would not wait as long as Kar did.

Once I was convinced that I could do nothing more for Skop, I left him in Palla's care and went to find Skart. I found him with Cadea, Fell, and Kar. They were working through what went wrong with our plan. "It would have worked out well enough if Brak hadn't been able to understand Skart's warning," Cadea yawned. The cool night air sent a shiver down her spine and I saw she edged closer to Fell without even realizing it. She was already half-asleep, but Fell was keenly aware of her closeness. He kept looking down at her like he wanted to put some distance between them, but wasn't sure how to accomplish that without offending her or waking her up. I curled into Kar's side, relishing his warmth, and caught his eye. They twinkled in obvious amusement and we had to stifle our laughter at the scene Fell was making.

"I agree," chuckled Skart. "What do you plan to do now?" he asked Kar and I.

Kar sighed. "I was talking to Huttser about that earlier, actually." I shifted to better take in his expression but he would not meet my eyes. "He says that we should spend the winter with the rest of the pack and wait until the ground thaws to search for a place to make our home.

"Well I'm not staying," huffed Fell. His movement stirred Cadea and he froze. Her jaws spread in a yawn before she buried her muzzle in my brother's dark coat. His eyes shot open wide and he stared down at her. I coughed to regain his attention and Kar asked why he was so ready to move on. Fell snorted in amusement and shot Kar a knowing smirk, but his eyes kept straying to the figure nestled into his side. "I thought you of all of us would be ready to make your own way. Besides, the cubs aren't cubs anymore and there is no way that ten grown wolves will be able to share that den for the winter. Even if we enlarged it, finding enough game to keep us fed will be nearly impossible with the humans living so close."

"What will you do, Skart?" Kar turned the conversation to Skart so that he would not be forced to watch Fell watch Cadea as he spoke.

His beak cracked open in a semblance of a smile. "Tsarr and I found one another when I was very young. I have many years ahead of me and I think that it is about time that I found myself a mate. It is time that I lived among my own kind. Perhaps some day I will return and tell you of my travels."

"I hope that you do. We will miss you, Skart." Cadea's breathing was deep and slow, so we knew that she'd fallen asleep. Fell sniffed at her curiously and I couldn't help but tease my brother about his absurd behavior. "She isn't doing to bite, Fell. Honestly, what do you think you're doing?"

His head shot up and his mouth opened in protest, but the words caught in his throat. He looked back down to Cadea, and then at each of us in turn before returning his gaze to Cadea. His brow furrowed, and after some time he gave up. He jerked his muzzle in her direction before asking me what that meant.

"What does what mean?" Kar snickered next to me. Luckily Fell did not notice.

"What is she doing?"

My head tilted to one side, then the other as I pretended to study her thoroughly. Fell's desperate eyes caught mine as soon as I looked up. "It appears that she's sleeping," I said in a definitive tone.

"But why is she sleeping _here_?"

"Because it is a cold night. Hadn't you noticed?"

"No."

"Of course he didn't notice – right now Fell feels rather warm. Can't you tell by the way he's panting?" teased Kar. Fell took a deep breath to shout back, remembered that Cadea would wake up if his voice was too loud, and growled something rather unkind under his breath. Now, having experienced the sensation of being pressed against a growling body before, I could not blame Cadea for her response. She stretched out beside him, now fully pressing herself against Fell in her sleep. Fell yelped in surprise and leapt to his feet. Cadea's head was jerked up by his movements, startling her awake. My brother raced off to a chorus of laughs and jeers aimed at him, and Cadea could do nothing but lie there confused as to why she was suddenly alone and wonder at the oddity of the eagle screeching in laughter before her.

"What happened?" she asked, a yawn escaping her jaws. "Where did Fell go?" She was looking around, but winced as her leg sent a sharp reminder to the rest of her body that she was in no condition to go off in search of him. She shrugged and resettled herself in the grass, curling up into a ball to keep warm.

Skart left the following morning. He promised that if he was able he would seek us out one day. The rest of us agreed that we should stay in the meadow until Skop was well enough to make the trip back to the den. Just over the rise of the meadow was a small brook we moved him to rest by. His breathing was improved, but he had lost a lot of blood and was still weak. Cadea's leg was badly torn and I knew that it would never completely heal, but with luck she would still be able to hunt.

Fell had returned some time during the night. He kept his distance from Cadea, but Kar told me that he was only thinking things through and that he wouldn't be able to do that with her around. I asked him what he meant by that, but rather than answering me he agreed to take Khaz and Kipcha hunting. Larka wanted to stay with Skop, and Huttser was trying to convince Cadea to stay with the pack. Palla decided to stretch her legs by joining the hunting party, and Fell tagged along to distance himself from Cadea. I decided that I could do more good by staying with the injured and seeing how the Sight could help them.

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**YAY! I am planning on writing one more chapter. I've also added a separate prequel of sorts, called After the Fall that you can read if you want.  
**


	15. Ch14

**WOW. Writing this story has been such an experience. I want to thank all of you who've finished it, and say that your reviews have driven me to actually write the final chapter. I've been dreading this moment from the start, when I would actually have to end the story. But I can't really say goodbye to Kar or Fell. I should apologize that the past few chapters were rather sub-par, but it's so dang hard to devote time and effort to write something that I'm not required to do for class!**

**Maybe I will write some more about our favorite wolves, but for now I'm planning on leaving this as-is, so no planned sequel on my end.**

**Wolf kisses to Dana, who inspired me to start writing this in the first place, way back during homeroom with Mr. Turner, and to wolfgirlnowandforever for allowing me to bounce ideas off of her and introducing me to Wolf's Rain.**

**Anyhow, on with the story!**

**The Kerl~

* * *

**

**Chapter 14**

_"I know you've denied yourself the experience because you think it must inevitably end in pain and loneliness._

_It's time to let go of the things that prevent you from finding happiness. You deserve to love someone,_

_and be loved in return."_

– '_**Grace',**_** Stargate SG:1**

**Fell**

"I still don't think we should leave him like this."

"Kipcha will watch out for him, don't worry. This is where he wants to be. He hates nothing more than feeling useless." I turned and gave the snowy mount one last glance before racing to catch up with Cadea. I would be happy to never return to this place.

"Rar says that his presence will attract attention."

I snorted at the thought of an old, mourning dragga drawing attention to Harja. "If anything, he will help deter the rumors. The Varg will see an old wolf who has lost his family, driven to the place where they were last together. Honestly, Rar's presence would attract more attention than Huttser's, and we both know that Huttser felt guilty about Rar being in that position in the first place."

"But I told him that Rar _wanted_ to be there. He knew that Rar saw it as his duty to protect the secrets of Harja." She shook her head, clearly still frustrated with Huttser. "It isn't as though Rar was there alone, either."

"No, but you have to understand Huttser. He has lived his entire life with the belief that a wolf doing anything outside of hunting and mating is unnatural and should avoided at all costs. That was why he was so furious when we discovered that Larka had the Sight. He told me that Rar should live a _normal_ life, and that did not include protecting what he still considers his pack. Huttser is stubborn—there's no changing that."

She stopped abruptly, forcing me to leap to the side to avoid trampling her. Her eyes twinkled and left me with that uneasy feeling in my gut that seemed to flare up whenever she was near me. "You are a lot like him, you know?"

"Like Huttser? I'm nothing like him."

"Of course you are. And before you say anything, Palla agreed with me."

"She did? When?" Palla had died several moons ago, just before Larka had given birth to her own cubs. Her death had been hard on all of us, but Huttser had not recovered. He hadn't wanted to remain with my younger siblings through the winter, choosing instead to do what he could to protect all of his family. They were sad to see him go, but at the same time their blood had been boiling and they were more than eager to begin their lives as adults.

"In the meadow after the Balkar left. She was so proud of you, and she said how much you reminded her of Huttser. She also told me that she could see why I was so drawn to you," she said as she turned away and sat.

I wasn't sure what to do. _The way she says things—does things—that make me feel so uncomfortable come to her so naturally._ Even if it was out of season, I could still tell what she wanted. Her tail flicked across the powdered ground, revealing the dead leaves beneath the snow. Her head moved a fraction, just enough so that she could gauge my reaction.

_She is beyond infuriating_.

I felt my blood racing through my veins. I was breathing faster. I had no idea what was happening to me and that angered me further. All I could be sure of was the fact that she enjoyed provoking me like this.

There was nothing for it now, so I leapt at her. My mouth curled in a smile as she predictably dropped and rolled beneath me, causing me to land splayed overtop of her. She nipped at my underbelly. I darted forward and turned, meeting her mischievous eyes. Cadea coiled to return my attack, her rear end sticking up in the air behind her. I noticed her tail flicking back and forth like it did when we hunted.

So I took off running.

We darted and rolled and dodged along the snowy forest floor, unaware of any chill or the damp cold seeping into my paws. She leapt clear over me, landing to my left. I turned right and dropped to the ground as she once more sailed by through the air. Rather than getting up I remained on the ground, surrounded by snow. Heavy panting somewhere behind me (or in front of me…I don't know, I was on my back) alerted me to her location. I closed my eyes and played dead.

That's right. I _played_. Played like I hadn't done since Larka and I were cubs. I felt like I was going to explode with emotion. Everything that had been keeping me apart from myself and my family, even the forest in which I walked suddenly vanished like smoke. I could _feel_ again. No pain, no anger, just _feeling_.

"Fell? Are you alright?" She peered down at me with a raised brow.

I smiled back. "Yes. I'm fine."

* * *

**Larka**

"At first Morgra wanted to protect the three cubs. 'If you come with me,' she told them, 'then I will do all I can to protect you from my father's wrath. I can teach you his ways so that you can please him.' The cubs knew of Wolfbane and feared him, but they were even more fearful of what Fenris would say if they went with Morgra. They sent her away, telling her not to come back to tempt them.

"Morgra came again when the cubs were nearly fully grown, but she was not in a compassionate mood. Wolfbane had punished her for failing to bring him the three cubs. He made her barren. Morgra was desperate to keep the young wolves for herself, even though she knew her father would punish her for sparing their lives. Again, she begged them, 'If you come with me, I will do all I can to protect you from my father's wrath. I can teach you his ways so that you can win back his favor.' The cubs were older now and had grown into the powers of the young Putnar. They tried to chase her away, but Morgra was very powerful.

"'Fools!' cried Morgra. 'No one can protect you now. You three are cursed amongst the Lera, for none of the Varg, not even the silly Herla will help defend you from the wrath of Wolfbane! Another moon's time and you shall find yourselves in my father's company.' And as she cried those words a bolt of lightning struck the tree at her back. She disappeared into the night.

"The three wolves were frightened now. The black wolf was sure that they could fight Wolfbane and his servants before the curse took its toll on the friends. The grey wolf was confused – he did not believe in curses, but he was sure that Wolfbane would not stop hunting them. The white wolf felt guilty, for you see, she had a magnificent secret. She knew that the three friends had been blessed by Tor with the Sight, but she was unsure of the power given to them and kept the knowledge to herself. Still, the friends were determined that nothing could separate them. They made a pact with each other, swearing on the ancient human dwelling that they would always continue to fight for one another.

"That winter, Wolfbane sent a terrible snowstorm to disorient the wolves, making game difficult to find. Morgra led the black wolf away from the others, trapping him in a frozen river. She poisoned his mind and convinced him to turn against his friends. The grey and white wolves were then distanced by a fire. Without his friends, the grey wolf began to forget who he was. The white wolf, too, was alone, and thought her two friends to be dead. She grew bitter and blamed Tor for killing her pack.

"Tor took pity on the white wolf, however, and sent her a wolf to guide her. The old wolf travelled with a great eagle, for he too was blessed with the same power as the three friends. The old one instructed the white wolf in the ways of the Sight. He taught her to look into the water and see into the past and future. He showed her how to control her powers. And finally, he showed her how to see through the eyes of his eagle friend."

The story continued on late into the night, drawing to a close as the harsh winter weather settled down to rest. "…And the white wolf nearly fell from the bridge, but she leapt close enough to the edge of the chasm that her friends were able to pull her up. Wolfbane's daughter was defeated. Over time, the wolves powers dwindled so that even speaking to the Lera became difficult for them. The pact they made as cubs, though, kept them true to each other and to themselves. Now it's time to sleep."

"Father! You must tell us what happened to the white wolf!"

"That's enough, Palla," I growled. "Your father said it's time to sleep."

Palla was fuming, her ears flattened against her creamy head. Tsarr would not accept defeat as easily as his sister. "But we must know how the story ends, Mother. Did the white wolf kill the black wolf?"

"Of course she didn't!" It took a moment for me to notice all of the raised brows in the den. Kar was biting back a smile. "I mean, why would she want to when the black wolf was her friend?"

"Tsarr, don't be so stupid," shouted Tsinga.

"Tsinga!"

"But he wasn't paying attention—the three wolves made a pact, so they would never kill each other, right?"

"Larka, I don't think they're ready for the end of the story just yet. Maybe in a year or two…" He winked at me as the cubs leapt to their feet, his words having a rather undesireable affect. "What did I just tell you? Sleep! Now!"

Silenced by the growls of their father, the cubs raced to the back of the den and curled up together. Kar eyed the group warily as he made his way to my side, nestling a little closer than necessary. The den was smaller than the one I'd been born in, but there were less of us to accommodate. We lie facing the cubs with the cold night at our backs to keep the wind and weather from the children. One of the cubs squeaked, causing the other two to erupt in similar expressions of amusement. Kar spoke into my ear loud enough for them to hear. "Why is it that whenever I try to make them behave, they end up laughing at me? I'm their father—they should respect me," he pouted.

"They do respect you…but you are not quite as imposing as you think you are," I whispered loudly.

"Oh really?" I leaned forward and plucked the clump of moss from his throat, raising a brow in question. More laughter from the cubs was silenced with a glare from Kar. "Fine, but see if I tell them how the story ends…" he grumbled into my neck.

Sleep was the furthest thing from my mind, but I couldn't speak with Kar until the cubs fell asleep. Instead, I allowed my mind to wander back over my previous winters, each so vastly different. I recalled Fell and I curling up as cubs, listening with rapt attention to Brassa's tales of Wolfbane and the gods. How naïve our dreams had been back then, hoping to grow old with our pack around us. That was when Morgra had first visited our family.

A breeze picked up, sending a shiver up my spine. Kar pressed closer to me, licking my muzzle. How warm it was in our den. Two winters ago I'd slept in a den of ice. And then last winter… Well, this winter was certainly my favorite by far. _And it will be ending, soon_. It was for the best, of course, because the cubs were growing bigger and more restless by the day. Still, I did enjoy sharing Kar's warmth through the snowy nights.

Kar shifted, his muzzle pressed against my ear. "I think they're finally asleep."

"I told you the story should have waited until tomorrow."

"I know, but we have to hunt tomorrow. And…I feel like we've been lying to them by not telling them everything that happened. They have a right to know."

"Perhaps you're right, but for now it is our duty to protect them. Long after we fade away the story will live on—that will have to be enough. They will find out some day, but not until they are old enough to understand what really happened." I took a deep breath, clouding my head with his scent. "Sometimes I wonder if I really understand it all myself."

His body shook with contained laughter. "All I know is that I am lucky to have you here, safe and warm against me in our den to look after our family. Fenris knows I couldn't manage the three of them on my own."

"Yes, but I'm also certain that Fenris knows that you would not have any cubs to look after at all if it weren't for me." He curled up around me, blocking the cooler outside air with his body. "Don't go getting any ideas, now."

"Me? Never," he whispered directly into my ear. His breath tickled the sensitive fur there, sending a different kind of shiver up my spine.

"I'm glad to know that you enjoy being a father so much." Tsarr kicked out in his sleep, catching Palla across the muzzle. She whimpered but did not wake up.

"Well, you make it so easy to enjoy…"

"Shhh…I don't want them to wake up."

"Neither do I." We lie in silence for a while, listening to the slow, gentle breathing of the cubs. "Sometimes I stay awake at night because I'm afraid that if I fall asleep, I'll wake up and think this was all a dream. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up outside of Huttser's den and go back to thinking you were dead." There was nothing I could say to him—I had the same fear of waking up to a smarting tail and the knowledge that my brother and my best friend were both gone. Instead, I burrowed my face into his chest, nudging him until his head rested atop mine. I took another breath, allowing his autumnal scent to mix with the dried bracken and the crushed leaves that littered the den. Who needed fresh air when this smell was available to me all of the time?

There was something familiar about our current position. Kar noticed it as well. "Promise me that when you wake up in the morning you won't forget who you are and pick a fight with me?"

"I'll do my best," I whispered as the rhythmic pounding of his heart lulled me to sleep.

* * *

~N=K^*

_"He heard of the wolf's love of his cubs and how the little ones would gambol and tumble in the snow,_

_until their paws were tired with playing and they would run back home and bury their tiny silver muzzles in_

_their mother's fur."_

**- ****Fire Bringer****, David Clement-Davies**

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**THE END**

**If you haven't done so, go ahead and check out my other Sight fic, After the Fall. It's a one-shot that got me writing this story and could be called a pre-quel, I suppose.  
**


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